You Love & You Learn Podcast

Do relationships inevitably become boring after the “honeymoon phase” ends? If we’re feeling bored in our relationship—is that a sign something is wrong? I explore these questions and how to strike a balance between finding excitement in a relationship while also knowing that excitement 24/7 isn’t the goal. If you’re ready to confidently navigate relationship anxiety… Apply for private coaching he...

With all the buzz of attachment theory, it’s easy to think being securely attached is “better” and being insecurely attached is “worse.” But what if we were able to shift this perspective and bring a kinder, gentler approach to attachment theory? In this episode, I sat down with Elizabeth Gillette, LCSW, who is an attachment specialist that supports her clients in developing secure ways of relatin...

Transitions and change can bring up a lot of emotion. Whether it’s moving in together, getting engaged, moving to a new city (or country), or changing jobs…there are stages we go through in times of transition. In this episode, I sat down with Ela Topcuoglu, a transformational Life Coach who works with people to make the most of life transitions by helping them become more aware of the psychologic...

“Is it relationship anxiety…or are we incompatible?” is the #1 question I am asked as a relationship anxiety coach. In this episode, I share 2 frameworks to consider when answering this question, why answering this question can be so challenging, and important reminders to keep in mind if this question brings up a lot of fear for you. To explore this topic further: Check out the “is it anxiety or...

Relationship anxiety has so many parallels with what it means to be human. It’s an invitation to lean into uncertainty, discomfort, and change. It’s an invitation to build more self-trust, acceptance, and contentment (peaceful happiness). It’s an invitation to practice releasing expectations, taking responsibility, and explore our values. All of these are not only part of relationship, but part of...

Have you ever judged your partner for making small mistakes like leaving their towel on the floor, or not doing something the way you asked? It doesn’t feel great (I’ve been there, too). In today’s episode, I sat down with Ivy Miller, a certified Mindset & Relationship Coach, to discuss: why we don’t tolerate mistakes in others how nitpicking small mistakes can affect our relationships the ant...

Is it wrong to find someone else besides your partner attractive? In today’s episode, I explore: the impacts of religion and romanticism on the message of “only having eyes for our partner” the shame and guilt that can come up from finding someone else attractive my new beliefs on attraction that feel helpful, not anxiety inducing an exercise you can do after the episode to help you determine if y...

Have you ever nitpicked your partner’s physical appearance and felt so guilty for it? You are NOT ALONE! In this episode I address a community-submitted topic: hyper-fixation on “small, superficial, or physical traits about my partner, like teeth, hair, posture, or mannerisms.” Hyper-focus on our partner’s physical appearance can cause us to feel shame, so I discuss how to shift out of the shame a...

In this episode, I sat down with Dr. Russell Kennedy, author of award-winning book Anxiety Rx. We talk about how our emotional wounding (which he calls alarm) affects anxiety and what to do about it. We cover: the difference between anxiety of the mind and alarm of the body where our anxiety and alarm stems from if you need to know what’s happened in your past in order to manage anxiety and alarm...

In Part 2 I’m sharing the behind the scenes of getting engaged and how I felt during and after. I answer community questions like “did you expect it?” “were you anxious during or after?” and “did you feel disappointed during the proposal?” — Additional resources: Join Deconstruct the Doubts digital course here (instant + lifetime access) Click here to join the waitlist for the next cohort of Beyon...

ICYMI — I’m engaged! In this episode, I’m answering community questions like “how do you know you’re ready to get engaged?” + “what did your pre-engagement discussions look like?” I also share more about my own transformation from being scared of marriage to feeling ready to move forward. Be sure to tune in next week to hear the proposal story, how I felt during and after the proposal, and my post...

This week I share 5 books that have changed my life and the way I view love and relationships. Each book has meant so much to me and I dive into some of my favorite concepts + quotes from each book. I cover: Mating in Captivity Esther Perel → this changed the way I view passion in relationships and transitioning out of the honeymoon phase The Wisdom of Anxiety by Sheryl Paul → validated my experie...

In this episode, I got a chance to speak with Emma Wilson, the Turning 30 Coach about how relationship anxiety can be impacted as we near/are in our 30’s. We cover: the instruction manuals we each create that dictate our lives and how we think life “should” look in our 30’s how to parse out what it is that you want vs. what is a societal expectation Emma’s story about identifying incompatibilities...

This is a vulnerable episode where I share my experiences and insights on the journey towards self-love, what I’ve changed my mind on when it comes to self love, and my intentions for practicing self-love moving forward. — Additional resources: Join Deconstruct the Doubts digital course here   (instant + lifetime access) Click here to join the waitlist for the next cohort of Beyond the Doubts...

This episode is a masterclass of how to shift out of the compulsive patterns of relationship anxiety and ROCD and switching to acting and living from our values. In this episode we discuss: What are compulsions and why do they happen in our relationships How to stop compulsive actions, and compulsive thoughts Should you have sex if you don’t feel like it? Instead of trying “fix” and “heal” - do th...

In today’s episode, I share 6 reasons why I felt discontent in my relationship—6 ‘blockers’ of content (peaceful happiness) in my relationship. I also share 6 practices that have helped me reduce discontent, and enhance feelings of content in my relationship. APPLY FOR THE PIONEER COHORT OF CULTIVATING CONTENT HERE: https://www.youloveandyoulearn.com/cultivating-content-mastermind Kristin Neff Ted...

In this episode I sit down with Stephanie Rigg to talk about attachment and how our attachment styles can affect how we show up in our relationships. We cover: an overview of the four different attachment styles Stephanie’s compassionate definition of what attachment is and is not if it’s helpful to label yourself or your partner’s attachment style how to use your attachment style to benefit you a...

In this episode, I sit down with Alex Bishop of @forloveweheal. He’s a registered counsellor who helps others with a wide range of personal and relational challenges work towards a more fulfilling loving relationship with their partner and themselves. In this episode we cover: defining Internal Family Systems + ‘parts work’ as a therapeutic method breaking down which inner parts of us may be at pl...

In this episode, I address questions like: “Did I fall out love with my partner?” “What if I feel love toward my partner, but don’t feel IN LOVE with my partner?” “What if we fall out of love in the future…then what?” “If you fall out of love…can you fall back “in love”? I explore what the differences are between being “in love” and “love” and give you new ways of thinking about love that can expa...

TW: this episode mentions sexual assault and rape. In this episode I sit down with Marina, the Compassionate Somatic Coach to talk about somatic work (working with the body) and how our body affects how we show up sexually.      We cover: why compassion is important in our journey to connect more with our bodies and our sexuality why nervous system regulation is so important in a re...

In this episode, I sit down with Relationship OCD expert and founder of Awaken Into Love, Kiyomi LaFleur, to talk about resistance and how it shows up in our journey to heal relationship anxiety/ROCD. We cover: three common ways resistance shows up in the healing journey how to view resistance with more compassion (and even to celebrate it!) how to begin working with resistance self-empowerment an...

This week I answer the question “is it possible to move past ‘the ick’ in my relationship?” ‘The ick’ being moments of being turned off, disgusted, or feeling like something your partner does is cringe-y. I cover: what ‘the ick’ is where ‘the ick’ comes from why it is often showing up answering “is it possible to move past ‘the ick’”? In this week’s episode I mention having 1 private coaching spot...

This week, I answer the question “How do I deal with negative comments from friends/family about my relationship?” I cover: Who may take family and friends’ comments more seriously and why Things to keep in mind when hearing family and friends’ comments about your relationship 5 ways to respond when you get comments from family or friends about your relationship In this podcast, I mention my two w...

Can you be single and in a partnership at the same time?! I sit down with Natalie Kennedy of @AnxiousLoveCoach to discuss how to embrace your independence while in a relationship. We discuss: what it means to “be single while in partnership the benefit of spending intentional time together or intentional time away from your partner how Natalie and her husband lived separately for a month after jus...

In this episode I sat down with author Nate Klemp to talk about a new approach to relationships and marriage (as seen in his book The 80/80 Marriage) and how to bring more acceptance and mindfulness to your relationship and life. — Nate: Learn more about the book The 80/80 Marriage: https://www.8080marriage.com Sign up for the free weekly newsletter: https://www.8080marriage.com/subscribe Follow @...