Wisdom Wednesday: Aging Wisdom's Podcast

Do you have a plan for the time when home is no longer safe and supportive for your parent/s, your spouse, or you? Families are usually pragmatic and understand that an older adult who is living with a dementia or Parkinson's diagnosis, for example, will eventually need to move to a safer, more supportive environment in the future. What are the signs that it's time for a move? In this Wi...

Don't we all need a ray of sunshine or a beacon of hope when life gets challenging?  As a family caregiver, you can become comfortable with the daily routines and rhythms of caregiving and not realize how stressed, or physically and emotionally exhausted you've become. You are doing an amazing job!  Caregiving is difficult, complicated work.  But have you ever spilled coffee in the car o...

An Aging Life Care Professional (aka geriatric Care Manager) is a health and human services specialist who acts as a guide and advocate for families who are caring for older relatives or disabled adults. Aging Life Care Professionals are educated and experienced in any of several fields related to Aging Life Care management, including, but not limited to counseling, gerontology, mental health, nur...

Families often seek our geriatric care management services when they know a parent needs help.  And it's not uncommon for the parent to resist assistance or support. Adult children come to us at their wit's end, frustrated because "My Mom is in denial that she needs help!" Or is she? Sometimes, this unwillingness to accept or recognize the need for support is the result of a &q...

Worried about your parents and fighting with your siblings over their care?  When it comes to mom and dad, even families who get along well will experience disagreements from time to time. Finding common ground and reaching a mutual understanding about how best to support your parent/s isn't always easy. With the help of an unbiased professional such as an Aging Life Care Professional ( aka G...

The systems that families encounter as they help a loved one navigate health and memory changes are dysfunctional. As Aging Life Care Professionals , aka Care Managers, we work within these systems daily -- healthcare, housing, long-term care, legal, financial, local supports -- and support families as educators, interpreters, guides, and advisors. Making the best decisions on behalf of a loved on...

As Amy Cameron O'Rourke reflects in her book The Fragile Years : "Most adult children are poorly prepared for the life-changing events that send their once-independent parents and loves into the fragile zone." (p. 15) Our role as Care Managers, at its core, is to meet family caregivers where they are, be in relationship with them, and support them on the journey.  It's not unus...

Every business has an origin story. Here's ours:  Lisa Mayfield , our founder and principal, shares here how she came to understand the challenges of dementia from an early age. Later, as a Girl Scout earning her Gold Award , Lisa spent time with two residents at a local assisted living community. Lisa cherishes the memory of those relationships and how they continue to impact her affinity fo...

Finding Balance. As Lisa shares, part of the process of helping your parent is assessing the landscape and determining if their living situation is really a crisis and requires you to act? Or is there something you can do to make their home safer; an opportunity to insert a little bit of help, starting small?   One suggestion Lisa makes is to ask your parent directly: "How will we know when i...

What is an Aging Life Care Professionals ( aka Care Managers)? In this podcast, Lisa Mayfield provides a snapshot of how we help individuals and families navigating options for aging well, caring well, and living well. Meet our colleague Harisa Paco: Why I Became an Aging Life Care Professional Who are Aging Wisdom's Aging Life Care Professionals? Read more. To learn more about Aging Life Car...

Waiting for a crisis. You’ve tried everything to help your parents and nothing has worked. Sometimes you must wait for a crisis to happen before you can make changes. Geriatrician Leslie Kernisan refers to this as “watchful waiting.” In the meantime, you continue to monitor the situation. You stay engaged with your parents but pull back on suggestions. This is an opportunity for you to get better...

Shift your perspective. If your parent is regularly experiencing memory changes, it's unlikely they  have insight that they need help, won't accept support, and are unwilling to make changes. This is where you need to shift your perspective and determine if your parent is able to make that decision anymore, or if this is a decision you're going to have to make on their behalf. You c...

How can a Certified Care Manager (AKA Aging Life Care professional) help a client, their family and supports after a fall?  A Care Manager is an essential tool in a client’s and their family’s toolbox of resources and supports. The many systems that clients and their families encounter while garnering care and support -- be it at home, in a retirement community, or a hospital or clinical setting -...

From experience, we know how important it is to get our eyes, ears, and feet checked at least annually. If you notice anything out of the ordinary, such a change in your vision, tingling in your legs, feet, and toes, or a challenge with hearing, it’s imperative you schedule an appointment with your primary care physician, podiatrist, and/or ophthalmologist. There can be a ripple effect if we aren’...

How Your Healthcare Provider & Pharmacist Can Help with Falls Prevention Health care providers have our best interests at heart. They help us maintain good health and overcome or manage a health condition. Being open and honest with them is important. If they don't know about something, they can't help us.  Talk with your doctor if you: have a concern about your balance aren’t feelin...

It's Falls Prevention Awareness Week -- September 18-24.   We'll be taking the conversation beyond the week in a series of 6 podcasts with our colleagues Sheila McKannay , Certified Care Manager, and Keri Pollock , Director of Marketing and Communications. Falls are not a normal part of aging. It's a great time to engage friends and family in an assessment of your home.    Here are...

Picking Your Battles: We cannot wrap our parents or others we care about in bubble wrap to keep them perfectly safe nor can we sit by idly allowing dad to put others at risk by driving beyond the point of doing it safely.  How can we best help them?  Let go of the perfectionist standard you are putting on your loved one's situation.  What's most important is safety.  Finding balance betw...

Worried about your parents and fighting with you siblings over their care? Even families who get along well will experience disagreements and intensified emotions from time to time when it comes to mom and dad. If finding a path forward with your siblings is adding to the stress of helping your parents, try some of ideas, offered in Helpful Links , below. Aging Life Care professionals, aka Care Ma...

Last week we talked about the mix of emotions around helping our parents, as well as setting healthy boundaries. Caregiving is hard work. Managing it all can be challenging, on top of everything else: work, other family relationships, personal commitments, and finding time for yourself. In the midst of it all, we need to remind ourselves to take time to engage in a mood shifter that can become a m...

Have you ever tried talking with your parent or partner about concerns you have regarding their health or memory? Were your concerns dismissed, minimized, or completely shut down? In this episode of Aging Parents: What You Need to Know, Lisa Mayfield , Founder and Principal, Aging Wisdom, talks with Joanie Parsons, RevelEleven, about this common challenge. As Aging Life Care professionals, we addr...

Do you find you are experiencing a mixed range of emotions when it comes to your aging parents? It's not uncommon to feel guilt, calm, sadness, anger, joy, resentment, love, and exhaustion at the same time. In this excerpt of a fuller discussion -- Aging Parents: What You Need to Know -- Lisa Mayfield, Founder and Principal, Aging Wisdom, talks with Joanie Parsons, RevelEleven, about how to s...

Talking with our parent/s or others we care about regarding their health or other topics of concern can be difficult.  And it can often be met with resistance or dismissal. But it's necessary and important, especially if you are seeing worrisome signs of cognitive or physical change. In this excerpt from Aging Parents: What You Need to Know , Lisa Mayfield , Founder and Principal of Aging Wis...

This is an evergreen topic. It's not unusual for adult children to engage us for consultation   when they become aware of uncharacteristic changes in an older person they care about and/or are concerned about their safety.  In this excerpt from a Zoom conversation (recorded December 2021, hence the references to COVID), our founder and principal, Lisa Mayfield , talks with Joanie Parsons of R...

Lack of insight is one reason an older adult may be resistant to accepting help and support. They simply don’t see the need. They are not aware of the changes that others are seeing nor how they could benefit from assistance.  With anosognosia, or lack of insight, the frontal lobe of the brain is impaired. The frontal lobe is responsible for higher cognitive functions such as memory, reasoning, so...

Reluctance to spend money is often one of the top barriers to getting parents the help they need.  Money discussions can be uncomfortable, especially with our parents. Our parents have worked hard. They’ve invested wisely and saved diligently. And now, when they may need it most, they refuse to spend the money they’ve saved on themselves. This is a common dilemma for many families. A parent who ne...