You Love & You Learn Podcast

I know many listeners have felt the urge to escape a perfectly good relationship. This can show up as questioning if you're making a mistake, if you're truly in love, or if you're missing out on something better. I went through it too, so just know you are not alone. I am bringing back OCD and Anxiety coach Robert James to share his journey with Relationship OCD and to unpack why our brains can se...

Bringing back an oldie but goodie episode this week! Whether you’re hearing it for the first time, or if you heard it when it first aired back in February 2023, I hope you will find some nuggets of wisdom to take away. When anxiety shows up, it can feel tempting to want to make it go away as fast as possible. I’ve found this can actually make the anxiety stronger, and offer up 5 alternate ways to...

Bringing back an oldie but goodie episode this week! Whether you’re hearing it for the first time, or if you heard it when it first aired back in January 2023, I hope you will find some nuggets of wisdom to take away. Is there such thing as the “right relationship?” Why is this such a common question we ask ourselves? How do we expand into a new way of thinking? I dive into my thoughts on this sub...

We are heading into Valentine's Day month and there will be a ton of messages about having your romantic partner meeting your needs and showering you with love and gifts. While it’s lovely to celebrate our love for people in our life–it’s also important to celebrate the love we give ourselves.   Part of how we can give and receive love for ourselves and become our own best friend, our own inn...

Reading fiction can be relaxing–unless we’re stuck comparing our lives and relationship to the ones in the books! Then it can become stressful. Just know you are not alone if you feel this way–this episode topic was highly requested from other members of the You Love and You Learn community after I posted about fiction recently! In today’s episode, I explore three reasons why comparison to fiction...

In today’s episode, I sat down with Alena Winter, a clinical Naturopath and Nutritionist in New Zealand who is passionate about helping people understand true foundations of health and the things we need in place to be well. The good news? Many of these pillars of health are simple, accessible, and low cost–yet they can make a world of a difference in how we feel on a day to day basis.   We d...

Have you ever felt pressure to “just be grateful”? Maybe you have sat down to write a gratitude list before, but it took you a while to think of things about your life, your relationship, your partner–and you felt guilty about it; “shouldn’t I be more grateful?!”   In this week’s episode, I sit down with Karden Rabin, nervous system expert to explore a new perspective on gratitude that will (...

Having a strong mindset in relationships can be a big game-changer. Our mindset affects the way we think, feel, and behave–so it makes a big difference if we come from a mindset of “why bother?” (victim mindset) or “I can’t change anyway” (fixed mindset) as compared to a mindset of “I can influence my life and relationship (creator mindset) or “I am not there yet–but I am getting there” (growth mi...

Nate and I celebrated 8 years together yesterday, and I wanted to take some time to reflect on what I’ve learned in our time together. The 8 lessons I explore in more detail are:  The more we resist feeling “bad”—the more we suffer. The more we accept feeling “bad”—the sooner it will come and go It’s much easier to look at the ways our partner is lacking than to turn inward and see our own sh...

I am so excited to bring you this conversation with Dr. Courtney Paré, a licensed naturopathic doctor, holistic anxiety coach, speaker, and author. Courtney empowers those facing anxiety and OCD to experience greater peace and confidence in their lives and relationships, and just published her first book Overcoming Relationship Anxiety!  I had a chance to read the book and it’s fantastic. I k...

I can’t believe we’re already at episode 100 of this podcast! After sitting down with 50 guests, there were many lessons learned about love that I wanted to recap and share–so I went back and listened to the final question I ask all guests; “what is one thing you have learned about love that you want to leave listeners with?”   I found that there were 7 key categories of these lessons, so I w...

In this episode I am back with past guest, Ela Topcuoglu, who is a Life Transition Coach that helps us intentionally move through life’s big milestone moments (that can often be challenging for someone with anxiety). Things like moving in together, getting engaged, a breakup, changing jobs, or looking ahead to marriage.  One stage of transitions in particular, the limbo stage (in between the...

In this episode, I sit down with Lily Sais, a former school psychologist turned registered Three Principles practitioner, whose journey has taken her from anxiety to a place of peace. Lily is passionate about helping others uncover the peace that already lies within them, beneath anxious thoughts (the peace that already lies within…LOVE!)   We cover: Why it’s important to stop focusing on wha...

Over the years, there is a recurring ‘theme’ that brings up discomfort for me within my relationship, and that is when things feel boring or mundane. It used to really freak me out, and I would jump to thinking I had to go find a more exciting partner or relationship.   I still have these moments of judging the boredom, but when I pause to reflect further, I see things a little differently no...

This is a long overdue episode to explore signs of what an abusive relationship is and isn’t. I often give the disclaimer “my work does not apply to abusive relationships” and wanted to have a licensed therapist explain the types of abuse so people are aware.   And who better than Dr. Molly Burrets, a licensed clinical psychologist based in Los Angeles with 15 years of experience practicing p...

In this episode, I unpack the phrase “when you know you know” and how I used to take this phrase very literally, which caused a lot of anxiety and pressure on me. I deconstruct what it actually means to ‘know’ something or have ‘knowledge’, as well as the characteristics of someone who is more likely to ‘know’ something within their relationship or life.  If you’ve ever heard someone say they...

Does it feel like you’re doing all the ‘right’ things but you’re still not happy? Does it feel like everyone around you seems to be happier than you, and you feel so guilty about it?   What if this wasn’t a flaw or something you’re doing wrong – and we have been getting happiness wrong all along? In this episode, I sat down with Stephanie Harrison of @newhappyco to explore what happiness is a...

In this episode, MJ and I discuss why lowering the bar in your life and relationship might actually be a good thing. No, this isn’t about settling or letting go of standards. It’s about moving forward without beating yourself up for every imperfection along the way, and taking small intentional actions instead of waiting for everything to perfectly line up before you can move forward.   ...

In this episode, I explore the common struggle of wanting anxiety to disappear and how this often makes the anxiety feel even stronger. Many people ask, “Why is my anxiety still here even after I’ve tried all the tools?” – let's discuss a helpful shift in mindset that can transform your relationship with it. I cover: The nature of anxiety and why resisting it can make it feel stronger How to refra...

I’ve never done this before, but today I am bringing you a training from my Patreon membership to the podcast to show you a peek into the types of trainings we have every month!    This month’s topic: wanting to stay in your relationship, but knowing you want things to be better or different, too.    If you want to dive into a library of trainings like this, and connect with 30...

In this episode, Chelsea and I dive into the idea that true relationship strength often comes from embracing differences rather than being exactly the same.   We cover: Chelsea’s journey of overcoming internalized beliefs that partners must think alike How she learned to appreciate her husband's contrasting qualities How differences can nurture a deeper love, personal growth, and a more expan...

It can feel so painful to be disconnected from your partner. I get it, because I’ve had a few of these moments myself recently! Let’s talk about it.    In this episode, I share: Recent examples when Nate and I felt disconnected Why it feels so painful to be disconnected from your partner  5 ways to respond next time you’re disconnected  7 helpful mindsets around disconnection +...

This episode focuses on healing anxiety from the inside out. And who better to speak to than Alison Seponara – therapist, anxiety educator, holistic healer, and author who specializes in helping others create their own holistic anxiety healing toolkit!   Anxiety can come from many different pillars of our life; our friendships, our physical health and wellbeing, our relational attachment dyna...

You are in for a TREAT with this episode, which truly felt like a therapy session for me. I sat down with Thais Gibson who has over a decade working as a practitioner and specializes in blending attachment theory, psychology, and subconscious reprogramming.    We discuss what Thais refers to as the “relationship shadow” and explore why our partners can be so dang triggering (it’s not wha...

Have you ever felt like you were not going “fast enough” in your journey to heal relationship anxiety or ROCD? Maybe you’ve seen other people share their wins and felt like you’re just not getting it. It’s easy to beat ourselves up when we compare to other people’s highlight reels–but today I am peeling back the curtain of what healing relationship anxiety actually looks like.    Get the...