Wrath of Pod

Season 3 opens with God at the mic of his new call-in radio show, where he solves all of your sin-related problems. Accidentally overheard an oath? Sacrifice an animal! Touched something unclean? Sacrifice an animal! Trespassed on your neighbor’s field? You guessed it — sacrifice an animal! The priests get to eat all of the burned-up leftovers from these sacrifices, which works out fine until two...

Marcus and Deanna review all of Season 2: Exodus! They discuss God’s introverted tendencies, spread rumors about a schism on the writing team, reimagine the tabernacle, speculate on the similarities between Moses and a honey badger, and try to settle the issue of what’s up with Aaron’s leadership style once and for all. Plus, of course, find out the winner of the season-wide Weirdest Name competit...

Season 2 finale! The Israelites, led by head artisans Bedazzle and Fancy Drapery Care Bear, follow God’s divine Ikea instructions to finally build the tabernacle. Moses oversees the process under his veil while Aaron disappears into the background whenever God comes around. When the tabernacle is complete, God descends in a cloud, partly for dramatic effect but mostly to hide that he’s still in hi...

God (finally!) wraps up his long-winded presentation on top of Mount Sinai. Meanwhile, spurred on by the forceful head of the Hebrew Complaint Brigade and some short-term memory loss, the people demand that Aaron make a weird-looking statue of a baby animal for them to worship. Moses literally breaks up their party and administers some hardcore punishment, which is followed by a plague from God an...

God continues his very detail-oriented corporate keynote presentation to Moses. To add insult to injury, God names Moses’s brother, Aaron, as the first high priest. For this new role, Aaron will need some fancy linen underwear, a bejeweled Breastplate of Judgment, and enough bells to break his bird-hunting habit for good. Moses commiserates with Zipporah over text and discovers a shocking secret i...

God does his best Steve Jobs impression with a keynote presentation about building the world’s gaudiest tablet case. After coercing the Israelites into contributing to his Kickstarter, God specifies the materials and dimensions for a tabernacle, made of badger skins, show bread, and lots and lots of gold. While Moses takes diligent notes in God’s living room, Aaron adopts a cool hip-hop name and t...

Emboldened by his bestselling ‘top ten laws’, God tries his hand at creating some lesser ones. Peering down from his cloud at the top of Mount Sinai, God watches while the newly freed Israelites let loose at the First Annual Mount Sinai Music Festival. But they’ll need to sober up and follow all these new rules if they want to avoid a smiting or occasional sword stabbing. Thank goodness that God i...

Moses is suffering under the heavy demands of his job: sitting in judgment over every petty disagreement the Hebrews can come up with, and dealing with an ace prosecutor to boot. His father-in-law Jethro suggests he avoid burn-out by starting a sprawling bureaucratic pyramid scheme and taking only the biggest cases. God steps in to help further by staging an eardrum-splitting concert at Mount Sina...

God loads up Google Maps and directs the Israelites towards Canaan via the Red Sea, which he divides in two with the mother of all sneezes. Pharaoh pops back up for one final scare before disappearing beneath the waves, along with his 600 pimped-out chariots. Although the Israelites couldn’t pack any desert hiking essentials, they did remember the tambourines for a big dance number. When the food...

The plagues continue with swarms of monstrous bugs, things that go bump in the night, and straight up murder. Moses stars in ten seconds of an awesome action movie before it’s back to the now-familiar pattern of death, destruction, and Pharaoh’s clogged arteries. The Hebrews finally get to leave Egypt, much to the delight of the tiny number of surviving Egyptians, and they take all the booty they...

After God fails to boost workplace morale, he attempts to use Moses to free the Hebrews from slavery while giving Pharaoh a case of heart disease. Seven disgusting plagues and one classic arcade game later, Pharaoh’s arteries are hard as rocks, but the Hebrews are still enslaved. But forget about God’s rookie negotiating mistakes – you’ve never before seen such beautiful shots of dead fish, dead f...

We open Season 2 with a Pharaoh who takes a Thanos-like approach to solving overpopulation by killing all of the male Hebrew babies. One lucky tot rides the rapids in a mini-ark instead and is adopted by the princess, who names him Moses. Moses steps away from his privileged upbringing to embrace a more Batman lifestyle, and then has to get the hell out of Dodge before the authorities arrest him f...

Marcus and Deanna review Season 1: Genesis. Is a shadowy figure secretly pulling God’s strings from behind the scenes? What’s the best use for the ark now that shooting is done? What counts as a blessing anyway? Tune in for the answers to all of these questions and more, plus the winners of the season-wide Weirdest Name competition! Join us on Patreon at www.patreon.com/wrathofpod Advertising Inqu...

Season finale! Jacob comes down with an acute case of “I’m gonna die soon” and gathers his sons for one last chance to complain about that time Reuben had sex with Jacob’s concubine. Jacob also attempts to bless Joseph’s sons but Joseph comes out of left field with an obsession about using the “right” hand. Asher appears destined to run a world class bakery, and Simeon and Levi reminisce about pea...

Joseph pulls the plug on his revenge plans after his brothers turn their groveling up to 11. Joseph removes his glasses in a Clark-Kent-to-Superman-style striptease, but his brothers don’t believe it’s him until Benjamin confirms the match with his cool sci-fi de-cloaking device. Following this tearful reunion, the brothers try to convince their dad that meeting Joseph in Egypt isn’t just some onl...

When Pharaoh’s sleep is disrupted by terrifying dreams of vampire cows, he springs world-renowned Dream Reader Joseph from jail. Joseph concludes that seven years of famine can be prevented by opening a brewery and setting up a strong social security system. Delighted by this news, Pharaoh makes Joseph his right-hand man and supermarket manager. Joseph’s brothers come by for their weekly grocery s...

Joseph is out and proud with a fancy coat from his adoring father. Between that and his obsession with reading his dream journal out loud, the rest of his brothers have had enough and sell him into slavery. Judah has three sons, all of whom he aims to marry to Tamar, since she makes the best Thanksgiving casserole that anyone has ever tasted. Unfortunately, God keeps smiting the sons for infractio...

Jacob freaks out about seeing Esau again and immediately ranks his household by their human-shield potential. God overdoes his attempts to lift Jacob’s spirits by staging an all-night wrestling match. Several dozen clotheslines later, Jacob is left with a broken hip and new name, Israel. Luckily for The Artist Formerly Known As Jacob, Esau turns out to be chill, and brotherly love prevails. Unluck...

On his way to Haran, Jacob uses a random stone as a pillow and has trippy dreams with distinct Led Zeppelin vibes. Speaking of stones, Jacob lifts a huge one with just his erection and then signs a seven-year employment contract in exchange for marrying the boss’s daughter, Rachel. Unfortunately, her father Laban enforces a strict “first-out-of-womb, first-into-wedlock” rule by tagging in Rachel’s...

Rebecca gets pregnant with some “special help” from God. It’s twins! The first, Esau, has an unfortunate resemblance to Elmo crossed with Hellboy. His awful luck continues when he trades his birthright for some off-brand baked beans from his mild-mannered brother, Jacob. Jacob gets pressured into wearing goatskin to steal a magic one-use-only blessing from Esau, then gets the hell out of Dodge bef...

After Sarah dies, Abraham pushes his HR policies to breaking point to recruit his oldest servant into getting a wife for Isaac. After surpassing the lowest bar imaginable, and impressed by some new bling, Rebekah returns with the servant and finds Isaac “meditating” in a field. It’s a match made in heaven…until he insists that their first time is inside his dead mom’s tent. The awkwardness continu...

Sarah laughs at God and Abraham talks back. But God’s taking it easy this week by destroying only two cities instead of the whole world. We see first-hand why Sodom and Gomorrah were in God’s crosshairs. Lot and his family escape to a cave where his daughters bring incest back in a big way. Abraham finally gets in on that trend with a huge reveal: His wife is also his half-sister!? At least they f...

Abram pretends that his wife is his sister so she can sleep with the Pharaoh. God isn’t impressed by this trick, so it’s time for a plague. God avoids math by getting Abram to count the stars to figure out his total number of descendents. Speaking of descendents, Abram has a baby with Sarai’s maid, leading to cat-fighting chaos in the family tent. Then, everyone gets circumcised. It’s a lot! (Gene...

In a shocking twist, God hits ctrl-z on the whole world by using a lot of water. Noah receives oddly detailed instructions on building an ark and quickly learns the stinky consequences of living on a boat with hundreds of animals. Noah then eats some of the animals he “saved” before getting super-drunk on homemade wine and cursing out his son, who is unfortunately named Ham. (Genesis 6:9-11:32) Jo...

It’s the pilot episode! God wiggles his arms a lot and magics up the world. Later we meet a guy who would totally rat you out in middle school, a woman who used to be a rib, and a smooth-talking snake who’s all about the apples. Too bad God has one very specific rule about that one tree…which everyone breaks. Sibling murder and incest follow! (Genesis 1:1-6:8) Join us on Patreon at www.patreon.com...