You Hate Movies

Happy Halloween! It's time to complete David Gordon Green's Halloween quasi-reboot trilogy. Featuring: Bethany Allen, Josh Porter, Matt Hughes, Mike Jensen, and Tyler Hanns

There’s still time to immerse yourself in Halloween through the power of movies. We’ll tell you how! Our panel of cinephiles has assembled their own respective Halloween movie recommendation lists. Featuring: Josh Porter, Levi Warren, Patrick Porter

Earlier this year Hulu managed to shock the world with the unimaginable: A very good sequel to a franchise genre film with Prey. Can they do it again with Hellraiser, one of the most unique and beloved horror films of all time? No. Featuring: Josh Porter, Levi Warren, Patrick Porter

As we celebrate the greatness of Prey, it's time to rank all seven movies in the Predator franchise from worst to best. Featuring: Josh Porter, Levi Warren, and Patrick Porter

The unthinkable has happened! In an era of threadbare sequels hopelessly abandoned to streaming services, one magnificent entry rises up from the ashes of the Predator franchise. Featuring: Abi Porter, Josh Porter, Levi Warren, and Patrick Porter

The god of thunder is back! But is there any thunder left in a decidedly un-cinematic Marvel Universe bogged down by underwhelming non-events and Disney TV shows? Featuring: Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns

In the final installment of our three-episode journey into the Jurassic Park franchise, we're learning what the Jurassic World trilogy means to its evolving target audience.

In this second installment of our three-episode journey into the Jurassic Park franchise, we're debriefing the sixth and ostensibly final entry in the Jurassic saga.  Featuring: Abi Porter, Bethany Allen, Josh Porter, and Patrick Porter

In this first installment of our three-episode journey into the jurassic park franchise, Josh is taking a deep dive into Jurassic Park and its sequels, what does and doesn’t work, and how Jurassic World: Dominion fares as the saga’s conclusion.

Every year, we make a wager on which movies will make the most money during the summer movie season. In this episode, we will argue about who will be the big winners at the box office. Play along and let us know which movies you think will be the top 10 of the summer. Featuring: Abi Porter, Josh Porter, Josiah DePaoli, Liam Gonnason, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns

Listen in awe as not even our most dedicated Marvel apologists can find anything nice to say the Disney corporation's latest blockbuster. Featuring: Josh Porter, Josiah DePaoli, Liam Gonnason, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns

We watch a lot of movies. In this bonus episode—previously exclusive to Patreon—we’ll take a (relatively) spoiler-free tour of what we’ve been watching and to whom we would recommend or warn against it. Featuring: Abi Porter, Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns

The Batman is back... again. We have lots of thoughts about it. Maybe we liked it. I don't know. We don't sound like it sometimes. So brace yourselves—one way or another—for our opinions! Featuring: Abi Porter, Josh Porter, Matt Hughes, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns

Your resident expert cinephiles have finally compiled the definitive list of the top 10 movies of 2021. Featuring: Abi Porter, Josh Porter, Matt Hughes, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns

Does the final installment in the MCU's Spider-Man trilogy really earn all its fanfare, or does it amount to little more than dorky fan fiction? Featuring: Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, Tyler Hanns

Finally, we settle the great Christmas movie debate once and for all by presenting our top 10 favorite Christmas movies of all time! Featuring: Abi Porter, Bethany Allen, Josh Porter, Liam Gonnason, Mike Jensen, Patrick Porter, Peter Nikiforov, and Tyler Hanns

Listen as we put our resident expert cinephiles to the test in a harrowing contest of Christmas movie trivia! Featuring: Abi Porter, Bethany Allen, Josh Porter, Liam Gonnason, Mike Jensen, Patrick Porter, Peter Nikiforov, and Tyler Hanns

Halloween isn't over yet! Listen as we continue the spooktacular celebrate we began last year by surviving Halloween Kills! Featuring: Bethany Allen, Josh Porter, Matthew Hughes, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns.

More than a half-century after what is arguably the most influential work of science fiction was published, it finally gets a faithful big-screen adaptation. Or… half of one anyway. Our expert cinephiles (made up of both longtime Dune readers and Dune newcomers alike) weigh in on Denis Villeneuve’s visionary epic.   Featuring: Josh Porter, Liam Gonnason, Patrick Porter, Tyler Hanns

Join us as we explore the most exciting and/or dumb movie news from August 2021. How old is Ridley Scott? Can we remember which Expendables movie was which? Should Bethany watch The Texas Chain Saw Massacre? The answers—as well as our expert opinions—await you. Featuring: Josh Porter, Liam Gonnason, Michael Dumont, Patrick Porter, and Vanessa Porter

Marvel Studios returns to the big screen with Black Widow. But can Natasha's spy thriller rekindle Marvel's old magic, or has the MCU overstayed its welcome? Featuring: Josh Porter, Patrick Porter, and Michael Dumont

After the long plague delay, John Krasinski returns to the world of his kiddie-pool horror hit with A Quiet Place Part II. After all our dotting and fawning over the original, can the follow-up possibly curry our favor? Featuring: Abi Porter, Bethany Allen, Josh Porter, Michael Jensen, and Patrick Porter

For the first time since 1962, the world’s most famous kaiju duke it out on the big screen. Does Godzilla vs Kong bring Legendary’s Monsterverse to an epic conclusion worthy of the titular titans? Featuring: Bethany Allen, Josh Porter, Mike Jensen, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns

After years of mewling fan outcry, Zack Snyder has delivered. Has he over-delivered? Can Snyder redeem the merciless crappiness that was Justice League, or is an entirely new movie necessary to accomplish so heroic a feat? Featuring: Bethany Allen, Josh Porter, Mike Jensen, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns

With hardly any movies being released and even fewer being watched, we managed to scrape together our top 10 lists for the world's most beloved year to date. Featuring: Abi Porter, Bethany Allen, Josh Porter, Mike Jensen, Patrick Porter, and Tyler Hanns.