Zero Doinks: World's Weirdest Chicago Bears Podcast

Episode 4 of Hard Knocks is now out for our enjoyment and the boys of Zero Doinks break it down for you like only they can. Can HBO Max find other storylines besides Flus, Caleb and the Ferret King? Maybe. Kind of. We’re almost living in a world where the football is real, and we’re here to get you through the next few days. Plus a quick look at the B1G as the Illini and Gophers kick off this week...

Episode 3 of Hard Knocks might be the best of the season thus far. We hope you jump right in after you’ve watched, so you can listen to the often perverse perspective of two middle-aged Bears fans who are just trying to survive until Week 1 of the 2024 season. Thanks for listening.

After HBO Max finally decided to upload this ep an hour late, which put Dan Doinks an hour past his evening feeding time, we took notes on Ep2 and bring it to you with spoilers left and right. The bottom line with this episode, in our humble opinion - protect Theo at all costs. And cut Velus Jones yesterday.

If you haven't watched Ep1 of Hard Knocks yet, please revisit our insanity shortly thereafter. This is clearly the place to get a unique take and an instant Hard Knocks review of the first episode of Chicago Bears "Winds of Change.” It was an absolute doozy. Dive right in for our unorthodox perspective. #canadianeagle

After a hiatus, the boys of Zero Doinks are back as the Bears begin camp in Lake Forest. Caleb looks amazing already and there is no chance our predictions of 11-12 Bears victories will fall short. Injuries are scarce, the vibes are hot and the Bears are all the way back. Dan expresses some nerves about the upcoming Hard Knocks season, of which we are planning immediate reaction ZD episodes. Dan P...

Dan Doinks avoided schedule leaks all day and he's ready for all 17 Bears games to be teased to him one by one this week. Will Bill have the beloved at 17-0? Will Dan shock us all with over-the-moon optimism? How will Caleb fare against NFC North foes this year? We dive so so deep and put our sizeable necks on the line with hot takes and predictions as only we can. This is the best time of the...

Caleb Williams is officially a Bear and he has already taken over the team and city. He's our weird QB and it is about time we have a dude who does not give a F. With his new WR weapon Rome Odunze, clearly this new era cannot and will not fail. The boys of Zero Doinks chat through each of the five new Bears rookies, with a hat tip to The Average Cheese's Peter Jones and his draft guide, as...

Bonus ep of Zero Doinks as the Illini march into Boston for their first Sweet 16 appearance in nearly 20 years. Will Bill Doinks be there in the flesh to witness a potential run to the Final 4? Odds are decent. Plus Dan Doinks pops his head in from Florida to give his take on the Justin Fields trade and the Bears current state of being all the way back.

We are sitting here, as free agency is beyond hot, waiting for a big move from Ryan Poles and the Bears. Depth is great (that's what she said) but where is the star power? It's time, Bears. Wow us. Also, does anyone want Justin Fields? Are we still Team Caleb? Plus, March Madness is just around the corner. Thank you for hanging with us for SIX SEASONS.

We didn't die, we just needed time to digest the reality that the Flus is back. At least there's a new offensive playcaller in the house now in Shane Waldron, and at least he has had success in the league. But what's the plan for 2024 and beyond? We look at how free agency could shape Ryan Poles's options in the draft and we finally pick a QB lane, all of these weeks later. Plus wi...

Incredibly, the Bears land the number one pick for the second-straight year thanks to the 20/20 vision of GM Ryan Poles. Is Poles going to ride with Matt Eberflus, Luke Getsy and Justin Fields in 2024? Or will the opportunity to clean house be too enticing? Perhaps Week 18 at Green Bay, with a chance to ruin their season, will carry some weight one way or another. Happy new years, Doinkers.

Well, that weekend of football was quite disheartening. We try and find words that make us feel better about the present while keeping an eye on the near and long future. We also try and figure out what Tiny Tim's deal is. Plus tons more. Thanks for listening, it's still worth it we think.

This is an absolute squirrely one, though we mix in actual Bears talk. The Bears are actually giving us hope and a vision for what they can develop into. They somehow find themselves one game out of the wild card yet still would be drafting fifth (and first, thanks Carolina) if the season were to end today. Dan and Bill are jazzed for what is going to be a big game at Cleveland. Win on Sunday and...

The Bears had the week off but the NFL rolled on, with most local fans focusing on the Panthers continued cold streak, inching us all closer to the No 1 pick in 2024. People are getting nervous about Jordan Love possibly being really good? Dan returns to the lab this week, as does Rick Feelsmen with his hot hot picks. Bill pays his #hat game debt to Frank, thanks to a disappointing Illini football...

That was a Matt Eberflus masterclass, wasn't it? Are we done with him? I think we're done with him. Justin Fields and the Bears looked pretty good against Super Bowl contender Detroit until that smug bastard had to make some difficult changes. Bill Doinks talks all about it today because Dan is away from the show for holiday reasons this week. Enjoy Bill's dream scenario of what the Be...

We are hopeful that Justin Fields will be back this week because we are sick of watching Tyson Bagent play (no offense). Dan might have severe diarrhea this episode so stay tuned if that backfires at some point. We wonder about the bedroom activities of the Muppets and their puppeters. Plus much more.

Dan and Bill do not link up "live" for this episode but we bring you all sorts of audio nuggets to get you oh so hyped for Bears-Panthers. We're getting a little concerned that the Bears are never going to play Justin Fields ever again. Thank you to Rick Feelsmen and Greasetank Frank for your contributions this week.

Tyson Bagent and the Bears came back to earth on Sunday night against the Chargers but that feels like years ago. We focus more on the acquisition of Montez Sweat from Washington and one of us is very confused about the timing and logic behind it. Plus tons more, including fingering the coach de jour to replace Matt Eberflus as well as another riveting Keep An Eye On Dan. The return of Greasetank...

The Bears, shockingly, have won two of three, this time coming behind a solid performance by rookie QB Tyson Bagent. Can the Bears make it three of four this Sunday night against the Chargers? Vegas says no. We say .... ? Plus the debut of our coaching segment within a segment, the return of Keep An Eye on Dan, a fresh tune plus tons of surprises along the way.

With Justin Fields now having a busted right thumb, what more is there to even talk about for the 1-5 Bears? So we decided to not talk too much Bears. Enjoy, maybe? 0:00 - 02:51 - Apologies to Cowboy Junkies. 02:51 - 03:45 - What's on tap tonight? 03:45 - 29:06 - Bears-Vikings Review. Fields is hurt. Bagent is whatever. Do we need to start looking toward 2024? Dan is tested again in Keep An Ey...

After nearly a full calendar year of losses, the Bears have finally won a football game and the boys of Zero Doinks don't know what to do with themselves. Is this sustainable? Did Dick Butkus have to die for our sins? We discuss the beauty in Washington and look ahead to the Vikings coming to town on Sunday for what could lead to an actual winning streak. Plus tons more, including Rick Feelsme...

I mean, how in the world did the Bears blow that one? Still curious where the next win will come from as a short week awaits this Thursday at a decent Washington squad, led by Jan 6th mastermind in DC Jack Del Rio. This episode is a weird one, apologies in advance. Hope, at the least, you enjoy the intro song courtesy of Doctor Dan Doinks and Daughter of Bill Doinks.

The sun hasn't come out yet this week as we were reminded that the Bears are a football team that continues to rip out our soul, week after week, year after year. Is there any hope for any of us, being that it's only going into Week 4 of the 2023 season? What are we even hoping for at this point? Is JF1 ruined completely? Is anyone worth keeping around? How are we here already? Plus fun an...

As Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs await our 0-2 Bears, some tough questions have to be pondered. One of us is ready to take a stand on something, one of us is not. We do not spend too much time on the Bucs game and instead move onto the next opponent who we hope to god the Bears can actually hang with and not embarrass the whole fandom for once. Lots of surprises along the way and hopefully some e...

As much as we'd love to ignore the Bears-Packers Week 1 game, and whatever Luke Getsy drew up after months of preperation, we'll talk about it, but we'll focus more on our experience regarding the joint-smoking professional chef next to us at the tailgate, and other observations. After another contest of 'Keep An Eye on Dan," focus switches quickly to Tampa, which has a guy fr...