Call Me Tony

Tony used to work with a man who was addicted to crack and alcohol. While Tony and his wife were struggling to afford formula and diapers for their infant son, his coworker quietly made sure the baby was taken care of before spending money on his own addictions. It challenged Tony’s assumptions about addiction, weakness, selfishness, religion, and what actually makes someone a good person. Eightee...

“If at first you don’t succeed, give up!” My dad used to say that. I thought it was shit advice because almost everyone else was telling me the opposite: try, try again. Never quit. Keep pushing. Almost 30 years later, I’m starting to think Dad might have been onto something. In this episode, I talk about the difference between taking a break and genuinely giving up, why persistence isn’t always a...

I used to gobble up every bit of news I had time for. It left me stressed, angry, and carrying emotional reactions to things I couldn't influence. These days, I don't follow the news. I seek out information when it directly affects me, the people I care about, or a decision I can actually make. In this episode, I talk about the pressure to "stay informed," why I don't think bei...

When I was a kid, the rule was pretty straightforward: have fun and come home when the streetlights come on. For hours at a time, we were largely responsible for ourselves. We took stupid risks, got hurt, wandered into places we shouldn't have been, fought with our friends, worked things out, and occasionally learned the hard way why our parents had rules in the first place. Some of what we di...

In the first episode of Call Me Tony, I told a story about someone I'd loved when I was young. Someone I hadn't seen since 1994, but who remained a significant part of my emotional life for more than two decades. At the time, Facebook kept suggesting her as someone I might know. I chose not to reconnect. I wanted to preserve what we'd had rather than find out what reality might do to t...

Curiosity has shaped my life. It has changed my beliefs, challenged my assumptions, and helped me see the world differently. I wouldn't want to lose that. At the same time, I've learned that not everything valuable needs to be completely explained. In this episode, I explore the difference between curiosity and control, why we feel uncomfortable with uncertainty, and how the search for ans...

We all like to think we evaluate evidence objectively. I'm not sure we do. In this episode, I explore why different beliefs often seem to receive different standards of evidence, whether belief is actually a choice, and why certainty can become a trap. Along the way, I reflect on my own experiences changing my mind, why curiosity has always been more persuasive than humiliation, and why I'...

Seven years ago I recorded a short podcast asking myself a difficult question: Am I a failure? Finding that old script forced me to confront a different question entirely. By what standard do we decide whether a person has succeeded or failed? In this episode I revisit that younger version of myself, not to correct him, but to understand him, and explore how my thinking has changed over the last s...

How do we know when someone has truly changed? This episode explores the difference between remembering the past and allowing it to permanently define the present. It's a reflection on accountability, evidence, boundaries, and why we should be careful not to confuse history with identity.

Two days after my father died, I walked into a toy store and found comfort in a place I never would have expected: a giraffe finger puppet named Richard. What began as an impulsive purchase quickly became a private coping mechanism during one of the most difficult periods of my life. While arranging a funeral, supporting family members, and trying to hold everything together, Richard became a quie...

The 12 Thoughts That Trap Us When Life Gets Heavy When life gets heavy, our minds often fall into familiar patterns. We ask ourselves why we're suffering, what we did to deserve it, why nobody understands, and whether things will ever get better. In this episode, I walk through twelve common thoughts that tend to appear during periods of depression, anxiety, grief, burnout, and emotional overw...

We often treat time as if it automatically creates value. The longer a friendship lasts, the more pressure we feel to preserve it, even when it's become unhealthy. In this episode, I reflect on the end of a 24-year friendship and the realization that history alone is not a good reason to remain invested in someone. What began as loyalty gradually became enabling. What looked like patience beca...

Episode Summary: What happens when a song you have never heard feels instantly, deeply familiar? At fifty-three, a chance encounter with a Willie Nelson classic sparks a raw reflection on aging, memory, and how music hits differently over time. Moving from the rebellion of youth to the quiet endurance of adulthood, this episode explores the heavy reality of carrying vanished worlds inside our head...

After a long break, I’m back to podcasting... This episode focuses on my experience caring for Fred Tober, a 76-year-old local musician who was going through a lonely period... It led me to rethink community and support. I saw that strong community doesn’t depend on religious institutions, and that non-religious people often stepped up more consistently when help was needed...

Once upon a time, I chased every new gadget and app like they were tickets to the future. Now I’m wondering if this is the future I really want to live in. This week, I’m talking about how constant connection somehow makes life lonelier, how everything from music to conversation feels like it’s been processed through the same filter, and why common sense seems to have gone extinct because the inst...

Turns out “staying connected” mostly means doomscrolling, fake friendships, and handing your attention to corporations who’d sell your soul for ad revenue. I was supposed to be networking and creating. Instead, I was melting my brain one scroll at a time. So I pulled the plug. Before a hater could cancel me, I did it myself. This episode kicks off a new season where I talk about how the internet w...

A rumour says my brother is dead. I don't know if it's true. No one has confirmed it, and no one will. But the grief is real anyway. This episode explores the strange kind of mourning that comes when there's no clarity. It's about estranged siblings, unresolved childhoods, and the kind of silence that never really lifts. I had a brother. Maybe I still do. Maybe I don’t. Mentioned i...

In this episode of  Call Me Tony , I talk about the kind of loyalty that builds us up, and the kind that quietly breaks us down. Some people treat loyalty like it's a virtue in itself, but what happens when that loyalty is used to protect ego instead of truth? I share thoughts on how misplaced loyalty shows up in relationships, brands, and belief systems, and why I’ve chosen to value peace, cl...

Addiction causes real harm. That part isn’t up for debate. But what happens when the damage doesn’t stop with the substance? In this episode of Call Me Tony , I talk about how getting sober without a program didn’t make me a danger to myself or anyone else—but it sure made me a problem in the eyes of recovery culture. I unpack how many popular treatment models quietly discourage real healing, push...

She’s not the one who haunts me. I don’t miss her. I don’t long for the relationship we had. But I do keep running into the version of myself I had to become when I was with her. The one who knew how to stay quiet. The one who filtered every emotion. The one who thought being easy to love meant making himself smaller. Now that I’m in something different — something safe, honest, and mutual — I’m r...

Mother’s Day just passed, and for some of us, it’s not a day of celebration. In this episode, I open up about the complicated relationship I have with my mother. I share what it was like growing up, the moments when I thought we were finally connecting, and the painful reality of feeling betrayed by someone I desperately wanted to love and trust. I also talk about my father—the difference between...

As the anniversary of my father’s death approaches, I find myself thinking less about how he died and more about how he lived—and how he might have lived differently if he’d known how little time he had left. This episode is softer than the last few. It’s about reflection, memory, and the quiet power of knowing we don’t have forever. I talk about the kind of father my dad became near the end, how...

The Vote Is The Fight In this episode, Tony speaks to every Canadian who’s tempted to sit this election out, convinced that protest, resistance, or performative outrage will somehow be enough. Looking at what’s unfolded south of the border, this episode is a wake-up call. The rise of authoritarianism didn’t come from a coup—it came from ballots cast by people who showed up while others stayed home...

We've all heard them. "Let go of the past." "Accept what is." "Everything happens for a reason." They're offered like universal truths—phrases meant to calm us down, bring us peace, help us heal. But what if they’re doing the opposite? In this episode, Tony unpacks the hidden danger in some of the most common advice we give each other. He explains how these well-mea...

This episode takes aim at a deeply harmful belief: that cancer is something you can heal by surrendering to your “soul’s natural ability.” I unpack why that kind of message isn’t spiritual — it’s dangerous. When people suggest that fighting cancer is wrong, they’re not offering a helpful alternative. They’re blaming the sick for their suffering and encouraging others to abandon medical care. This...