If I Speak

*We’ve got merch! The If I Speak Baggu bag is ethically made, comes in two colours and is available now from shop.novaramedia.com* Ash and Moya descend into the guilt vortex for a conversation about family, responsibility, and parents who need to be parented. Plus: advice for a special one with a workplace crush. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

*We’ve got merch! The If I Speak Baggu bag is ethically made, comes in two colours and is available now from shop.novaramedia.com. Support the show and find fellow Special Ones.* On this episode, Moya presents an intrusive thought from a Special One about why some women struggle to express their anger. Should our ‘outlaw emotions’ be brought to the surface? Plus: help for a listener wh...

*We’ve got merch! The If I Speak Baggu is ethically made, comes in two colours and is available now from shop.novaramedia.com . Support the show and send a signal to fellow Special Ones.* In this episode, Moya and Ash talk about what to do with their impossible desires. Plus: Britain’s drinking problems, and and advice for a gay man whose female bestie has ditched him. Got a problem? ifispeak@nova...

Is marriage like an island, or more of an open house? Ash talks about state-sanctioned relationships with memoirist Jeremy Atherton Lin, whose new book Deep House: The Gayest Love Story Ever Told, is out now. Plus, advice for a listener whose money worries aren’t shared by her partner. Are you in big trouble? Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Moya and Ash deal with your dilemmas, including a daughter who wants to give away her inheritance, a scared mum facing up to her prejudice, a singleton wondering if moving home was a mistake, and a renter whose housemate is a total pig. Are you in big trouble? Email us: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Moya and Ash wonder what’s up with kids these days, thinking about parenting, advertising, social media and anxiety. Plus, advice for a bereaved listener who’s furious with her stepmum. Send your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Moya has an intrusive thought about our need for certainty and Ash responds with an idea about how the internet has polarised our thinking. Plus, advice for a singleton with avoidant tendencies. Send your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Ash and Moya face up to all the ways their smartphone has warped their minds. Plus, advice for a trans woman struggling to interact with the world in the wake of the Supreme Court ruling. Come and see If I Speak in London on 21st May! Final tickets are available now from Dice . Send your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

What do straight women find attractive? Too many men think the answer is ‘big muscles’ says Ash, who has a big theory about sensuality. Plus: what to do when your boss is a bigot. Come and see If I Speak LIVE in London on 21st May! Join Ash, Moya and special guest Monica Heisey – comedian and author of Really, Good Actually – at EartH in East London, followed by a social. Tickets are available fro...

Moya has a big theory and you’re not going to like it: most of us would rather be told how to live our lives by someone else than work it out ourselves. Could it be? Plus, advice for a broken-hearted student. Seats for our live show in London are going fast! Join Ash, Moya and special guest Monica Heisey – comedian and author of Really, Good Actually – at EartH in East London on 21st May. Ge...

Ash and Moya confront their feelings after a bad fortnight for feminism, from Katy Perry in space to the Supreme Court’s anti-trans ruling. Plus: advice on divorcing parents and compulsive exercising. PSA: We’re going live at EartH in London on 21st May! Special guest TBA! Tickets are available from Dice . Send your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Ash speaks to author Natasha Brown about the big questions raised by her acclaimed second novel Universality,  a ‘whydunnit’ mystery about identity, class and how we (re)invent ourselves. Plus: a dilemma about selling your soul. PSA: We’re going live at EartH in London on 21st May! Tickets are available from Dice . Send your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Ash and Moya answer a mystery question and wonder if our quest for a life of convenience was a mistake. Plus: advice for a listener dating a much, much older man. PSA: We’re going live at EartH in London on 21st May! Stay tuned for tickets next week. Music by Matt Huxley.

Moya and Ash offer advice to a special one who’s lost everything after renovating a house with their ex. Plus: what if some of us are ‘relationship people’ while the rest are better off alone? We’re now yapping on TikTok! Follow us @ifispeakpod . Send your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Ash has an intrusive thought that she thinks Moya can help with: make me fun again! Plus advice for a listener navigating the identity politics of the student council. We’re now yapping on TikTok! Follow us @ifispeakpod Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Nicola Dinan returns to the show to talk about her second novel, Disappoint Me, and respond to Moya’s question about how to deal with a partner’s past mistakes. Plus, dilemmas about lip filler and bottom surgery. CW: Contains discussion of sexual assault. We’re now yapping on TikTok! Follow us @ifispeakpod Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

[Updated audio! Please refresh, redownload and/or clear your cookies for fixed version] Moya has a bone to pick with Ash about Minority Rule and the conversations sparked by her book tour, while posing the big question: why is it so hard to form your own opinions? Plus: what to do when a newly sober friend starts drifting away. We’re now yapping on TikTok! Follow us @ifispeakpod Send us your...

Moya and Ash discuss the uses and abuses of self-care culture and its roots in Black feminism. Plus: how to get over homesickness. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Why did Stormzy delete his pro-Palestine posts just before unveiling a Happy Meal tie-in with McDonald’s? Ash asks Moya if big artists are all just businesses in the end. Plus: how to deal with a delusional friend. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

When did we all start ‘getting the ick’? And why does it mainly seem to be women who get it? Ash and Moya unpack the gender politics behind the ‘ick-course’. Plus: when is the right time to have the big money chat with your partner? Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

One whole year of If I Speak! Moya and Ash celebrate with an #AMA, tackling your questions on career growth, love songs, role models, Irish politics and whether they’re friends in real life. Plus: listener feedback on last week’s “return of the slur”. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Ash and Moya respond to a mystery question about femininity with a conversation about desire, agency and sexual politics. Plus: advice for a listener tangled up in their in-laws’ finances. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

After hearing the R-word on a comedy podcast, Moya offers an intrusive thought about the limits of language policing. Plus: what to do about a horrible housemate. Send in your questions for If I Speak’s birthday AMA episode on 18th February! ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Ash and Moya discuss women’s changing faces on screen and the intensifying obsession with ageing. Plus: tough love for a Special One who’s getting in their own way. Email your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Ash and Moya tackle a mailbag full of dilemmas, including a committed couple arguing over money, a daughter considering cutting off her dad, and a student struggling to overcome the trauma of rape. Plus: Ash blushes her way through your emails about gay porn. CW: suicide, rape. Resources: https://thesurvivorstrust.org/support-in-your-area Email your dilemmas to ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Ma...