Off The Data Provided

In the latest episode, Dr. Marcus C. Shepard reviews an Institute for Family Studies article about five traits marriage-minded people should look for in a partner and expands the advice to apply to all daters. Dr. Shepard outlines the five traits: clear intentions, feeling protected, faithfulness online and offline, encouragement and shared values, and believing marriage is for life; and explains...

In this week's episode, Dr. Marcus C. Shepard breaks down recent data on online dating and shares practical advice for using dating apps more effectively. Drawing on reports from Match Group, Bumble, The Knot, Pew Research, SwipeStats and academic studies, he outlines who is using apps, how matches and messages break down by gender and age, and how many relationships those apps actually create. Ke...

In this latest episode, Dr. Marcus C. Shepard revisits cuffing season and walks listeners through the key growth phases of committed romantic relationships. He frames cuffing season as a process (pre-cuffing (scouting), drafting, and tryouts) and explains how people use this time to test compatibility.  The episode breaks the growth phase into six steps: individuality (know your needs and non-nego...

In this episode about long distance relationships, Dr. Shepard discusses how to make long-distance romantic relationships work by centering clear communication, setting shared expectations, and practicing metacommunication (communication about communication). He recommends scheduled check-ins that remain optional so partners can opt out when they need space, planning regular meetups (aim to keep t...

In this episode, Dr. Shepard breaks down destructive relationship behaviors and offers clear guidance for being more ethical and effective in how we relate to others. The episode focuses on secret testing (indirect strategies people use to reduce uncertainty) and explains seven common tests: directness, reactiveness, endurance, indirect suggestions, presenting the relationship to outsiders, separa...

In this episode, Dr. Shepard reacts to Sabrina Brier’s viral video ( https://x.com/sabrinabrier/status/2089902047420141919 ) about the “social savvy” friend who tells a pal to “lock in” with mutual friends instead of passively liking posts. He summarizes the skit, explains the heated debate it started, and frames the moment around the podcast’s core idea: investment in friendships. Dr. Shepard fur...

On the latest episode of Off The Data Provided, Dr. Marcus C. Shepard breaks down cuffing season in terms of what it is, where the term came from, and how shorter days and seasonal affective disorder (SAD) can drive a desire for closeness during the colder months. Dr. Shepard outlines the typical cuffing season timeline (scouting in August, drafting in September–October, official cuffing in Novemb...

In this episode, Dr. Shepard explores infidelity: why it hurts, what it reveals about relationships, and how we might respond. Prompted by viral stories and listener questions, Dr. Shepard frames cheating as more than a moral failing and urges a clearer, less binary conversation. The episode outlines key themes of commitment as action, the roles of fidelity, loyalty, desire, jealousy, truth-tellin...

In this latest episode of Off the Data Provided, Dr. Marcus C. Shepard returns after a short break to explore adult friendships: how to form them, maintain them, and when to let them go. He revisits his friendship formula—investment, emotional closeness, trust, and support—and walks through the friendship life cycle from initial encounter to nascent and lasting friendships. Dr. Shepard shares real...

In this week's episode, Dr. Marcus C. Shepard responds to the New York Times essay " There's Nothing Wrong With Wanting Men," exploring the ideas of heteropessimism and the proposed shift toward hetero‑optimism. Dr. Shepard summarizes the essay's main arguments and places them in the larger context of social media narratives, the manosphere, and changing gender attitudes. The episode defines heter...

In this weeks episode, Dr. Shepard explores The Times of India piece, "The Quiet Grief of Adult Friendship," ( https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/blogs/civil-irony/the-quiet-grief-of-adult-friendship/ ) and examines why friendships often dissipate in adulthood. He introduces his concept of "amienship," discusses how social media and smartphones encourage voyeuristic, low-investment connections, a...

In this episode Dr. Marcus C. Shepard explores the launching and post‑launching stages of the family life cycle and offers a practical framework for renegotiating relationships between grown children and their parents. Dr. Shepard reviews family communication patterns (consensual, pluralistic, protective, laissez‑faire) and explains how a boundary‑resetting conversation can move families from old...

In this week's episode of Off The Data Provided, Dr. Marcus C. Shepard revisits Kat Vellos’s book "We Should Get Together: The Secret to Cultivating Better Friendships" and explores why making and keeping friendships in adulthood is so hard right now. Dr. Shepard highlights the loneliness epidemic (quoting the former U.S. Surgeon General about its health impact) and how smartphones, social media,...

**Sorry for the delay, my hosting site was having technical issues for over a day** On this week's episode, Dr. Marcus C. Shepard examines a new Institute for Family Studies article that challenges the soulmate script and explains how social media, dating apps, and AI can distort expectations about romantic relationships ( https://ifstudies.org/blog/rethinking-the-one-how-the-soulmate-script-disto...

In this week's episode, Dr.  Marcus C. Shepard breaks down the Institute for Family Studies' 2025 survey ( https://ifstudies.org/report-brief/americas-demoralized-men-part-1 ) of over 2,000 young men (ages 18–29), exploring how definitions of adulthood are changing and how economic and educational shifts are reshaping life milestones. The episode covers major findings on how many young men delay t...

In this episide, Dr. Shepard examines a recent Institute for Family Studies/YouGov survey ( https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-one-role-gen-z-women-still-want-men-to-play ) of 18–29-year-olds about dating and gender roles. The episode summarizes key findings showing that most Gen Z men and women prefer egalitarian dating arrangements, which include sharing date costs and household responsibilities, wh...

In this latest episode, Dr. Shepard breaks down the Institute for Family Studies ' national survey of 5,275 unmarried young adults (ages 22–35) and shares what the data reveals about today’s dating landscape. The episode highlights key findings: 86% of young adults expect marriage but only about one-third are actively dating. Major barriers include finances, low self-confidence, and negative past...

On this episode, Dr. Shepard explores Dunbar’s Number, the idea that humans can meaningfully maintain about 150 social relationships. Drawing from Robin Dunbar’s book "How Many Friends Does One Person Need?," Dr. Shepard explains the social intelligence hypothesis that links neocortex size to social-group limits, breaks down the layered structure of relationships (from 3–5 closest friends to 1,500...

In this episode Dr. Marcus C. Shepard breaks down three internet era relationship behaviors: ghosting, orbiting, and breadcrumbing through what they mean, why they’ve become common, and how they affect both romantic and platonic connections. Ghosting is the sudden withdrawal of communication without explanation; orbiting is staying digitally connected (likes, story views, occasional DMs) without r...

In this episode Dr. Marcus C. Shepard walks through Sherry Turkle’s "Reclaiming Conversation" and explores how smartphones and social media shift us from deep, face-to-face conversations to mere, shallow connections. He highlights terms like fubbing, whole-person conversation, solitude, punctuation in texting, maximizers vs. satisficers, multitasking vs. unitasking, intellectual serendipity, and w...

Host Dr. Marcus C. Shepard discusses Jonathan Haidt’s book "The Anxious Generation" and how the shift from play-based to phone-based childhoods has reshaped Gen Z’s social skills and mental health. The episode covers key concepts including real-world versus virtual-world communication, conformity and prestige bias, discovery versus defend mode, safetyism, anti-fragility, and the four opportunity c...

Dr. Marcus C. Shepard explains the family life cycle and the four core family communication patterns—consensual, pluralistic, protective, and laissez-faire—focusing on conversation and conformity orientations and how they shape family dynamics. The episode ends with three practical tips for better family communication: reorienting relationships with restart conversations, managing words-thoughts-e...

Dr. Marcus C. Shepard discusses a Wired article ( https://www.wired.com/story/ai-relationships-are-on-the-rise-a-divorce-boom-could-be-next/ ) on the rise of AI relationships and their growing impact on marriages, including legal disputes and financial secrecy tied to chatbot companions. He applies interpersonal communication concepts (investment, emotional closeness, trust, support) and Duck’s st...

This episode summarizes a Swedish longitudinal sibling-comparison study ( https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10680-024-09722-6 ) showing that cohabiting people have mortality risks between single and married individuals, with differences growing with age. Dr. Marcus C. Shepard discusses health benefits of partnership, implications for aging and COVID-19, and ideas for future research on co...

Dr. Marcus C. Shepard reviews a new multi-country study reported by the Institute for Family Studies showing that couples who met in person report higher relationship satisfaction and stronger experiences of intimacy, passion, and commitment than couples who met online ( https://ifstudies.org/blog/couples-around-the-world-who-met-in-real-life-are-happier-than-those-who-met-online ). The episode di...