"You Are A Lot" (an ADHD/AuDHD podcast)

In this episode : I talk about how ADHD shows up at work, from time blindness to burnout and I go over what your rights are under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). I walk you through real-world accommodations that can make a huge difference (including remote work), how to actually ask for them without overexplaining, and I wonder about the whole concept of why we even have to ask for thin...

In this episode: I open up about my surprising Autism diagnosis last summer, which added AuDHD to my identity alongside ADHD. I share how this revelation unexpectedly tied together all the loose ends of what I'd felt was "wrong" my entire life. I also reflect on how many therapists missed what now seems like an obvious diagnosis, and why so many professionals still struggle to understand this comp...

In this episode : I talk about my frustration and anger at the gravely irresponsible and chock full of what seems like willful disinformation spreading article in the Sunday New York Times Magazine titled " Have We Been Thinking About ADHD All Wrong?" I let the experts speak for me and I read the intelligent analysis done by Dr. Russell Barkley and the editors of ADDitude Magazine. For ad-free epi...

In this episode: Did anyone ever tell you that being a PEOPLE PLEASER is a core trait in ADHD/AuDHD Humans? In this episode, I'll tell you all about it. Spoiler Alert: It has to do with our coping mechanisms that we developed early on in order to avoid rejection and seeking validation from others due to our feelings of inadequacy because of our (especially undiagnosed) ADHD/AuDHD.  For ad-free epi...

In this episode: ADHD/AuDHD humans often struggle with boundaries. whether it's setting them with others or even recognizing our own internal limits. We might not realize a boundary needs to be set until it's already been crossed, leaving us overwhelmed, resentful, and frustrated. I talk about how impulsivity, time management challenges, and emotional regulation difficulties all play a role in why...

In This Episode: I talk about the origin of the term "Asperger's Syndrome" and why it's no longer used. The short answer: Nazis. I'm reading a book about Hans Asperger, the Austrian pediatrician who worked with the Nazis but claimed not to be one of them. To this day the idea of how "functioning" an autistic person is seems to be deeply and darkly rooted in only what their value to the workforce i...

In This Episode: In response to last week's episode about reasons why ADHD/AuDHD Humans sometimes have a bigger chance of  being drawn into cults, MLM's and other sketchy setups, there is an equal and opposite argument that people with ADHD/AuDHD are actually more equipped to spot scams and avoid getting sucked into cults and sketchy situations.   For ad-free episodes, video versions, transcripts,...

In This Episode: Did you know that ADHD/AuDHD Humans have a bigger chance of being drawn into cults, MLM's and other sketchy setups? I explain why we are targets (hint: our impulsivity, need for community and outsider feelings) and talk about how to spot red flags.  For ad-free episodes, video versions, transcripts, and a second ad-free Patreon only episode every Friday - support Jen by subscribin...

In this episode: I go over the ins and outs of PDA; Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy. I chat about why even the simplest requests can feel like too much and how people with PDA handle those constant demands. I look at the behaviors, challenges, and some ways to work on keeping a sense of autonomy even when triggered. For ad-free episodes, video versions, transcripts, a...

In this episode: I talk about the other side of masking which is unmasking! I explain how we can safely and consciously choose to un-mask, the risks for some of unmasking, and how we may find ourselves unconsciously unmasking as people around us say things like, " You're acting more ADHD/Autistic ever since your diagnosis. " But it's not an act. It's our authentic selves coming through. For ad-fre...

In this episode : I talk about the exhausting art of masking with ADHD and/or AuDHD. I explore why so many of us feel the need to mask (both consciously and unconsciously), what the very real consequences of masking are and when it benefits those of us with ADHD.  For ad-free episodes, video versions, transcripts, and a second ad-free Patreon only episode every Friday - support Jen by subscribing...

In this episode: I explore the concept of Justice Sensitivity in people with ADHD and AuDHD and I explain why fairness and injustice can feel so intense for neurodivergent individuals and how these strong reactions shape everyday experiences and influence relationships, work, and personal well-being. For ad-free episodes, video versions, transcripts, and a second ad-free Patreon only episode every...

In This Episode: I talk about the very real psychological issue of feeling like an imposter despite our accomplishments. While this can happen to neurotypicals as well, especially in a career context, ADHD humans walk around feeling this way consistently. We can feel like a secret failure at just LIFE itself, and since having ADHD erodes self-trust, we also feel like imposters if we don't seem "AD...

In this episode: I talk about how ADHD humans can withdraw from friendships due to our "out of sight, out of mind" brains despite loving our friends and gives advice on how we can maintain our friendships.  For ad-free episodes, video versions, transcripts, and a second ad-free Patreon only episode every Friday - support Jen by subscribing to Patreon at just $7.99/mo or get 15% off if you pay annu...

In this episode:  I talk about the pros and cons of hyperfocus. Pro: In a hyperfocus we are working at our optimal ability. Con: Too much hyperfocus and we're neglecting our basic needs and the needs of people in our lives. And why "flow" and "hyperfocus" are two different states of being. For ad-free episodes, video versions, transcripts, and a second ad-free Patreon only episode every Friday - s...

In this episode: I talk about how being an ADHD Human comes with a lot of misunderstandings, from neurotypicals not understanding that ADHD traits aren't moral failings, to not being able to understand ourselves after being labeled as "lazy" or "rude" for so long, and how ADHD itself is misunderstood even by the people who have this neuro-developmental disorder. For ad-free episodes, video version...

In this episode: I talk about the concept that ADHD Humans have an "Interest Based Nervous System" as opposed to Neurotypicals who have an "Importance Based Nervous System." Basically, ADHD Humans are not motivated by the fact that they know that something is important to them or someone else, but they are motivated by their interest in a project or task, the novelty of it all, whether it's a chal...

In this episode: I answer a listener's email about a philosophical crisis of self. Is our personality, our interests, our attitudes and sense of self just ADHD? How can we tell the difference?  For ad-free episodes, video versions, transcripts, and a second ad-free Patreon only episode every Friday - support Jen by subscribing to Patreon at just $7.99/mo or get 15% off if you pay annually. You'll...

In this episode: I answer two listener emails about how to stop with the negative self-talk after failing to complete tasks and feeling overwhelmed, and how (and if) to tell a new boss that you have Rejection Sensitivity and might need future feedback to be more gentle. For ad-free episodes, video versions, transcripts, and a second ad-free Patreon only episode every Friday - support Jen by subscr...

In this episode: I talk about the word "procrastivity" and why ADHD humans love to do every task other than what they set out to work on. And the problem of not even being able to get started due to what's known as "front end perfectionism" where the entire day goes by and we've spent it preparing to do our tasks or work not by actually preparing anything related, but by "organizing" our space, an...

In this episode: I talk about how after just assuming that the "right" thing to do for ADHD is keeping my phone in FOCUS mode, leaving all notifications and alerts off, that I realized living that way is more overwhelming than allowing bleeps, bloops and on-screen banners to remind me of things. For ad-free episodes, video versions, transcripts, and a second ad-free Patreon only episode every Frid...

In this episode: I talk about why ADHD people procrastinate (hint: the usual answers - lack of executive function and an impulsive need for dopamine) and how we must accept that we will continue to procrastinate, otherwise we'll live in a constant fantasy loop that tomorrow will be the day that I'm a person who doesn't procrastinate! Once we accept that we will procrastinate, we can then start to...

In this episode : I talk about the ADHD Human tendency to overshare by saying "inappropriate" things to people, not knowing we are talking too much or stopping, info dumping on someone, spilling other people's secrets, saying too much about ourselves even if we didn't mean to, or over-explaining ourselves and then the subsequent shame hangover after we realize that we overshared. I share tips on h...

In this episode : I tell a personal story about my latest attempt to get my ADHD medication prescription filled during this medication shortage and in a timely manner before I had to travel out of the country for work. This attempt included going to a pharmacy miles away and having to show a travel itinerary to prove that I wasn't lying about needing my medication by a certain date. You won't beli...

In this episode: I talk about how middle-aged women are being diagnosed with ADHD in higher numbers due to their diagnosis being missed as children. I talk about not realizing that I had ADHD as a child until I read Sari Solden's book that explains that girls go unnoticed and undiagnosed because their symptoms may not present as hyper-active or inattentive, leading them to become women who are con...