Zero Doinks: World's Weirdest Chicago Bears Podcast

We are choosing to move forward, after briefly acknowledging another heart-wrenching defeat and a week's worth of new worries and questions, but remaining steadfast and positive. This is a new era, and we must take direction from our fearless leader benjohnson without hesitation. And we must defeat the flaccid Lions. All this, plus top-10 Illini football talk and much more.

Thank god week one has arrived and we can watch the official arrival of the benjohnson era. What do the boys consider a successful season for the rookie coach and second-year QB in 2025? Is JJ McCarthy actually scary the more we learn about him? Who is the 3rd biggest celebrity to come out of Justin Jefferson's hometown and why does he have one of the world's weirdest names? So many things...

The Ben Johnson Era is here and we are avoiding the noise that surrounds camp. Dan and one of his 14 daughters visits Bears practice but doesn't know what he's looking at, besides George McCaskey. Full disclosure: nearly the majority of this episode is dedicated to a new segment about being on CPap machines. We're getting older, but not more mature. Go Bears, we love you.

What does the Chicago Bears 2025 schedule release have in common with Dave Coulier in a movie theater? Find out on this episode of Zero Doinks as the boys tick through all 17 obvious wins, starting with Monday Night Football in Week 1 against JJ McCarthy and the Vikings. Thanks for listening, we love you and want to bathe you.

After Ryan Poles spent the weekend listening to the board it is clear that Ben Johnson's first draft has his beautiful mitts all over it. We recall how we initially felt on Thursday with the Colston Loveland pick versus how we feel now after days of hot, intense research. So many new Bears to wrap our minds around, as well as a preview of who we think our beloved will be opening the 2025 season ag...

Hang the banner, the Bears have won the 2025 offseason, there is no way this will fail. The offensive and defensive lines are shaping up beautifully, the draft is looming and Ben Johnson already has hall-of-fame influence in Halas Hall. The Bears are back? We discuss the roster additions to date and look ahead to who we want to see the Bears to target in April's draft. Plus March Madness is ab...

Zero Doinks is back for Season 7 and we have never been more full of life. So much has changed since S6 ended with the golden foot of Cairo Santos breaking the hearts of annoying Packers fans. The dream head coach candidate surprisingly said yes to Kevin Warren and the Bears braintrust. Ben Johnson’s coaching staff is expensive and impressive. Virginia McCaskey is dead. Dick Jauron? Also dead. But...

An 11 game skid against Green Bay ended on Sunday and made us feel hope for the first time in months. Caleb is clearly the man, and now he needs a leader. Hopefully it’s Ben Johnson, if Chicago does not Bears it up. Our season finale awaits your ears.

Will the Bears losing streak end in 2024? We doubt it. Tonight we wrap up the 2024 version of Zero Doinks and will return after a new coach (and GM?) is hired. But there's a lot to get to, just maybe not a lot of it revolving around the Bears. We love you, we want your Christmas to be so merry and bright. Go Bears, eventually.

Are we simply fated to a life of bad Bears football? Thomas Brown ended any hope of a dead coach bounce and now we have to suffer through one more month of one of the least enjoyable seasons ever. Let's get Caleb and Rome some sweet stats to close the year, at least. 

Eberflus has been fired and we never want to think about him again. We talk about what an idiot that guy was and where we'd like the Bears to look next, under the leadership (?) of the oft car-washing Kevin Warren. Dan has an obsession with bees and other winged things this episode. Will Thomas Brown ever lose as Bears interim head coach? We doubt it.

Thomas Brown and Caleb Williams. Should we keep this tandem together? Caleb looks  unbelievable. Is Flus fired yet? He just keeps finding new ways to mess up, it's comicable at this point. Bears are inches away from getting a Top 10 pick next year. Six games to go. Join us, as we prepare for the Lions game. They're going to murder us. Also we love Onebar and Lupagus.

We realize you probably don't want to think about the Bears right now but this ep is going to change your mind. As luck would have it, Dan and Bill magically discover they have a similar personal issue occurring right now, and they are about to go on a similar journey together. That is more important than Santos getting his worm-burning kick blocked by the Packers and everyone becoming sunk in mis...

Three OCs in 11 games seems like something bad franchises do. Haven't we done this show before? Maybe twice? Shane Waldron was terrible but is there any doubt Green Bay is going to put the negative spotlight back on Flus and his horrible tenure? Just protect Caleb, FFS. And let's have some fun with the return of Keep An Eye On Dan.

Rick Feelsmen took over Twitter Spaces on Election Day and his predictions for what's to come for America and the Chicago Bears are a must-listen. Plus maybe he'll slide in his three hot picks for this weekend? Special thanks to Elon Musk for his Spaces technology providing speaking guests an involuntary + thick lisp from time to time. Happy (?) Election Day 2024.

Welp, that Cardinals effort suggests the Flus has lost the locker room. The fan base already hated him but the Hail Mary probably sealed his fate and there's no real reason to keep him around anymore. The Illini football squad keeps kicking Bill Doinks in the noots. What are good teams? Can someone please introduce them to us?

Honestly, this episode might be the medicine you need after Sunday if you are a long-suffering Bears fan. Bill has been buried in familiar feelings of despair since Washington's Hail Mary landed and he's unsure if he's ready to talk about it. Can Dan (and/or Grover) cure him? Right on cue, Rick Feelsmen went 0-3 with his hot picks, the Illini got their doors blown off by top-ranked Oregon and ther...

Football in Chicagoland is so hot you’re going to need to guard all of your unmentionables as we go into a weekend of huge games. Jayden Daniels better not sit this one out, we’ve been looking forward to Caleb going toe-to-toe with the No 2 pick since Week 1. We’ll warm up your trousers for the headline NFC matchup and take Bill’s temperature about the No 20 Illini’s underdog hopes at top-rated Or...

The Bears are riding high and taking a three game winning streak into the bye. The boys of Zero Doinks are taking a mini-bye with them, with the voice of Bill Doinks guiding you home this week. Rick tries to stay hot, the B1G has huge games ahead and we all get to sit back and watch one, and hopefully two, NFC North teams lose this weekend. Caleb is the greatest QB of all time.

Two game winning streaks aren't super common around here. Three games? You'd have to go back to 2020. We're ready for one of those again. Are the Bears? Let's preview a big swing game in London against the Jags, after recapping a sensual win over Carolina. Plus tons more, including the 10-5 Rick Feelsmen.  #zerodoinks #rickfeelsmen #hamms #grover #goldencock #cornishhen #matteberflus #beefs #retur...

The Bears are back to .500 with no signs of ever going back under. Dan Doinks was on the field on Sunday pregame for the Rams game, and has stories for days about his experience. Thank god he and B are alive. There is no question the Bears are back, possibly all the way, after Sunday's win against the Rams, especially with the Red Rifle looming for his return to Soldier Field this weekend. We'll g...

That loss still hurts days after, but we will talk you through it, loyal listener, and hope to make you crack a smile or two along the way. So many special guests this week, including Grover, Rick Feelsmen x2 and so much more. At least Illini football is all the way back? Thank you for bearing through a very familiar start to the season. We do love Caleb and stand with him. Shoutout GreaseTank and...

There is nothing to worry about. The Texans might end up winning the Super Bowl and the Bears took them down to the final minute, on the road, in front of a very sweaty Mike Tirico and Cris Collinsworth. A four game winning streak starts this weekend in Indianapolis as Caleb and the offense are close to clicking unlike anything Chicago has ever seen. Plus, the Illini football team is ranked and po...

The Bears have never lost a game in the 2024 season and there is a chance they never will. Rookie QB Caleb Williams had a shaky debut, and Dan Doinks was there to see it. Is he concerned or has he already shaken it off? You'll hear from him and ZD's resident gambling shark Rick Feelsmen. You won't hear from Bill Doinks, at least directly. But he'll be back next week. We love you.

We have been waiting our whole lives to have a quarterback worth getting excited for, worth putting our hopes into with the idea there will be a payoff. Finally, the end of the beginning starts on Sunday with Caleb's first real game. But first, we'll wrap a bow around the Hard Knocks experience as Episode 5 was pretty great, at least in the mind of Bill Doinks. Dan takes us on a trip throu...