The Dildorks

If you’ve ever craved a spanking (as a receiver or a giver), what was it that you were craving, exactly? This week we discuss some of the psychological motivations behind our love of impact play, among other things. Primal vs. Careful | Something to Prove | Casual Swats vs. Spanking Scenes | Pain vs. Pleasure | Embodiment vs. Overthinking | Connection | Quality of Pain | Implements | Face-Slapping...

Do you like sleeping with people – not having sex, but literally sleeping? This week, we discuss the joys and annoyances of co-sleeping, and how to navigate sleepovers if you’re polyamorous or live with your parents. 10 Years! | Insomnia & Noise | Rain Sounds | Morning Conversation | Separate Bedrooms | Temperature | Conflict | “The Done Thing” | Sleep & Sex | Consensual Non-Consent | Scen...

Why is it so hot sometimes to take things slow? This week, we discuss the joys of sexual and romantic “slow burns”! What is a Slow Burn ? | Denial | Pandemic | Sustained Attention | Fun, Painful, or Both? | Non-Monogamy | Letting Things Build | Bad at Flirting – Please Be Blunt | Demonstrating Interest | Making a Move | Long-Term Relationships | Chastity & Cuckolding | Disappointments | “Yes,...

This week we’re discussing interesting fetishes from the internet, including extra-large Fleshlights, opening Magic cards naked, a straight couple roleplaying Heated Rivalry, and more! Sex with Strangers | Fraysexuality | Anticipation & Flirting | “Hotdog in a Hallway” | Loose Fleshlights | Opening Card Packs | Guys Doing “Girl Voices” | Heated Rivalry Roleplay | Prone Masturbation | Breast Ag...

Does group sex hit different in your thirties? This week, we reflect on our evolving relationships to threesomes, foursomes, orgies, etc.   Party Trick | Popular Fantasy | The Invite (2026) | Why Is It Hot? | Essay on Spectatoring in Teenage Sex & Death at Camp Miasma (2026) | Through Their Eyes | Desirability & Self-Worth | Pleasure Distribution | Who’s In Charge? | Co-Bottoming | A Different Per...

How do you maintain a vibrant sex life when tired and in pain all the time? This week Billy interviews Kate about her chronic illness, and the ways she’s used kink to manage it and feel better about it.   Fainting & POTS | Caretaking & Bottoming | Kneeling | Adaptive Products | Chronic Pain | Weed | Flexibility & Muscle Strength | Queening Chairs | Risk vs. Reward | Laundry | Energy Budgeting | Se...

Why are we so drawn to sexuality as a discussion topic and field of study, and how are people in our industry treated differently than those with more “vanilla” jobs? This week, we examine the intersections of sex and professionalism! Why Sex? | Self-Discovery & Freedom | Frivolity & Familiarity | Projection | Professionalism | Beacon of Permission | What Do You Want? | Traits | Poker Face | SAR (...

What is “competence kink,” and why is someone being good at things such a common turn-on? This week, we discuss our favorite competencies in others and in ourselves, and what makes them so hot.   Is It a Kink? | Confidence | Our Favorite Competencies | Passion | Quickness & Focus | Planning | Our Competencies | Emotional Intelligence | Soft Skills & Bottoming | Bravery of Vulnerability | Transferr...

Is real-life romance anything like a Hollywood romantic comedy? This week we’re discussing portrayals of love and relationships in fiction, and what makes a love story feel real and grounded, versus hollow and schmaltzy.   The Invite (2026) | I Want Your Sex (2026) | Relationship Movies | High Fidelity (2000) | When Harry Met Sally… (1989) | Barriers to Union | Love Triangles | The F Word/What If...

How do you maintain a friendship with someone who lives far away? We’ve done it for over a decade now, so this week we’re sharing our best advice on long-distance friendships!   Romantic vs. Platonic | Where We’ve Met Them | Two Cities | Prepping to Leave | A Reason to Talk | “Thought of You!” | Frequency & Consistency | “Let’s Be Friends!” | Group Hangs | Real-Time Communication | Unfiltered Reac...

“Meeting the parents” can be stressful for everyone involved, so this week we’re giving our best advice on it, including from a queer and polyamorous perspective!   Introducing the BF/Metamour | Grokking Polyamory | “Ohh, That’s Why You’re Like This” | When To Do It | Gender Competency | Jumping the Gun | What to Pre-Seed | Going Bad vs. Going Good | Escape Plan | When to Stand Down | Etiquette |...

We’re answering more questions about lube this week, including which ones are best for travel, which drugstore lubes are actually decent, whether you should bring your own lube to a sex party, and more!   Dill Pickle Lube | Travel-Friendly Lubes | Uberlube Good to Go | Good Clean Love Almost Naked | Astroglide Silicone | Astroglide Spray ’n Glide | Good Clean Love Hint of Mint | Judging Someone’s...

This week, Kate and her wife mb interview Jessie Nelson , inventor of the SoleHole , a new foot fetish toy for couples that Kate recently reviewed . Jessie told us all about how he designed, prototyped and launched this innovative toy!   Mobility Issues | Artistic & Electrical Background | “Aha” Moment | Prototypes | Stretchy Band | Tightness | The Name | Balldo | Claustrophobic Mask | Launch & Re...

Lubricant is a basic part of sex for many people, but there are actually a lot of considerations that go into choosing a good one. This week, we discuss our experiences with lube, and give advice on using it!   Our First Lubes | System JO | Bottle Design | Initial Apprehensions | Blossom Organics | Must-Have Accessory | Spit as Lube | Textural Differences | Sliquid Silk | Sliquid Organics Gel | Sl...

Hope your Pride month has been lovely so far! We’re celebrating by discussing some of our favorite queer media and what makes it feel authentically queer.   Queer Friends | Sex Representation | Sexual Communication | Talking About Being Queer | Homophobia & Coming Out | The Tragedy of Heterosexuality by Jane Ward | Leviticus (2026) | I Saw the TV Glow (2024) | Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma...

We’ve got some interesting new fetishes from the internet to discuss this week, including jetsetter rimjobs, faux pregnancy, women with apples for heads, and more!   Cunnilingus & Airplanes | Mile High Club | “ Dating a Porn Star ” | “Happy Boners” & Wedding Planning | Public Pregnancy Play | Roleplaying as Historical Figures | Pussy Degradation | Headless Women Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork...

Happy Pride month, everybody! This week, we discuss our history with Pride, our current feelings on it, and tips for newbies – and we also recommend some of our favorite gay movies.   Year-Round vs. One Month | Our Pride Feelings | Self-Expression | Body-Positivity | Queer History & Art | BloodSisters (1995) | Word is Out (1977) | Framing Agnes (2022) | P.S. Burn This Letter Please (2020) | Pride...

This week, we’re answering listener questions on a variety of topics, from squirting to piercings to fetishes!   TMI | Penile Squirting Study | “ Gush ” by Kate Sinclaire | Pierced Dicks | AB/DL | Regression & Play | Blog Post on Diaper Play | Duelling Penises | Public Sex Locations | Fetish, or Me? | Ace-Spectrum Fetishists Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron to s...

Pet play is a popular kink that has spawned many interesting subcultures, so this week we’re talking about our own experiences roleplaying as cats, dogs, and more.   Kittens & Bunnies | Headspace | No Need to Speak | Primal Play | Physical Limitations | Dignified vs. Gross/Wild | Animal Archetypes | Power & Autonomy | Pigs | Horses | Jungle Cats | Turtles | Fantasy Creatures | Whiskers (1997) | Un...

Makeup is an important part of many people’s self-expression, both in and out of the bedroom – so this week, we discuss how cosmetics intersect with kink, gender, queerness, and more!   Eyeliner | “Wanna Do Our Makeup Together?” | Origin Story | Self-Care Ritual | Artistic Expression | “I Like You Better Without Makeup” | Male Gaze | For You vs. For Others | Deciding on a Look | Queers vs. Straigh...

Learning about your sexuality is a lifelong journey, so this week we discussed the process of acquiring/discovering kinks that are new to you and exploring them for the first time.   Discovering vs. Creating | Recurring Themes | Taboo & Novelty | Expectation vs. Reality | Craving Newness | Resistance to Change | Why Is It Hot? | 101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do | Starting Solo | Beginner-Friendly...

Happy belated 4/20! We’re celebrating as we always do: by getting high and answering listener-submitted hypothetical questions about sex, dating, and masturbating.   The Last Prisoner Project | Time Travel | Tim Travers and the Time Traveler’s Paradox (2024) | Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie (2025) | About Time (2013) | Groundhog Day (1993) | Palm Springs (2020) | Time Travel Sex Ethics | Mee...

This week we’re discussing metamours, i.e. our partners’ partners – partly because Kate’s recently been on some dates with one of hers!   Defining ‘Metamour’ | Kitchen Table vs. Garden Party | Comparison | Disclosure | Privacy vs. Secrecy | Growth & Risk | Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell | What to Share | Advice from Partners | Metamour-Like Relationships | Different Facets of Oneself | Meeting a Metamour C...

This week, Billy interviews Calvin Hauer , a sex-positive therapist based in Minneapolis, about being out as queer/kinky and how that can affect the therapy process for both clients and practitioners.   Ethics of Self-Disclosure | In Community with Clients | Being Out as Kinky | Erotic Transference & Counter-Transference | Unequal By Design | Kink-Aware vs. Kink-Experienced | The Leather Couch | K...

We’re busting more sex toy myths this week, including the infamous medical origin story of the vibrator, orgasm guarantees, and a dearth of toys for dicks!   Vibrator Invention Myth | Hysteria (2011) | The Technology of Orgasm by Rachel Maines | Buzz by Hallie Lieberman | No Toys for Dicks? | Only for Single People | Orgasm Guarantees | Different Toys | “Anything’s a Dildo If You’re Brave Enough”...