The Dildorks

There are countless myths and misconceptions about sex toys, and this week we try to set the record straight on a few of them!   Vibrator Numbness | Vibe as Scapegoat | Rendered Obsolete | Shere Hite Book | The Hite Report | Bigger = Better? | Vibrations on the Nose | Stretched Out | Toy Cleaner Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron to support the show and get access...

Is large penetration a goal worth aspiring to? This week we discuss our evolving feelings on fisting and other forms of XXL penetration!   Current Feelings | Can Anyone Be Fisted? | Journey vs. Destination | Fist vs. Fingers | Njoy Eleven | Vixen Gambler | Hand Weakness/Pain | Emotional Effects | Guts Rearranged | Penis Size | Unicorn Collaborators Hand Harness | Fist-Shaped Dildos | Vixen Randy |...

There are always interesting new fetishes to discover! This week we’re discussing some unusual kinks we’ve heard about lately, from latex-sheathed blowjobs to cringe masturbation to being “friendzoned.”   “Chasing” Someone Unavailable | Hands | Condom’ed Blowjobs | Skyn Condoms | Flavored Lubes by Sliquid , Wicked , & LubeLife | Being Friendzoned | Cajoling a Boyfriend Into Sex | Denial Kink | Cri...

Giving advice can get tricky when you’re polyamorous (or just prone to messy romantic drama), so this week we’re offering more advice on giving advice! No Sex on a Date | Will Not Advise | Criticism vs. Praise | Parenting Advice | Authority & Influence | Advising a Partner | Too Much Bias | Mad at a Metamour | People Who Don’t Take Advice | Sex & Kink Coaching Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork b...

We love giving advice, so this week we’re advising you on advising – how and when to give helpful advice, the best ways to ask for it, and the common mistakes we’ve made in these areas.   Different Dataset | Context | Solicited | Vulnerability | Commands | Asking Questions | Mental State | Pointing Out Patterns | Asking for Advice | Phrasing the Ask | Emotional Validation | Empathy or Strategy? |...

Happy (belated) Valentine’s Day! This week we celebrated by answering listener questions about love and romance.   Crying on V-Day | Romance vs. Friendship | Curiosity & Merging | Codependency | “One True Love” | Dean Spade Essay | “Be Mine” | Polyamorous Valentine’s | Social Media | “The One That Got Away” Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron to support the show an...

We used to talk about spanking all the time, but is it still one of our favorite kinks? This week we discuss our current feelings on impact play!   Jump-Scared by Bruises | Spanking vs. Beating | Jillian Keenan Videos | Bastinado | Random Punching | Topping | Evolving Relationship | The Artist & the Pervert | Non-Consensual Spanking | Not a Punishment | Thuddy vs. Stingy | Chronic Pain | Implement...

This week, we chat with dating coach/columnist (and former pickup artist) Harris O’Malley, a.k.a. Doctor NerdLove , whose work we’ve admired for a long time! He gave us some advice on flirting, dating, conversational skills, and more.   Pickup Artistry | Dark Night of the Soul | Fear of Rejection | What Even Is Flirting? | Bad at Flirting – Please Be Blunt | Neurodivergent Nerds | Rules vs. Vibes...

Romantic yearning can be deeply painful, but it’s also kinda hot and fun. This week we discuss our experiences with this unique emotion in contexts like long-distance relationships and unrequited love.   Is It Good? | General vs. Specific | Desire | Defining ‘Yearning’ | Emotional Sadomasochism | Long-Distance | Enjoying It | Creative Outlet | Incels | Heated Rivalry | Gendered Tropes | Men’s Emot...

This week, we discuss our favorite sexual fantasies of 2025, the sex & dating goals we set for ourselves last year, and our new goals for 2026.   Fantasies | Sex Robots | Work Sex | Forced to Be Bored | Safer Sex | Anonymous Sex | Femdom & Dorky Virgins | Toronto vs. New York | Double Penetration | Sex Nerd Workspace | Sex For Fun | Communicating Better | Socializing | Sex Therapy School | Queer M...

Happy new year! This week we’re reflecting on the biggest changes in our sex & dating lives in 2025, the sex toys we loved most, and the weirdest sex we had all year.   Rest & Movies | Overall Changes | Hookups | Libido Troubles | Horny 4 Intimacy | Living Together | Low-Dose Naltrexone | Emotional Energy | Monogamous Crushes | New Things | BJ Buddy | Random Act of Muff Dive | Belly Stuff | Finger...

Happy holidays to those celebrating! We’re discussing objectification kink again this week, through a seasonal lens.   Holiday Stress | Giving People as Gifts | Sex Coupons & Cards | Re-Focusing | Manhandling | Bored & Ignored | Sexualizing vs. Objectifying | Previous Holiday Episodes ( 1 , 2 , 3 ) Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron to support the show and get acc...

What does it mean to be ‘objectified’ in a kink scene, and how is that different from the other, less-hot ways one can be objectified? This week we’re discussing the nuances of this complex kink.   Nonconsensual Objectification | Marginalization & Trust | Just a Hole | Empathy | What’s Hot About It? | Quiet Mind | Authentic Desire | The New Topping Book | Favorite Object | Praise | Environment & V...

This week we dive deeper into kinky-on-vanilla relationships, discussing how to tell if someone might be vanilla, how to explore kink outside of a newly-opened relationship, and whether fantasy and porn can be good substitutes for IRL kink.   Language & CBT | How to Spot Vanillas | Kinky Flirting | In Love With a Vanilla Person | Opening the Relationship | Polyamorous Kinksters | Fantasy & Porn |...

Can a kinkster be truly satisfied dating a vanilla person, and vice-versa? This week we discuss bridging the gap between kinky and vanilla partners!   Dating Apps | Time & Place | Kinky Linguistic Cues | Defining “Vanilla” | Sexual Hobbyism | Our Experiences with Vanilla People | Willing vs. Want | Explaining Why | Rejecting Vanillas | Don’t Settle | Beginner-Friendly Resources | 101 Kinky Things...

Can it be romantic to get spanked, stepped on, and bossed around? Absolutely! This week, Billy interviews Kate about how her submissiveness is deeply entangled with her romantic desires.   Depth & Vulnerability | Are They Linked? | Intrinsic Desire & Earnest Belief | Submissive Romantic Desire | You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For | Being Seen | Masochism | Kinksters’ Communication | Self-Assu...

This week we’ve got a whole new batch of interesting fetishes from Reddit to discuss, from trees to heavy metal music to illusionists.   Making Them Work For It | Dendrophilia (Tree Sex) | Ecosexuality | Salon Capes | Sawed in Half | Organs | Elmer’s Glue | Paramedics | Heavy Metal | Moshing | Pool Table Cunnilingus | 101 Kinky Things Audiobook Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch...

What is self-confidence and why does it matter? This week, we’re unpacking what it means to feel confident, why it’s hot, and how to cultivate it.   Fake It Til You Make It | Contextual Confidence | Being Bad At Things | Perception vs. Feeling | Self-Deprecation | Self-Knowledge | Boundaries | What It Feels Like | Certainty | Competence | You Are Someone’s Favorite Flavor | Values | Why It's Hot |...

This week we continue our discussion of heterosexual culture, discussing straight wedding traditions, gender reveal parties, the kinkification of straight gender roles, and more.   Clear Communication | Power Imbalance | Come Together | Different Playbooks | Wedding Traditions | Happily Ever After | Gender Reveal Parties | Celebration | Kinkifying Straight Roles | Formative Fears | Unnegotiated Ki...

To celebrate Halloween, this week we’re discussing some of the scarier aspects of heterosexual culture!   Dating Straight People | Not Gay | The Tragedy of Heterosexuality | Does Straightness Exist? | Cultural Differences | Default Script | Anti-Pleasure Pressures | How to Do Nothing | Mono-Normativity | Media Models | Combativeness | “Hall Passes” | Opposite-Sex Friendships | Love, Inc. | Gendere...

Regularly-scheduled “check-in” conversations are one way to keep a relationship strong – so this week, we discuss our favorite ways of checking in, and how we manage anxiety that may come up around it.   As-Needed vs. Regularly Scheduled | Solutions vs. Breakups | “Ruining the Vibe” | Us vs. the Problem ( The Monster Under the Bed ) | Managing Anxiety & Avoidance | Check-In Card Deck | Positive Re...

This week, Kate and mb interview the brilliant Tuck Woodstock , host of the Gender Reveal podcast and co-editor of the hilarious new anthology Sex Change and the City ! We couldn’t help but wonder: Does Sex and the City ‘hold up’ for modern viewers, especially queer and trans ones?   Which Character Are You? | Which Character Is Trans? | Why SatC ? | 2 Trans 2 Furious | Watching SatC Now | Queer &...

How has our relationship to service kink changed as we’ve gotten older, done more therapy, and moved in with our partners? This week we discuss our currently thoughts and feelings on service.   Identity? | Feeling Useful & Impressive | Work & Resentment | Tradwives vs. Kinksters | Living Together | Cocktail Genders | Majordomo Duties | Praise & Acknowledgment | Dream Scenes Credits: Music by PROTO...

People believe all kinds of nonsense about anal play, so this week we’re busting myths about butt stuff. Makes You Gay | Homophobe Ick | (Un)Natural? | Masculinity | “ Sides ” | Pain & Numbing | Sphincters | Permanent Damage | Pregnancy | Loophole | Good Feminist | Tops Should Bottom | Always Up For It | Shit Happens Credits: Music by PROTODOME Artwork by Addison Finch Become a patron to support t...

Are some sexual labels more cringe than others? Do our public labels differ from our private ones? And what’s up with people who don’t think we should use labels at all? This week, we’re continuing to dive deep on sex & gender identity labels.   Tired & Old | “I Don’t Like Labels” | “Cringe” Identities | Gynosexual | Bicurious | Sapiosexual | Public vs. Private Identities | Letting Go of Labels |...