Midnight Wisdom

Four days left to submit to the thesis and here I am smoking in a park talking about how all of this fits into my plan.  Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not out darkness that most frightens us. What's your deepest fear?

With the moon ahead of me, a tea in my hand, myself and my thoughts. I roam.  I'm getting bored. And it's time to start having more fun with what I'm doing. There's no reason to be afraid, there's nothing to protect.

In this one I confess two things. And I go into my compulsive need to find a problem in my way of being or way of thinking. Which is funny and ironic because I'm basically identifying that as a problem. We're usually our own worst enemies. And frankly, I'm terrified of myself.

After spontaneously deciding to go to Berlin for a night, I'm back in Hamburg.  On the way over there I was like "What the hell am I doing on a bus to Berlin right now.. All I want to do is eat and sleep." But obviously I couldn't eat or sleep, I broke the day to day pattern of everything I was following, and now I was hungry on a bus with only time on my hands and a party to look forward to....

The need to be liked, the patterns of thoughts in my head, the narrative I believe and doubt at the same time. Desperately trying to find a problem about myself to fix. Who am I? If I had half a mind I'd book a bus to Berlin and party my ass off.  

I go through a lot in this one. Last weekend I went to a money management seminar for 2 days and it felt like they were trying to brainwash us a lot of the time. I did learn a lot though.  I also had a weird moment while meditating the other day. I detached myself from the meaning the word "Meaning" had. And realized the only meaning it really has is the meaning I give it. At the end of the day it...

I ran into Dominic in an event in Amman, Jordan, that I broke into with a friend of mine.  Representing Nvidia at the time as the head of Virtual Reality, Dominic went on stage with his VR Head-set with a huge screen behind him that showed us the experience he was going through. From his voice alone you could tell how passionate he was with what he was doing.  As he gave his talk, he too...

Before sharing the conversation I had with Dominic, the former head of Virtual Reality in Nvidia, I reflect on a few things that have been bothering me. Mainly my attempt at being clear and aware of the things I'm putting my energy in, and how I feel like I'm not sharing that clarity as best as I could.  At the moment, I feel like I haven't been developing the level of knowledge that I want w...

 "I fell without falling, I was somewhere else I always was, I was someone else I always was, but I was also still me." I passed out this Wednesday doing Bikram yoga. We were doing yoga in a 40 degree room, and as I followed the movements, the chain of who I thought I was melted away, and I became something else in a moment that felt like a lifetime. A lifetime that passed in less than 5 seconds. ...

Even the attempt at being genuine comes off as artificial.  I look into a few stupid things I've done when it came to the podcast, courses and the book.

Letting go is a part of our ability to get to continue. To create space in our homes, our lives and our minds to move on to the next step.  I start this episode by randomly showing appreciation to my microphone and it all carried on from there. As much as we consume and as much as we use in our world today, we disregard how we couldn't do a lot of what we think is very normal for us without t...

It's hard for us to know which thoughts define us and which thoughts don't. The inner dialogue constantly running the backstage of our minds. It's an interesting aspect to us to take a look at.  The thoughts and opinions we form without ever giving it a thought. About the people we love and the situations we find ourselves in. Thoughts that come and go so quickly, almost impossible to hold on...

 Just like that, I’m automatically on his side. He had no choice in that, he had nothing to do with that. But here we are, in a place where I’d do anything for someone who’s never ever done anything for me.  I’ve always wanted to be an uncle, and now I am.  We need to be careful now, another Gemini is on the loose ;) 

I recorded this yesterday right after finishing writing the last chapter in my book. I have 3 days left till I turn 23 and I promised myself I'd be done with the book beforehand. Let's see how that goes.  I was going to record this episode in the same football field I recorded in 6 months ago, and I was planning on reflecting a little bit about what changed the past 6 months. It's crazy. But...

I submitted a speech to the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime . I'm almost done writing Understanding Intelligence. The book cover looks amazing (I think :D) I filled in a few details I missed mentioning about my mushroom experience. 

I managed to convince my economics and finance professor of three years to record an episode with me.  I wouldn't say I "convinced" him because he was always down, he's always up for a new experience.  He's an investor, an analyst, a consultant and funny enough we didn't even bring up finance throughout the entire episode, but it was one of the more fun Midnight Talks we've had so far.&n...

Energy will always move.  Energy will always find more complicated representations of itself moving.  An endless representation we embody. An endless representation we exist within.  The way we talk, the way we dance, the way we dress.  The sports we play, the abstract thoughts we discuss and debate.  The changes in ourselves we see throughout our lives, the personalities...

How much can we attribute to ourselves from the good that comes? Is it something that we do or happens through us? I'm finding it harder and harder to attribute anything to myself, or identify with many of things around me. How much choice did we really have with us being ourselves? And how much choice did we have in the little choices we did have?

I've been accused of something I didn't see coming. It shook me for a moment but I gave it a lot of thought and tried to take a lesson out of it. I'm home a day earlier than I should be. But I explain it all throughout the episode. Thanks for giving me the chance to feel heard.  I love you all and this is just one more lesson to learn throughout this journey.

What would go through your head as you take a step out of the plane? Would you remember to breathe?

This is between me and the microphone. You get to watch. 

I got a pretty cool monkey poster I put over my bed.

We're all keenly aware of how happy we are, or how happy we aren't. Happiness is something we're all chasing, yet sometimes it feels so out of reach.  What is it that truly makes us happy? The things that satisfy us or the things that give our lives meaning?

We impose our will on the world with every action we take, trying to mend any imbalances that exist between our internal state and our external state.  Behind every intention is a meaning we're trying to translate from within ourselves to the world around us. Like drinking water to quench thirst or throwing a dart and trying to hit the bulls-eye. We don't have a single intention at any one ti...

I met this white Finnish dude a week into my time in Madrid, and we acted like a married couple ever since. We saw each other like 6 times a week and took dancing classes together. I dub him "The Zenmaster" but our Cuban salsa teacher always called him "Rubio!" because he couldn't bother remembering his weird Finnish name. He ocassionally called me "Rubio!" too, even though I'm not blonde. I mean...