Wine, Whine, and Once

Did you miss us? That is obviously a rhetorical question, but we will happily take your praises and compliments! With our long-awaited return, we are both delighted and horrified to bring you Season 2, Episode 9: The Queen Of Hearts. It might be a complete bonkers-insane episode, filled with unsurprising reveals, offense queerbaiting, gross Hookenian commentary, and toxic mother-daughter relations...

This one is a lot, folks. Warning you now! We have zombies (Why? We don't know why!), quadruple crossing pirates, ghost kissing, and story time with Rumplestiltskin.  If NONE of that makes sense to you, be prepared for disappointment, because at the end, chances are it will continue to make zero sense! What possible need do we have for zombies? Whose side is Hook really on? Did David watch a lot o...

Settle in, kiddos: Aunt Dee has a story to TELL. Nearly a decade ago, on the day of Dee's 21st birthday, this episode ('Child of the Moon') aired on TVs all across the states. As a treat, Dee shares every gnarly, unpleasant, and downright insane detail of her 21st birthday, whether you want to hear it or not. Obviously Lo was there. Is that even a question?!  And if you think that's insane, just w...

In case you were wondering if Emma could be even more enigmatic and confusing, this episode exists to prove that aside from being lackluster at best, Emma Swan is also turned on by criminal acts. Or so we can assume, based on everything that happens in 'Tallahassee'. All jokes aside, we do finally get the Neal Reveal that we all deserve. And by deserve I mean really no one asked for it and we were...

SHUT UP NOTHING ELSE MATTERS BUT SURPRISE MIDWEEK SEBASTIAN STAN.  I mean, yeah, we get Whale's character reveal, and Zombie Daniel, and more tragedy and pain for Regina, but literally NONE of that matters. Just SEBASTIAN STAN. He has the hat and the face and the absolute absurdity that makes this episode almost bearable. Otherwise, how would we be expected to sit through another 'Regina will suff...

In case you were wondering what Captain Hook's name was before The Dark One lobbed his limb off, he was actually called Captain Hands. We can understand why he needed a rebranding. In this episode, we finally get some backstory on Milah and Rumple. And we'd like to go on record saying that Milah has never done anything wrong and would be a FANTASTIC drinking buddy. And by that we mean she would be...

Where do we even BEGIN with this one? First of all, Mama David is still alive, which is confusing in itself. By all accounts, she should have died AGES ago, and yet here we are, dealing with an undead Mama David (who apparently is named Ruth). And not only is she alive, but she has some HOT takes on what is most important in life if you are a person with a uterus. It's something, all right. In oth...

The curse may be broken, but boy howdy you might want to avoid that town line unless you REALLY preferred your cursed self! Episode two, 'We Are Both', tackles the idea of having both their cursed selves and their true selves to reconcile with, all while trying to not get nuked by the Evil Queen. The town, pretty much in a complete state of panic, turns to their very own Prince Charming to solve t...

Annnnnnd we're back! Did you miss us? That's a rhetorical question, of course you did! We are diving right in to Season 2, episode 1. After that doozy of a purple-smoke-filled cliffhanger, magic has in fact returned to Storybrooke. Which is great for absolutely no one except for maybe Rumplestiltskin. We also get some first glimpses into what the heck has been happening in the Enchanted Forest whi...

Since we gave you the drunken precap last week, we thought it was only fair to this week bring you the Sober Recap*! Locally Famous Matthew Winter, joined by Resident Ella-ologist Keiliy Winter, walks us through season 1 episode by episode, at least what he remembered of the show. Find out what things he found to be most important, what things were left out, and how many episodes are in Season 1,...

Since we notoriously have forgotten season two existed in the past, we decided the best use of our time would be to drink a lot (like...a lot!), read the Disney Plus summary for each episode, and share what we remembered episode by episode. It's safe to say our version makes about as much sense as the lore of the show itself... so enjoy! And see you on May 22nd to find out just how accurate our re...

Hey, did you guys know that Red ATE HER BOYFRIEND? Apparently we say it a lot. . .  Just a little less than a month until Season 2! We can't wait to be back with new episodes in a few short weeks. We want to hear from you! Email us at winewhineandonce@gmail.com and follow us on Instagram @winewhineandonce

Hello friends! We have a few weeks to go before we make our grand return for Season 2 (May 22nd!), but we wanted to take some time to walk you through some of the HOT NONSENSE that is that special features DVD for Season 1. From the deleted scenes (of which there are good ones that SHOULD have stayed in!), to the puzzling, baffling, slightly erotic, and apparently canonical GMA spoof, Good Morning...

We did it. We have arrived at the FINAL episode of season 1. And we are so very sorry to everyone that has stuck around this long. You might be eligible for financial compensation, we just don't know. After 21 episodes of tomfoolery and hot nonsense, Emma finally believes in magic! She teams up alongside Regina to save Henry, fails to save Henry, and then gives him true love's kiss which ultimatel...

We've arrived at the penultimate episode! Just one more to go, which means just one episode for the show to wrap up every loose end. Will they manage to do it? We just don't know!  Emma, after careful consideration, decides that kidnapping a child is PROBABLY not in her best interest and instead decides to try and work things out with Regina. It actually goes really well and Regina ends up ma...

Could it be? Do we finally figure out who the heck August Booth is? Do we finally get a reveal?  This time, the answer is YES! At long last, August Booth is revealed to be none other than... Pinocchio. Because why not! This is definitely a satisfying moment and doesn't at all leave us wondering why they spent eight episodes teasing that he was a writer. Once again, the Blue Fairy continues to...

Could it be? Do we finally figure out who the heck August Booth is? Do we finally get a reveal?  Nope. Absolutely not, you'll have to tune in next week for that! But what we do get is a highly questionable plan brought to you by August himself, a sad tale about how Rumplestiltskin's son was brought to a land without magic (by a MAGIC BEAN NO LESS!), and further proof that the Blue Fairy is in...

At long last, we get Regina's villain origin story! And now, it is not because she was angry that Snow was prettier than her, like episode one would like to have us believe. No, no. It's much more tragic than that.  Unrelated entirely, this episode is also Regina's first 'True Love's Kill': that interesting phenomenon where ANYONE she falls in love with ends up dead. Funny how that works out!...

What more could you need in an episode than SURPRISE [MID-WEEK] SEBASTIAN STAN?! And yeah yeah, we know it might not be mid-week for you listeners, but it is for us. So there. Sebastian Stan aside, episode 17 teaches us the importance of family, cartography skills, knowing how to make a hat (you just never know when you might be demanded to make one at gunpoint!). And remember, kids, if you are on...

While we all take a minute to recover from Red EATING her boyfriend (no, we aren't over it!), we dive into an episode where one of the first scenes literally depicts Red willingly and openly transforming into a wolf to go and nom on some guards. So it's better! Or worse. You be the judge! Remember that potion Snow White took eons ago? The one that would help her not love Charming anymore? Great ne...

Unhinged. This episode is completely unhinged. Red and Snow meet and investigate a wolf that is terrorizing the village. Red eats her boyfriend. Ruby gets a job working for the sheriff's office. Red eats her boyfriend. With Ruby helps Emma search for clues regarding Kathryn's disappearance. Red eats her boyfriend. A human heart is discovered that is most likely linked to Kathryn. But more importan...

Welcome to the Valentine's Day Special, where we are joined by Locally Famous Matthew Winter to discuss episode 14: Dreamy, the most romantic of Once Upon a Time episodes. We make sure to cover all pertinent topics in this episode, including the elusive Sky Mongoose and the newly announced gothness of Nicholas Cage. But the pièce de résistance is our king, Stealthy. Long may he reign.  Buckle...

What did happen to Frederick? Who knows! Certainly not us. What we do know is that David is willing to suffer the consequences of not marrying Abigail. So at the very minimum, we can say with absolutely certainty where Charming's loyalties lie and just what kind of person he is. Spoiler alert: it isn't a good kind of person!  And most importantly, the Disney+ summary continues to lie to us an...

Subtitle: Why Rumbelle shippers are all in therapy now! In this introduction to the show's #mosttoxicship, Dee dives into the rise and fall of the Rumbelle pairing with some very personal takes. In other news, Mary Margaret continues to have an affair, making Valentine's Day extra YIKES for her. Oh, and I guess Ashley Boyd gets engaged. Good for you, girl! It's a bad time.  We want to hear fr...

Oh look, another episode where a mediocre white man is undeserving of a goddess of a woman. TYPICAL. Lo and Dee have some very choice words for one King Leopold this 11th episode, and he honestly deserves them all.  Emma gets down and dirty with politics, again, because apparently she learned absolutely nothing the first time! Good job, kiddo.  But more importantly, Sidney Glass gets his origin st...