Wrath of Pod

The Joshua spinoff series kicks off in a big way! Joshua sends out two spies to get to know the lay of the land, and they interpret his instructions to mean that they should get laid on the land. Then the rest of the Israelites finally follow their Levite tour guides into Canaan by crossing the Jordan River, which looks suspiciously like the Red Sea. But before actually attacking any of the Canaan...

In this very special episode, Marcus and Deanna summarize all of Season 5, review the entire series, and also break down all of the mischief and mayhem of the first-ever Holy Bible Convention! Which character is getting their very own spinoff series? What has Marcus been keeping in his suitcase? Who would win the Holy Bible Hunger Games? We answer all of those questions, plus reveal the weirdest n...

This season and series finale features the most long-awaited death scene ever! But first, Moses just has to give one final speech. He individually blesses all 12 tribes of Israel – well, almost all 12 – with heavy sandals, baby lions, toxic masculinity, and an encouragement to fight dirty. Moses then ascends to yet another badly named mountain and is just starting to enjoy the vista when God final...

Dust off your cowboy hats, warm up your accordion, and get ready to swing – it’s a musical episode! Moses opens his final song with a catchy banjo tune, then yields the stage to an operatic performance from Joshua. We also hear from a crowd favorite timbral band, Zipporah and her two sons, and a very special musical guest star! Not to be outdone, God himself takes the stage with an 80s-inspired ba...

Moses tells the assembled crowd that their relationship with God is totally exclusive, whether they like it or not – and it’s going to involve open-heart surgery, whether they like it or not! He then announces that it’s his birthday, and because he can’t “go out and come in” like he used to (ahem), he’s officially going to pass the torch to Joshua. At the inauguration ceremony, God springs one las...

God continues quizzing Moses, starting with a set of laws that combine food taxes with storytelling. But when a crowd gathers outside and demands a few last words of wisdom from their favorite prophet, Moses obliges with gusto. He first encourages them to cover a set of public monuments with graffiti, then lists out a horrifying set of consequences that will ensue if they don’t follow all of God’s...

God himself drops by Moses’s house to give him a pop quiz about some laws, a surprising number of which involve stoning children, destroying other nations, and keeping oxen and donkeys away from each other. God also reminisces about this crazy house party he had one time, which apparently involved adulterous people falling off the roof and women having their hands cut off for grabbing his junk. At...

Moses gets by with a little help from his friends in this episode, as Joshua, Caleb, and Mummy Joseph drop by to check on everyone’s favorite doomed prophet. Moses takes the opportunity to spew out a few more laws (among other things), reminding everyone that they need to stop all the soothsaying and horse trading and start killing every living thing in Canaan. All is going swimmingly until Moses...

Another episode, another drunken litany of reminders from Moses. As he shuffles home after the party, he talks about a blessing MacGuffin, burn books, and God’s very important convenience store – and don’t forget to bring God some gaudy trinkets when you visit! Along the way, the Israelites absolutely cannot eat any camels or show the slightest interest in investigating non-God religions. They can...

Moses somehow increases the pace on his rapid-fire carrot-and-stick reminders – one moment he’s waxing poetic about an awesome new theme park in Canaan, and the next moment he’s threatening to release a swarm of hornets if the Israelites don’t do as God says. While berating the head of the Hebrew Complaint Brigade, Moses describes a special kind of circumcision that may stop their complaining for...

Moses continues his “tell not show” retirement party speech, and his bitterness at being excluded from the Canaan party really comes out. He follows up this rant with a litany of reminders focusing on God’s strict rules for not worshipping idols, which include a surprisingly large loophole for unicorns. As he transitions to a post-party chat with incumbent prophet Joshua, it’s clear that he takes...

It’s the season opener for Season 5, “Study of the Dudes”! Moses gives a rambling farewell speech at his retirement party that would put your grandpa to shame, focusing on that one time that everyone got cold feet about going to Canaan and were cursed to wander in the desert for 40 years. He also spills some tea about Og, king of Bashan, who is setting a new standard in bedroom furniture. (Deutero...

Marcus and Deanna review Season 4: Numbers! What exactly was God’s relationship with that rock? How might the noble sport of curling be featured in future battle scenes? Just how many lambs have been silenced so far in all those sacrifices? And of course, we reveal the winner of the season-wide Weirdest Name competition! Join us on Patreon at  www.patreon.com/wrathofpod Advertising Inquiries: http...

This season finale has it all! God opens with some more misogynist rules, and then quickly pivots to violence, sending the Israelite army out for an epic battle against the Midianites. Led by everyone’s favorite javelin-wielding badass, Phineas, the Israelites utterly destroy their enemies and discover the shocking identity of a traitor (or should we say “trait-hur”?) in their midst. Moses then su...

Moses’s anxiety about dropping dead at any moment peaks as God orders yet another census of the Israelites (which is mostly an excuse to channel his favorite Sesame Street character). Then, in a shocking twist, God changes the laws of inheritance in favor of women. Next, without any warning, God tells Moses that he’s going to be "Aaroned" at the top of a mountain. Rather than immediately p...

Having seen the death and destruction visited on his neighbors by the Israelite army, local king Balak tries a different tactic, hiring Certified Hedge Wizard Balaam to curse the Israelites. God repeatedly trolls Balaam on his way to this new job with contradictory FaceTime calls, invisible angels, and a talking donkey. God finally lets Balaam get on with it, but then literally puts his own words...

God starts off this week’s episode with a recipe for the world’s most disgusting sports drink, followed immediately by a terrible eulogy for poor Miriam, who was just never able to shake that bad case of racism-induced leprosy. Then the Hebrew Complaint Brigade whines about the lack of water, leading a frustrated Moses to ignore God’s instructions about how he wants his rock to be treated. This is...

The Israelites’ addiction to complaining continues, with Korah and his followers whining about how Moses and Aaron have too much power. God first threatens to wipe everyone out, but settles for running a competition that ends with an earthquake. That still isn’t enough, because the next day features more complaining about God killing yesterday’s complainers. This time, God actually starts to wipe...

The Israelites try their hand at spycraft this week, sending people to scout out the land of Canaan. They steal some mutant grapes and bring back reports of giant people and tiny horses, which scares everyone so much that they wish they were still enslaved. God snaps, threatening to wipe everyone out. After Moses talks him down, God settles on some sneaky revenge against the whiners, who have to w...

God is back and sassier than ever in this week’s episode! He starts off as we’ve come to expect, focusing excessively on the importance of nightlights and musical instruments. But once the Israelites start whining about how the food was better in Egypt (seriously?!), he lays down the punishment in a big way, sending them enough plague-riddled quail to choke a three-humped camel. He next turns his...

If you were hoping for a big battle scene this week after last week’s army muster, well, too bad! Instead of marching his awesome new army into battle, God continues to coach the tribe of Levi in interior decoration and puts in place some very unusual (and badly named) rituals for getting past the velvet rope to his club. He then throws a fun date night idea into the mix: All you need is a suspici...

True to its name, Season 4: Numbers opens with lots and lots of numbers, as God gets jittery about the neighbors and conscripts all men over 20 into his army. The costume department rises to the challenge with a terrific collection of tribe-specific uniform designs, which will of course never be made available in the official show shop. The Levites are exempt from army service, partly because God...

Marcus and Deanna review Season 3: Leviticus! Will God finally let Moses take a day off? What kind of punishment is appropriate for using stupid corporate expressions? What happens when sexy fan fiction meets a classic country tune? We discuss all this and more, plus the winner of the season-wide Weirdest Name competition and some exciting updates about the Holy Bible Show convention! Join us on P...

In this final episode of the season, God brain-dumps the last of his laws while practicing his best flight-attendant voice and wearing his best pair of jeans. We hear that priests must marry virgins, can’t have any physical defects, and a bunch of other cringy, retrograde stuff that we’ve come to expect from this out-of-touch boomer. He also makes up some holidays centering on unleavened bread, tr...

God’s call-in radio show pivots to cooking tips this episode, revealing his preferences for hooves, cud, fins, scales, and grasshoppers. Then God shows his germophobic side, laying down some rules about how to handle sores on your beard or when your bedsheets get icky – and the makeup department’s work on all of the diseased extras is not for the faint of heart! Aaron presides over a special cerem...