WTF is AuDHD?

Sarah (social worker, ADHD, OCD, PMDD and autistic) is back for more! In this episode we shift into language, identity, and the inner world of neurodivergence. Sarah reflects on her childhood as an undiagnosed AuDHDer, the anxiety that masked her ADHD, and elaborates on the different ways boys vs girls are treated. We explore dialectical thinking - the simple but powerful practice of using “and” i...

We're super excited to be joined by neurodivergent parent and social worker Sarah ( @neurodialectical on Instagram ), who shares how becoming a parent was the catalyst for her diagnoses - including autism, ADHD, OCD, PTSD, and PMDD. We talk candidly about the sensory reality of parenting when your needs directly clash with your child’s, the rage and grief no one prepares you for, and why planning...

In this episode, Ellie's running on lack of sleep thanks to the Formula One race overnight, so we're chatting about sleep! We dig into why sleep is such a challenge for neurodivergent brains - from revenge bedtime procrastination to sensory overload to busy brains and chronic sleep debt. We share our own experiences and how lack of rest affects everything from emotion regulation to basic functioni...

Content warning: in this episode we lightly touch on abuse, manipulation and sexual assault - between 37 - 40mins - proceed with care. In this episode we dive into one of the biggest neurodivergent struggles: boundaries. Why do so many AuDHD people become chronic people-pleasers? Why do we say yes when every part of our body is screaming no? Why do we only realise afterwards how we're actually fee...

This week we’re joined by Bayley Garnham - diagnosed dyspraxic and neuro-affirming Personal Trainer! Bayley shares his diagnosis journey, what dyspraxia can actually look like day-to-day, how dyspraxia affected him growing up and what inspired him into personal training. We chat about why exercise can vary depending on biological sex, why so many of us need movement but struggle to start, and how...

In this episode, we unpack the perfectionism cage - the invisible set of rules we build for ourselves as AuDHDers in an attempt to survive, succeed, or simply avoid judgement. We talk about how perfectionism showed up in our childhoods, how it morphs into procrastination and paralysis, and why so many of us cling to impossible standards even when they burn us out. JOIN OUR DISCORD Hosted on Acast....

It’s not personal, we just literally forgot you existed. This week we dive into the concept of object permanence. We chat about why AuDHDers struggle to remember things, hobbies, goals and people once they’re out of sight, how it impacts friendships and daily life, and what we’ve learned about how to manage it. Vote for us for Listener's Choice at the NZ Podcast awards (if you want) HERE SOCIAL @w...

For so many neurodivergent people, friendships can feel confusing, draining, or just out of reach. In this episode we open up about growing up lonely, the ache of wanting connection, and how RSD can destablise you from reality. We touch on a listener submission - should you tell your friends about your diagnosis? We also share how our dogs have helped us with being at peace in our own company and...

Paige is back! If you've always secretly found travelling stressful and wondered why it looks so fun for everyone else - we see you. In this episode, we’re unpacking why holidays and travel can feel so overwhelming as a neurodivergent person. Freshly off the plane, Paige reflects on her recent trip and what accomodations she made for herself. We talk about why AuDHDers find travelling stressful an...

What about the after part of ADHD diagnosis? Bree Tomasel joins us for a follow up chat about her diagnosis experience and feelings. Bree shares her experience with the weird limbo of diagnosis imposter syndrome, the long road to getting meds right (four years, no joke), and she shares advice and things she's learned that have helped her. Paige is back next week! Also, if you'd like to vote our po...

The hilarious and wildly talented Bree Tomasel - broadcaster, creator, and late-diagnosed ADHDer - joins Ellie for a candid chat. Bree opens up about a lifetime of masking - not just her ADHD, but her anxiety and even her sexuality - and how she shaped her own career, while sometimes feeling 'dumb'. We hear about what she was like as an undiagnosed child and some of the early signs she now sees in...

Happy ADHD Awareness Month! Ellie is back with her partner Sam for another candid chat about life with ADHD, and life as an neurodivergent couple. This week we explore what we wish people knew about ADHD, why feedback is so crucial for us as ADHDers, and we share the ways we've learned to split responsibilities at home. We also talk honestly about why ADHDers can be so tough on themselves and answ...

In this week’s episode, Ellie's ADHD partner Sam is back to share the story of their relationship - navigating conflict, emotional regulation, and yes, how they deal with intimacy. From being good friends and retrospectively noticing early signs of undiagnosed ADHD and AuDHD to how they’ve learned to grow together, they open up and celebrate the strengths that neurodivergence brings into their liv...

In this episode Paige is on holiday, so Ellie sits down with her partner Sam to talk about his journey with late-diagnosed ADHD. From childhood challenges and misunderstood behaviours, to the coping mechanisms he developed along the way, to the huge relief (and grief) of finally getting a diagnosis - we dig into what life looked like before and after. Sam shares how he found his career as a young...

Just like last episode, we're going through a common autism screener ( Autism Quotient ) and discussing the limitations of these questions (especially if you might be AuDHD). While tools like this can be a helpful first step, they also have major blind spots - especially around masking, nuance, and gender differences. We share the answers we gave in our actual screeners from a few years back and d...

If you’ve ever taken an ADHD screener and thought, “Well, that didn’t feel accurate…” you’re not alone! In this episode, we walk through the 18 questions you're generally asked in New Zealand, to work out whether you are "worth" further assessment for ADHD. We go through the screener, answer them as AuDHDers, and show why screeners don't always capture the full picture - especially if you’ve spent...

Meet our ADHD Dad, Grant! He was born in the 60s - in a generation that barely knew anything about neurodivergence. Dad went through school, work, parenting, literally everything without a diagnosis until much later in life, and unfortunately his parents had passed away before he was diagnosed. In this episode, Grant shares what it’s like to piece together your story backwards, how late diagnosis...

In this episode, we explore Pathological Demand Avoidance (more compassionately known as Pervasive Drive for Autonomy) - a profile most often linked with autism that goes far beyond being just being “stubborn.” We break down what PDA is, our understanding of it and how it's appeared in our life, and why everyday requests can feel overwhelming or even threatening - even if the demand is from within...

In this episode, we open up about our personal journeys with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) and other gastrointestinal / autoimmune issues we've experienced, using hindsight to recognise it may have all been linked to our autism and ADHD (stress!). We start exploring the connection between the brain and the gut, including how our stomach microbiome impacts our brain. We dive into emerging research...

Transitions can be some of the hardest moments for people with ADHD, autism, or both - even when we’re looking forward to what’s next. Paige and Ellie have had a few ephiphanies recently about how transitions have affected them throughout their life. In this episode, we explore why shifting from one activity, environment, or phase of life can feel so dysregulating, and how neurodivergent inertia p...

Dr Khurram Sadiq is back for part two where we dig into common misdiagnoses, masking, family dynamics, and how to truly identify AuDHD traits. We also touch on workplace accommodations, co-occurring conditions like OCD and PMDD, and how to manage burnout and executive dysfunction (especially when medication isn’t accessible or effective). Dr Sadiq offers grounded advice and hope to anyone navigati...

Dr Khurram Sadiq - renowned psychiatrist and AuDHDer - joins us to help explain AuDHD. In this powerful first half of our conversation, we unpack his own diagnostic journey, what it means to live between ADHD and autism, and why this combination deserves more recognition. We explore how gender, culture, and systemic pressures influence diagnosis, and why many of us are missed or misunderstood for...

This week, we’re diving into a big one: having children as an AuDHD adult. Neither of us are parents (yet - or possibly ever), so this is not a how-to, but an open conversation about the thoughts, fears, and feelings we have around parenting as neurodivergent people. We speak honestly about the differences in our perspectives (Paige and Ellie don’t feel the same way!), and share the thoughts and...

We're diving into what it’s really like navigating work with AuDHD. We chat about our personal job histories - the burnout, the boredom, the passion, and the pivots - and why sticking to one career path can feel impossible. If you’ve ever loved and hated your job at the same time, or blamed yourself for not being “cut out” for work, this one’s for you. You’re not lazy - you’re likely unsupported....

Why is AuDHD so hard to manage and treat? In this episode, we explore lived contradictions of having both ADHD and autism - where one part of your brain craves routine and the other thrives on chaos, often resulting in burnout. We share real-life examples from ourselves and you - our listeners! We unpack why treatments often fall short, and highlight how young the concept of AuDHD really is - incl...