Says Who?

It’s Thanksgiving week and Maureen and Dan are preparing by not really preparing because neither one of them is really *that* into Thanksgiving.  Make it what you want! Do your own thing! Fill your shoes with mashed potatoes! Jump up and down on the table! Steal your neighbor’s car and go hunting for cranberries! It’s YOUR day! It’s also the day of reckoning for some of the great patriots of Janua...

Maureen is reporting in from a beach in Mexico, where the air is soft, the surf is soothing, and the trees are full of iguanas.  She has been writing in the sun. Dan has been on top of the news—and there’s good news! Danny Fenster has been freed from jail in Myanmar, Steve Bannon is heading in, and Alex Jones is about to lose all his money! It’s fantastic stuff. Dan is happy. Maureen is blissful....

Dan's six-year-old has gotten vaccinated and Maureen's en route to Mexico! Things are CHANGING SaysWhovia, and it's OK. Things change, that's a lesson Dan's little one just learned from Sesame Street. But one thing that hasn't changed is that Ted Cruz is an asshole, and on today's episode we'll learn what happens when the king of Chunky Soup takes on a beloved franchise that has looked out for kid...

Exciting news this week! Maureen got her window fixed! And she went into a Bed, Bath, and Beyond!  Dan wants to tell her about the news, but she needs him to know all about it. It was so spacious! So full of concrete!  Dan is persistent. There is a very important gathering happening in Texas—the Q Crew are down in Texas, waiting for the return of JFK Jr. Which is weird. But it gets so much weirder...

Look, this episode goes off the rails pretty much from the start, but you’re about to hear the tale of Young Dan and his Magic Coat. Plus, vax for kids, not so much for cops. And, Facebook. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Dan wants to talk to Maureen about some things going on in the news, like the fact that Steve Bannon is in hot water. Maybe. Possibly. If everyone gets together and decides to do something about all the crimes and whatnot. Maureen is interested, but there is some stuff she would like to tell Dan as well, like how the number six is magic. Remember January 6th? And all the other things that go with...

SaysWhovia, the months are getting jumbled and the holidays are colliding and all anyone really wants to do is get through it. Because let's face it: what is time anymore, really when you think about it? It's time to ask big questions, SaysWhovia: What day is it again? Have they minted the trillion dollar coin yet? Will Maureen ever get a second elevator? Is Dan's kid ever getting a vaccine?  We'l...

There’s a trillion dollar coin out there. Someone’s got to steal it. Why not Maureen and Dan? cue suspenseful drumming Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Content warning: It gets spicy in this one, and it’s all Dan’s fault. He’s sorry. Far too much is said about Trump’s lil’ tooter. Yeah, it’s pretty much covered in the content warning. Buckle up and keep your hands and arms inside the ride at all times. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Oh, hello! Dan and Maureen didn’t see you. Dan is hiding in his basement, writing emails. Maureen is stuck in an elevator. Both of them are trying to help their families outrun COVID. Because, COVID! It’s Still Here! Dan has a lot to say about testing and tracing and AP History. Maureen is still really just trying to get in or out of an elevator. Will she ever leave New York City? Can Dan convince...

FIVE YEARS! Yes, you read that right. Says Who is celebrating FIVE YEARS of this EIGHT WEEK podcast! It’s time for celebrations! Parties! Picnics on the square! Dancing! Except Maureen has had A Week, and she needs to tell you all about it. ALL about it. This may take a while. Plus, Rudy gets drunk and Trump hangs out with a cult. What else is new. HERE’S TO FIVE MORE YEARS! Says Who is made possi...

Dan and Maureen are out of the news business this week. It’s bad. Instead, this Says Who is about culture! Fun things! Things that make Dan and Maureen happy! At least, it will be once Maureen is done explaining all the things she has to do to get ready for Oscar’s green card interview in the morning. So much paperwork. So many details. What did they serve at the wedding? Was there cake? There wer...

Welcome to the Says Who Good Times Fun Hour, which is what we’re calling it this week as everything is A Lot and people are starting to get a bit crispy around the edges. So let’s keep it light and fun! Let’s talk about Rudy Giuliani eating soup! Because he does not eat it like other people. He eats it Rudy Style. And it’s gross! You won’t like it. Also, let’s talk about medicine for horsies, beca...

Pretty sure Maureen forgot what was discussed on this episode. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Dan and Maureen are back after last week’s absence! Dan has returned home to Chicago. His teenager has returned to school. We’re going back out, except where we’re all going back in!  No one has any idea what’s happening! Except for two people: Rudy and My Pillow Mike. Rudy is now on Cameo, and that is a lot of what today’s episode is about. Rudy will greet you for $400! Would you like a greeting...

Greetings from the road, SaysWhovia! Dan is in the wilds of Colorado. Maureen is in Philadelphia. Both are super alarmed by the fact that no one seems to be wearing masks! They do not like it! There’s been news this week—classic, SaysWho type news. Rudy Guiilliani is having a bad time. He’s broke. He’s in trouble. He’s down to the cheap booze and his pants keep falling off. Trump is no longer taki...

Dan is out on the road, not in a hot car. Maureen is up in the cool mountains of Massachusetts.  Did politics happen this week? Probably. Dan and Maureen do not want to know.  For a blissful moment, they are Somewhere Else doing Something Else. Both have chosen good times to be somewhere else, because things are going great, and nothing is happening with COVID. Or everything is! No one knows. This...

SaysWhovia! Dan is on the road, which in this case is literal: he's recording from the back of his car again. But it's OK! He's under a tree, what could go wrong.   Meanwhile, Maureen and Dan have been reading the new Trump tell-alls that have been coming out. Today, let Maureen and Dan tell you about them so you don't have to read them! Maureen started "Frankly, We Did Win This Election: The Insi...

It's really summer now SaysWhovia, but Dan and Maureen are gearing up for... leaving? Is that still a thing? That is if covid variants and government bureaucracy let them go. But before they leave town, how about discussing the various Trump legal clowns who have been playing clown games this week. Sure, of course there's Rudy because there's always Rudy, but there's enough clownage to go 'round t...

It’s the 200th episode! Yes, the little podcast that was a coping strategy that was never supposed to exist like this celebrates its 200th episode!  To mark the big 200, Dan and Maureen answer your questions! Learn about Maureen’s very flexible policies in terms of where she will go. Find out what young Dan did for fun. Why are they still doing this? Do they like it? Can they ever stop? What is go...

It’s the Says Who, One Day Late Edition! Maureen has had a wild couple of days, which threw the S.S. Says Who off course by 24 hours. Everyone in her house has been barfing, either literally or metaphorically. But she isn’t the only one sailing rough seas. The Good Ship Rudy has been rolling to and for on the waves. Poor Rudy! He must be so seasick! Luckily, his son and first mate, Andrew, is here...

Really really sorry. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

It’s pub day for Maureen! Her new book is out! She seems . . . tired. Maybe a little confused. But Dan is here to perk her up by telling her about other new books. This does not work as well as he plans. Meanwhile, the ranging debate about which Trump child is least loved rages on. Then Maureen and Dan reminisce about their old jobs. Dan I can’t even remember what we talked about. Says Who is made...

July 6th, 1978. Four teenagers went into the woods one night. They did not return alive. What happened in Barlow Corners? Who put the counselors in the Box in the Woods? Want to know what happened? You can find out by reading The Box in the Woods. Visit maureenjohnson.com  for more information. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

It’s under a week now until Maureen’s book is out, and Dan wants her to talk about it. Maureen is not so sure. Dan helps her by telling her tales of his own book experiences. Dan has a story to tell. Meanwhile, slash-desk is no more. RIP slash-desk, we barely knew ye. Where does a guy go when he doesn’t even have his slash-desk anymore? On the road! And apparently, to New Jersey! If a Trump goes t...