If I Speak

Ash and Moya get stuck into your dilemmas. Featuring: a POC friend whose new boyfriend votes Reform, a male coworker who’s gone from supportive to creepy, a woman who’s struggling to think before she speaks, an independent woman who’s dreading suburban life with her boyfriend, and an environmentalist weighing up a job in big tech. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxle...

* Last call for our show at Crossed Wires in Sheffield this Saturday, 4th July! Final tickets: https://crossedwires.live * A brush with an old enemy brings up big questions about letting go and moving on. What does forgiveness really mean in a secular society? Is punishment ever the answer? Plus: advice for a special one who fears they’ve outgrown their 15-year relationship. Send us your dilemmas:...

* We’ll be at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July! Final tickets: https://crossedwires.live * ‘Tis the season! Moya and Ash explore the etiquette of the modern wedding, from cringey hen do to lavish ceremony to nightmare groupchat. And how does anyone afford it?! Plus: are we expecting too much from single straight men? Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music...

* We’ll be at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July! Final tickets: https://crossedwires.live * Moya has a big theory about why wealthy elites seem to have stopped caring about culture, which leads to wondering if addiction and dependency are the best framework for understanding modern society. Plus: when you’re body-shamed by a much younger hook-up. Send us your dilemmas: if...

* Come to see us at Crossed Wires in Sheffield on 4th July! https://crossedwires.live * Moya tunes into the background hum of money worries. Does our upbringing predict our attitude to finances? And does more money always equal more freedom? Plus: when to let go of a long-term romantic hangup. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

* Come to see us at Crossed Wires in Sheffield on 4th July! https://crossedwires.live * Ash talks to Moya about falling birth rates and the ‘crisis of association’ that’s stopping people from connecting with each other. It’s a big theory that touches on trust issues, getting offline and the coming backlash. Plus: a dilemma about financial infidelity. (Sorry about the banging. It’s builders outside...

The girl boss is back – and this time she’s working class, mixed race and fully therapised. Moya asks Ash how we should make sense of Skims entrepreneur Emma Grede and the success of her book, Start With Yourself. Plus: which fantasy archetype are you? Come to see us at Crossed Wires in Sheffield on 4th July! Tickets available here: https://crossedwires.live Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaram...

Moya and Ash answer a mystery question about why so many people are going ‘no contact’ with their parents. How do our elders understand this epidemic of estrangement? Plus: How to deal with a jealous ex-boyfriend who lives down the road. Come to see us at Crossed Wires in Sheffield on 4th July! Tickets available here: https://crossedwires.live Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music...

Ash went to the Songkran water fight in Thailand and now has a few questions about health and safety culture. Where do we draw the line between personal safety and freedom to take risks? Plus: should you chase a holiday romance? Come to see us at Crossed Wires in Sheffield on 4th July! Tickets available here: https://crossedwires.live Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt H...

Ash and Moya are reunited and ready to answer a mystery question, inspired by Lena Dunham’s memoir Famesick: do we need more women mentors? Plus: a homesick ex-pat struggling to stay in contact with his family. Come to see us at Crossed Wires in Sheffield on 4th July! Tickets available now: https://crossedwires.live Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

With the manosphere back in the headlines, we’re republishing our 2024 interview with the authors of Clown World – the book that exposed Andrew Tate’s cult-like grip on young men around the world. Jamie Tahsin and Matt Shea explain how they infiltrated Tate’s inner circle and what they found inside. Ash and Moya will be back from their well-earned break next week. Send us dilemmas: ifi...

Moya answers your dilemmas with former Vogue agony aunt Shon Faye. Featuring: a graduate abroad who might have a saviour complex; a gay man who doesn’t know if his relationship is real; a stripper who wants to tell her parents the truth; and a relationship breaking down over Israel. Plus: how does Shon always hit her deadlines? Follow Shon on Substack: https://shonfaye.substack.com/ Got a dilemma?...

Moya is joined by doctor-turned-novelist William Hunter to talk about what it takes to abandon your career for something new. What are the signs it’s time for a change? What if you quit everything but still feel bad inside? Plus: what to do about bigoted tweets from the past. Will’s debut novel Sunstruck is out in paperback on 25th June. Got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com Join us at Cro...

A special announcement from producer Chal. Ash and Moya are on their holidays but will be back next Tuesday! Take part in our audience survey here to be in with a chance of winning: novara.media/survey

Moya has a big theory about success: we love the idea of it, but hate people going on about it. Did Timothée Chalamet’s naked ambition cost him an Oscar? Plus: what to do about a envious colleague. Got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July! https://crossedwires.live/ Music by Matt Huxley.

Moya and Ash react to Louis Theroux’s documentary on the manosphere. The antics of YouTubers like HS and Sneako seem designed to amuse teenage boys and offend the normies – but when does the mask become the face? And who are the women who flock to these influencers? Plus: advice for a man who doesn’t want to dump his emotions on women. Got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com Join us at Cross...

Ash has a big theory about why so many aspects of modern life feel like masturbation: private, self-centred, disconnected. They discuss the objects and subjects of sex, and Moya makes a confession. Plus: advice for a special one who’s dating her first communist. Got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July! https://crossedwires.live/ Musi...

Moya and Ash wonder what’s attracting young British ex-pats (and influencers) to cities like Dubai and Bali. Is emigration the new face of aspiration? Plus: a dilemma about being stuck in a dead-end job – or so it seems. Got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July! https://crossedwires.live/ Music by Matt Huxley.

Ash wants to cultivate a better relationship with nature, but Moya detects a deeper issue around burnout, and the lure of the countryside for busy city dwellers. Plus: advice for a listener who’s lost sexual interest in her partner. Got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July! https://crossedwires.live/ Music by Matt Huxley.

CONTAINS WUTHERING HEIGHTS SPOILERS! What else would two literature lovers (and actual Brontë experts) be talking about this week but the film of the moment. Is Jacob Elordi too white? Is Margot Robbie too old? How much adaptation is too much? Plus: tough love for a special one in a situationship. Still got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on...

It’s a dilemmas special! (Because the Special Ones have a lot of problems.) Ash and Moya answer your emails about: two student housemates who don’t really like each other, a friendship ruined by the return of a toxic ex, a depressed boyfriend who won’t get help, a good friend with a possibly evil job, and a romantic reunion that seems like a good idea… Plus: casting Hollywood stars as Greek gods a...

We’re 100 episodes old! To celebrate, our audience of Special Ones ask us anything, from the personal to the political to the completely potty. What do Ash and Moya love and hate about each other? Whose greatest skill is cod psychology? And do they ever get anxious after sharing on the podcast? Got a dilemma? Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4t...

Moya has been breaking the habit of a lifetime by choosing to stick with her choices rather than quit. She asks Ash how to trust your gut when it comes to leaving or staying, whether it’s a job, friendship or romance. Plus: would you use Chat GPT to name your baby? Next week it’s our 100th episode – so ask us anything! Email ifispeak@novaramedia.com Join us at Crossed Wires festival in...

Have we become reliant on having our feelings validated instead of taking valid criticism? Ash and Moya offer their own strategies for worrying less about what other people think. Plus: how to deal with an ex who’s found God and turned rightwing but is still hanging around. Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available from https://crossedwires.live/ now!...

Ash has a big theory about what makes someone into a proper adult – and it’s less about age or wisdom than the experiencing of caring for someone else. Plus: can you make a casual hook-up turn serious? Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/ now! Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.