Your Adult Child: How to Raise Your Kids so You Don't Have to Raise Your Grandkids

Don’t back off of asking your kid to contribute to the business of being a family. For parents, it’s natural to use the term “they’re becoming independent.” Have you used this term before? But maybe your experience is the opposite – where you feel like your child is more and more DEPENDANT on you. Understanding the difference between independence and interdependence can make a significant differen...

Do you or your child struggle with the weight of your feelings? There is more than one type of sad :( -Clinical depression (if this is you, professional help is recommended). -Conditional "downness" as we sometimes call it. Parents can have a huge influence on their kids (and helping them manage their feelings and sadness). Some tips to keep you ears out for as you listen... move with (n...

Lots of people pivot when it comes to business, but what does it look like as a parent? Pivots usually occur because there's been a shift in the economy, or a company is no longer producing something customers like -- a lot of times making it feel like they're going backwards. You may feel like this as a parent. Things change as you kid grows from a young child to an adult kid, which usual...

Let your kid make hard decisions that will change their life...  Here's a TRUTH BOMB for you: A child will never get through something hard in a way that matters to them significantly unless they have to choose to do it. Two Questions: 1. What's keeping you from loving your kid to the point of letting them be uncomfortable enough to learn? 2. Twenty years from now, what will your kid be more...

A parent can step into a new (or changing) situation their family is going through in a way that helps them grow closer together and come out stronger.  What's it like when you're family all of a sudden changes? Whether it's divorce, a death, or some other way, families go through things that cause the need for adjustments and make it necessary to step into/transition to the new way of life.&...

Support your young adult when they (or you) are stepping into new roles. What is your intent and what’s the outcome you want to have for your kid when it comes to transitioning into new roles? How do you communicate about it? And your kid could ask the same question for themselves. There are challenging aspects within a relationship when these types of conversations need to happen, but they can be...

Have you had a child who's gone through a divorce?  What are some of the things your kid might be experiencing if they're going through a divorce? How can you be there to support them if it's new territory for you as a parent?   Although the number of young adults getting married is not increasing, the number of young adults getting divorced is. Parents are familiar with the topic of div...

Maternal intuition is one of the greatest gifts a mother can give to her child. But how do you transition from using that motherly instinct of nurturing a baby, to using it to be a wise mother for your young adult? You can play different roles in your adult child's life, and how you communicate with them makes all the difference when it comes to helping the relationship thrive.   Reach o...

Is it a challenge to find your over 18-year-old motivated?  How do you feel about their motivation? What do you find yourself doing or how do you find yourself reacting?  If there were things you could do to promote and encourage motivation in a healthy way, would you want to know what they were? Listen to what Kade and Sarah have to say about it.  Reach out or contact... -Visit the...

Maybe you've experienced some of these before, maybe you're unaware of them in your parenting.  Wherever you are or whatever your experience has been, here are some pitfalls that parents run into while trying to help their over 18-year-old child.  Reach out or contact... -Visit the website Structured Therapeutic Housing in Cedar City | Outpatient Therapy Service (irongatetherapy.com) -Em...

Difference between WHAT and WHY? The difference is pretty significant. Which one do you usually focus on as a parent? What are the whys you can choose that will make you a safe place for you kid to come to? The good news… you can choose it any time, you can re-choose it, and you can choose something else. You don’t have to treat a sense of why like a buried treasure that you have to go out and dis...

How many of you have kids that have a phone and/or social media accounts?  How many of you have kids that spend a lot of time in front of their screen?  Helping your kid understand and manage their use of screens in their life can be one of the most hopeless endeavors as a parent, but things can be done to help the situation.  Reach out or contact... -Visit the website Structured Th...

In the last twenty years, the percentage of people who go to church in the United States has been around 47%.  Do you know what the percentage was for sixty years before that? It was 70%. Almost three quarters of the population attended church.  If you think that’s crazy, it gets even lower for younger people (Millenials and Gen. Z) dropping all the way to 36%. There could be any number...

Here's a simple way to support your kid... ask them this question: On a scale from 1-10 how's our relationship?  Using their answer to help your relationship requires some Accountability, Honesty, and Humility.   These three things are required for anyone who wants to make changes in their life, and these three things are required for anyone who wants to help someone they care about make...

Thoughts—Feelings—Actions What kind of stories are you telling yourself when things don't go right? Everyone has stories they tell themselves when they're trying to understand or interpret a situation. Most times, especially when it comes to family relationships, we tell stories that include the WORST-CASE SCENARIO.  Don't let these thoughts rule you or your relationships!  Ask the right...

What’s it like living with someone who always needs to be right? The need to be right all the time always comes at the expense of a relationship because others never feel SAFE or HEARD.  Every parent wants their kid to have capacity! Nothing destroys capacity in a kid more than them not having a space where they can be safe and heard; you're always hurting your kid when you hold on to the nee...

Find moments of clarity as a parent as you help your kid feel safe and heard when they’re struggling to make good choices. What do you feel when your kid isn’t making good choices? What are the most common reactions of parents when their kid isn’t making good choices? What are your reactions? Maybe sometimes you jump in and try to try and get them to take action. It’s good to get your kid to act,...

What's it like when you have a son or daughter who struggles with pornography? Parents may feel like your kid's life is over, kids may feel unbelievable amounts of shame. It's a relief to hear about people's experience with pornography and how they were able to overcome it.  Mason, one of Shauna's sons, struggled with pornography throughout Jr. high and High school and has learned many things...

"I wasn't thinking about [life as an adult] because I was so stressed"  Hear the story of a young adult's transformation over the course of a few months. Will, shares insights he's learned on his journey of growth and change over the past few months, and what that does for his life now and his future.  Do you know what's causing stress in your kid's life? How are they handling it? Reach...

Have you found yourself exhausted recently? What do you do when your gas tank is on empty but there are still things to do? So many people (in recent conversations) have brought up how tired they feel, how much they want to just be done with things that are going on in life. There’s not a one-stop solution for this kind of situation, but there are some underlying principles and questions that can...

Help your young adult kid have the most amount of confidence for their life. Confidence comes through the opportunity to act and accomplish things. As a parent, don’t protect them from hard situations life can throw at them, and sometimes you even need to intentionally plan these situations for you kid. It takes a willingness to be uncomfortable on behalf of your kid’s discomfort Tell your kids th...

Worry is not useful!  As a parent, sometimes it feels like you're supposed to worry -- like it's your job, that it's useful, so you're justified in it -- when it's about your kid. But worry is hardest on those around you because it robs your relationships of CONNECTION.  However, there are things you can do to replace worry with things like Faith, Trust, and Courage. Reach out or contact...

You come into this world on an inhale, you leave this world on an exhale.  Breath is one of the most powerful tools we can use to regulate emotions and our nervous system when we feel triggered, overwhelmed, or even sluggish.  There are three breath techniques that Shauna shares and you can use for any situation.  Reach out or contact... -Visit the website Structured Therapeutic Hou...

Communicate with your kids in a way that breads confidence in and for decisions. Sometimes we struggle with decision atrophy, but you should be more afraid of not making a decision than making the wrong one. Someone who chooses to not make a decision (because they’re afraid of making the wrong one) is making the worst decision. A big truth when you’re worried about making the wrong choice… God is...

What does it look like and how does it feel when your kid doesn’t respect you? Is it just a fact of parenting that you’re going to be disrespected? Get to the point where being disrespected is a small part of your experience with your kid. Maybe, as a parent, you feel like you’re always disrespected–here are some strengths you can focus on and practice to help change that in your life. Reach out o...