You Love & You Learn Podcast

If you are the partner of someone with relationship anxiety, this episode is for you.   If you have relationship anxiety and want to be able to ask your partner for more intentional support, this episode is for you!   Thank you to the help of the You Love and You Learn community on Instagram for this episode. I received dozens of answers to the question “how does your partner help you na...

If you have ever felt like your healthy relationship is boring and the “vibes are off” – this episode is for you! I sat down with Dr. Morgan Anderson, a clinical psychologist, relationship coach, and host of the “Let’s Get Vulnerable” podcast.    In this episode we discuss: Why Morgan rejected, sabotaged, and avoided available love for so long What emotional availability looks like ...

I loved this conversation because time and time again this comes up in the work I do with clients (and it was a pattern in my own relationship). I sat down with Charisse Cooke, who is a London-based relationship psychotherapist with over 20 years experience. She helps individuals, couples and groups develop relationship skills and define love in a way that has meaning for them.    In thi...

Do you ever notice yourself feeling good, then suddenly an anxious voice pops up saying “wait, shouldn’t I be worrying about something?” or “if I don’t worry about this–how will I figure it out?”   I’ve been here, and I used to sabotage most of my good feelings by jumping straight back into worry. In this episode, I explore: Why fear can try to block us from experiencing joy What patterns to...

In this episode, I share my personal journey from getting engaged (June 2023) to planning my wedding (in May 2025). Thanks to great questions from the You Love and You Learn community…I discuss:   How to enjoy your engagement phase before and during wedding planning What I’ve learned about my personality during this time  How to accept the moments when you felt stressed or overwhelmed by...

You asked…we’re answering! Alexandra Schelling (of @toolboxforlove on Instagram) and I polled our communities for questions about navigating our significant other’s families, and we’re answering the questions in a two-part episode. Today’s episode is all about navigating relational dynamics with our partner’s family. Should we set boundaries with our partner’s family? Should they? How to navigate...

You asked…we’re answering! Alexandra Schelling (of @toolboxforlove on Instagram) and I polled our communities for questions about navigating our significant other’s families, and we’re answering the questions in a two-part episode. Today’s episode is all about what’s happening in our OWN mind when it relates to our partner’s family. Expectation vs. reality (and the anxiety that causes), insecuriti...

his episode is a long-time coming, one I have been so excited to record and share with you because I wish more people knew this information! Menstrual cycles can have such a huge effect on how we’re showing up throughout the month, and if we don’t know what to expect…we can feel a lil’ crazy or guilty about the changes in energy, mindset, and emotions.    So I brought Ash McDonald, Thera...

I was pleasantly surprised when I listened to a podcast with James Sexton, a divorce lawyer who’s seen the ups and downs of couples for 25+ years in his career and has a lot of wisdom to share from it.    Today’s episode focuses on a key thing he sees that leads to relationship breakdown: 1. Not knowing what you want or need, and 2. Not knowing how to express what you want or need. I exp...

This simple reframe has helped me (and dozens of my clients) in moments of relationship anxiety: zooming in when you’re thinking too big-picture, and zooming out when you’re hyper-fixated on something in the present moment. I explain why this matters in your relationship and specific examples of zooming in and out to help manage your anxiety.   If you’re loving the podcast… JOIN THE YOU LOVE...

This topic is LONG overdue, and that is feeling unworthy and how this affects our life and the ways we show up in our relationships. I’m thrilled to have had the chance to speak with Sarah Baldwin, who is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and expert in the field of trauma resolution.    We explore reasons we feel unworthy, how to become kinder to ourselves, how to reconnect with our bo...

Are you clear about what your needs are in a relationship? If so, do you communicate them openly with your partner?  If you answered no to either question, you’ll enjoy this conversation. Our partners cannot read our minds, especially if we are not even sure what we’re expecting in the first place, so it’s important to take time to think about these things.   To explore this, I chatted w...

Common questions I am asked are “what if I never had a honeymoon phase?” and “is it bad if I’ve had relationship anxiety/ROCD from the beginning of my relationship?”    My two cents is how long we’ve had RA/ROCD is less relevant than what is contributing to the RA/ROCD…and that’s exactly what I explore in this episode! What factors may have contributed to RA/ROCD being there from the beg...

Have you ever felt bored in your relationship and worried that something is wrong? Maybe you’ve wondered “is this normal, shouldn’t things feel more exciting than this?” I’ve been there, and this has been a trigger I have struggled with myself, so I wanted to explore it more.  In this episode, I explore: 3 reasons why healthy love can feel boring What inner work you can do if you feel disappo...

It can be so hard to trust ourselves when there is so much relationship information and advice out there. Even well-meaning friends and family can add their two cents when sometimes, we really didn’t need it!   In this episode, I sat down with a client of mine who shares her journey of trusting her intuition in her first serious relationship. We also explore the fear of being attracted to oth...

Today we’re diving into something that has a big impact on our overall mental health and wellbeing; our vagus nerve. Amanda Armstrong, neuroscience and trauma-informed anxiety & depression coach (and now AUTHOR!) is back on the podcast to help walk us through how to improve our mental health by working with our vagus nerve - the nerve that connects our brain and body, and regulates our nervous...

In this episode, I address advice like “a relationship should feel mostly positive / easy / joyful in order to be worth it”, and “if the balance swings negative or if the association is that the relationship is difficult or complex then it’s a red flag.”   If you’ve ever wondered “shouldn’t this be easier?” – this episode is for you!   The article I mentioned in the podcast is here: http...

There is so much to learn from the Gottman Method of therapy, which is based on 40+ years of relationship research thanks to the work of John and Julie Gottman. I wanted to discuss how we can apply some of these key lessons to build better relationship habits, and was grateful to have a conversation with Anna Aslanian, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who’s a certified Gottman Method thera...

‘Healing’ and growth are usually looked at as good things. But what happens when it becomes something we’re doing to try and be perfect and fix all the ‘bad stuff’?   If you feel like you ‘should’ be on a healing journey and growing, or else you’re doing something wrong and not going to live up to your ‘potential’ – this episode is for you. It’s a set of reminders that I come back to often, e...

Perfectionism has been a big theme on the podcast, but it’s sooooo needed! I truly think perfectionism is one of the biggest impacts on how we show up in our life and relationship, so this episode is for all my high achievers who put the bar so high for themselves and others around them. I sit down with Kayla Licari, a physician associate turned coach that helps perfectionists conquer overwhelm in...

Does it ever feel like your mind just won’t stop throwing thoughts at you? In this episode, I sit down with relationship coach Rebecca Ore to talk about how to ‘master your mind drama’ and take your power back from anxious thoughts and feelings.  She shares her own journey of going from feeling insecure in relationships to valuing herself and feeling worthy through simple, tangible tools and...

Our partners and relationships are constantly reflecting things back to us, and if we’re willing to ‘look in the mirror’ we can learn so much. One way we can learn from our relationship is to notice when we’re projecting; “when we see the self in the other.” In this episode, I normalize projecting (you’re not doing something ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’), give examples of projections in my relationship so you...

Do you feel like you’re constantly comparing your relationship to others around you? Maybe you see a couple break up then worry you’re doomed to break up too. Or you see another couple doing something “better” than you and feel like your relationship isn’t good enough. In this episode, I chat with relationship anxiety coach McKell Kristen about how to shift from being triggered about other people’...

I’ll be happy when… I find The One my anxiety goes away my partner acts this way my partner looks just right my feelings are what I expect them to be these thoughts go away We place so many rules on ourselves and our partners, and sometimes expect the perfect conditions to be in place in order for us to be happy or be content. In this episode, I break down why this “I’ll be happy when” trap isn’t...

In this episode I got to sit down with Kristin Neff, a pioneer in self-compassion research who has been recognized as one of the most influential researchers in psychology worldwide. We talked all about her findings about self-compassion and how creating a more compassionate relationship with ourselves influences how we show up for others. This episode covers: the 3 pillars of self-compassion how...