Call Me Tony

Two days after my father died, I walked into a toy store and found comfort in a place I never would have expected: a giraffe finger puppet named Richard. What began as an impulsive purchase quickly became a private coping mechanism during one of the most difficult periods of my life. While arranging a funeral, supporting family members, and trying to hold everything together, Richard became a quie...

The 12 Thoughts That Trap Us When Life Gets Heavy When life gets heavy, our minds often fall into familiar patterns. We ask ourselves why we're suffering, what we did to deserve it, why nobody understands, and whether things will ever get better. In this episode, I walk through twelve common thoughts that tend to appear during periods of depression, anxiety, grief, burnout, and emotional overw...

We often treat time as if it automatically creates value. The longer a friendship lasts, the more pressure we feel to preserve it, even when it's become unhealthy. In this episode, I reflect on the end of a 24-year friendship and the realization that history alone is not a good reason to remain invested in someone. What began as loyalty gradually became enabling. What looked like patience beca...

Episode Summary: What happens when a song you have never heard feels instantly, deeply familiar? At fifty-three, a chance encounter with a Willie Nelson classic sparks a raw reflection on aging, memory, and how music hits differently over time. Moving from the rebellion of youth to the quiet endurance of adulthood, this episode explores the heavy reality of carrying vanished worlds inside our head...

After a long break, I’m back to podcasting... This episode focuses on my experience caring for Fred Tober, a 76-year-old local musician who was going through a lonely period... It led me to rethink community and support. I saw that strong community doesn’t depend on religious institutions, and that non-religious people often stepped up more consistently when help was needed...

Once upon a time, I chased every new gadget and app like they were tickets to the future. Now I’m wondering if this is the future I really want to live in. This week, I’m talking about how constant connection somehow makes life lonelier, how everything from music to conversation feels like it’s been processed through the same filter, and why common sense seems to have gone extinct because the inst...

Turns out “staying connected” mostly means doomscrolling, fake friendships, and handing your attention to corporations who’d sell your soul for ad revenue. I was supposed to be networking and creating. Instead, I was melting my brain one scroll at a time. So I pulled the plug. Before a hater could cancel me, I did it myself. This episode kicks off a new season where I talk about how the internet w...

A rumour says my brother is dead. I don't know if it's true. No one has confirmed it, and no one will. But the grief is real anyway. This episode explores the strange kind of mourning that comes when there's no clarity. It's about estranged siblings, unresolved childhoods, and the kind of silence that never really lifts. I had a brother. Maybe I still do. Maybe I don’t. Mentioned i...

In this episode of  Call Me Tony , I talk about the kind of loyalty that builds us up, and the kind that quietly breaks us down. Some people treat loyalty like it's a virtue in itself, but what happens when that loyalty is used to protect ego instead of truth? I share thoughts on how misplaced loyalty shows up in relationships, brands, and belief systems, and why I’ve chosen to value peace, cl...

Addiction causes real harm. That part isn’t up for debate. But what happens when the damage doesn’t stop with the substance? In this episode of Call Me Tony , I talk about how getting sober without a program didn’t make me a danger to myself or anyone else—but it sure made me a problem in the eyes of recovery culture. I unpack how many popular treatment models quietly discourage real healing, push...

She’s not the one who haunts me. I don’t miss her. I don’t long for the relationship we had. But I do keep running into the version of myself I had to become when I was with her. The one who knew how to stay quiet. The one who filtered every emotion. The one who thought being easy to love meant making himself smaller. Now that I’m in something different — something safe, honest, and mutual — I’m r...

Mother’s Day just passed, and for some of us, it’s not a day of celebration. In this episode, I open up about the complicated relationship I have with my mother. I share what it was like growing up, the moments when I thought we were finally connecting, and the painful reality of feeling betrayed by someone I desperately wanted to love and trust. I also talk about my father—the difference between...

As the anniversary of my father’s death approaches, I find myself thinking less about how he died and more about how he lived—and how he might have lived differently if he’d known how little time he had left. This episode is softer than the last few. It’s about reflection, memory, and the quiet power of knowing we don’t have forever. I talk about the kind of father my dad became near the end, how...

The Vote Is The Fight In this episode, Tony speaks to every Canadian who’s tempted to sit this election out, convinced that protest, resistance, or performative outrage will somehow be enough. Looking at what’s unfolded south of the border, this episode is a wake-up call. The rise of authoritarianism didn’t come from a coup—it came from ballots cast by people who showed up while others stayed home...

We've all heard them. "Let go of the past." "Accept what is." "Everything happens for a reason." They're offered like universal truths—phrases meant to calm us down, bring us peace, help us heal. But what if they’re doing the opposite? In this episode, Tony unpacks the hidden danger in some of the most common advice we give each other. He explains how these well-mea...

This episode takes aim at a deeply harmful belief: that cancer is something you can heal by surrendering to your “soul’s natural ability.” I unpack why that kind of message isn’t spiritual — it’s dangerous. When people suggest that fighting cancer is wrong, they’re not offering a helpful alternative. They’re blaming the sick for their suffering and encouraging others to abandon medical care. This...

In this episode, I reflect on why I’ve changed my mind about one of my core beliefs: that we all have more in common than we have in conflict. I used to think any two people could connect if they just tried hard enough. Now, I’m not so sure. I talk about what it feels like to watch a movement built on cruelty gain momentum, and why I no longer want to seek connection with people who openly threate...

Matt Dillahunty has influenced many deconversions—including mine. His ability to break down religious arguments is undeniable. But does his confrontational approach help the atheist movement, or does it drive more people away? Many atheists focus on the rare cases where hostility led to deconversion, using them as proof that aggression works. But what about the larger audience? What about those wh...

Since launching Call Me Tony, I’ve focused on sharing my personal experiences, stories, and reflections. I wanted people to get to know me as my friends do. But lately, I’ve realized that I’ve been holding back. I’ve avoided inserting my strongest opinions into this podcast—not because I don’t have them, but because I didn’t want to push people away. I wanted to keep things relatable. But the trut...

I used to think logic could change minds. That if you laid out the facts clearly enough, people would have no choice but to acknowledge reality. But the truth is, people don’t want logic—they want lies that make them feel safe. And I’m exhausted from trying to push back against it. Chronic fatigue syndrome has drained me physically, but the mental exhaustion of watching bad arguments win, seeing r...

Can an atheist have a God? That might sound like a contradiction, but after stepping into an interfaith community, I started questioning what "God" really means—and whether it’s possible to explore meaning, connection, and even spirituality without belief. In this episode, I share my journey of redefining meaning as an atheist. I talk about my visit to an interfaith space, my thoughts on t...

Think you’re entitled to your opinion? Think again. When I was six, my dad made me try eel before I could say I hated it. That lesson stuck with me—because too many people form opinions without doing the work to earn them. In this episode, I break down why confidence without knowledge is dangerous, how social media fuels ignorance, and why being wrong isn’t a failure—it’s a chance to learn. 🎧 Lis...

When people tell you not to ask questions, what they’re really saying is, “I don’t want you to find something that contradicts me.” In this episode, I talk about the freedom that comes with transparency. I’ve spent years putting my past in the open—not to prove anything, but because I have nothing to hide. Living in truth means I don’t waste energy managing perceptions or fearing exposure. I also...

In this episode, I reflect on the person I used to be—someone driven by harmful beliefs and behaviours—and the journey that led to my transformation. I talk about questioning my religious beliefs, taking responsibility for my past mistakes, and how embracing uncertainty and curiosity has helped me grow. It’s a story about breaking free from who I was and becoming the person I want to be.

Uncertainty in relationships is one of the hardest things for me to handle. I can prepare for almost any outcome—except the unknown. In this episode, I talk about how my anxiety drives me to anticipate every possibility, why uncertainty destabilizes me, and how clear communication and boundaries help me cope.