Who Shat On The Floor At My Wedding? And Other Crimes

An iconic nightclub in the North of England has become a crime scene. Someone shat in the middle of the dancefloor. Multiple times. How the hell did they do it without being seen? And more importantly... why? We expected witnesses. We hoped for suspects. What we didn't expect (this early) was a confession. Support us on Patreon http://patreon.com/whoshatontheflooratmywedding Go to our Instagram @w...

The next installment of our quarterly bonus series has landed. In this episode, we sit down with Performance Consultant Helen McLaughlin (formerly Assistant to the Assistant Detective) to conduct a comprehensive review of our investigative performance. Using industry-leading metrics and stakeholder feedback, we assess our handling of Q2’s cases: Who Shat Under The Silver Service Cloche?, Mayonnais...

It’s time for our surprise foursome virtual date with Ian and Alana. The romantic intervention nobody asked for, but one we committed to anyway. Will sparks fly? Or will this be the worst idea we've ever had? Only time will tell. But one thing is certain. Things are about to get… uncomfortable. The next case opens on July 2nd. Support us on Patreon http://patreon.com/whoshatontheflooratmywedding F...

The Willy Wonka Experience in Glasgow promised a world of pure imagination. What visitors found instead became one of the internet's most famous disasters. This week, we hear the story from the people who lived it; the actor who played 'Willy Wonka', the actress who played the "Sad Oompa Loompa" and a mother and two children who can never unsee what they saw that day. Our investigation begins with...

In this new series of quarterly bonus episodes, we sit down with Performance Consultant Helen McLaughlin (formerly Assistant to the Assistant Detective) to conduct a comprehensive review of our investigative performance. Using industry-leading metrics and stakeholder feedback, we assess our handling of Q1’s cases: Phantom Cleaner, Doggy Bag and Boob Bandit. Were investigative objectives achieved?...

It’s time for the final showdown with the perp. The trap is set. Billy will arrive at Tobin’s house, expecting to see his friend for a pop up nacho event.  But his friend Tobin will not be there, and there will be no nachos tonight.  Instead two detectives will be lying in wait, ready to ambush him, strap him up to the USB polygraph military edition v 3.0 lie detector machine, and ask hi...

The phone number we’ve been accidentally sitting on this whole time is finally called, and the voice on the other end is a shock to say the least. Is this really the work of one person? Or could there be a wider network of mayonnaise molesters operating within Detective LK’s inner circle? We return to the Red Light District to question a dangerously familiar suspect from Season 1.  And then…...

Detective Lauren Kilby is no longer just a detective. She is now a victim.  Three anonymous deliveries. Unsolicited and increasing in size. Containing a substance that she hates more than anything…  Mayonnaise.  Someone in her inner circle is behind this, testing her, messing with her. Seeing if she can finally crack a case for once.  Then, a suspect from Season 1 resurfaces, a...

A bachelor party at a beach house in Florida takes a sinister turn when someone leaves behind more than just memories. At 4.30am the groom-to-be entered the kitchen and discovered a silver service cloche covering something that nobody ordered. There’s only one way to find out what truly went down that night, and it may or may not follow standard police procedure… Support us on Patreon http://patre...

The final showdown with Dave. Detective Lauren Kilby goes full bad cop and takes zero prisoners. The clock is ticking and everything's on the line: friendship, ethics, survival, breasts and most importantly closure. Boob Bandit, IT'S TIME. Support us on Patreon http://patreon.com/whoshatontheflooratmywedding Follow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behind-the-scen...

Amber reveals who she caught chewing outside the shelter in the dead of night. Steven and Waz are brought in for questioning.  One thing is clear. All evidence and suspicion leads to one suspect. Dave. He's stayed silent for as long as he could. But nobody can stay silent forever...  Support us on Patreon http://patreon.com/whoshatontheflooratmywedding Follow us on Instagram @whoshatonth...

In 2022, six elite survivalists were clinging to life in the Peruvian Amazon after 39 days of extreme survival. Starving and desperate, one of them shot down a huge turkey-like bird. They put it in a pot to simmer through the night, and fell asleep dreaming of the meal that would carry them to the finish line. But by morning, their shelter had transformed from a place of trust and family… into a c...

It all ends today*.  It's time to chase down the last two remaining leads in our frantic mission to get justice for João; Ana from the Slovenian chain, and Joanna from the Dutch chain. Will they lead us to the source of the lie or to to João's parents? A shocking confession from a superspreader reveals how his fake story reached millions. And to close the case, we launch a social experiment d...

After asking listeners to submit their own versions of this story, we start building a global timeline. One that tracks how this story mutated and spread across borders and decades. Then we find it. A newspaper article from 1904. Suddenly João is the least of our problems. And just as we're ready to give up (again)… a key witness steps forward. Support us on Patreon http://patreon.com/whoshatonthe...

The long awaited investigation returns in our attempt to finally find Justice for João. At the end of Doggy Bag Part 2, we put out a call to listeners across the world asking for any leads connected to this story. What came back was nothing short of shocking. This is the episode where myth meets evidence. Where coincidence becomes pattern. And where we start to believe this story could actually......

Contact is finally made with the sole witness to this crime - a small leopard gecko who goes by the name Persephone. And against all odds, she leads us directly to our prime suspect. The only person who fits this crime perfectly, with both motive and intent. But when the suspect is finally confronted, a confusing confession sends us spiralling. Reality starts to wobble. And we are left asking ours...

What kind of criminal breaks into your home… and cleans it? When a man from Massachusetts leaves the house with his son, he returns to a scene of domestic disturbance. Floors scrubbed. Surfaces polished. Toys in his son’s room neatly rearranged, and intricate toilet paper roses left in the bathrooms. Nothing stolen. Nothing damaged. Just a mysteriously cleaned house, with no explanation why. At fi...

How good are we at solving crimes… statistically speaking? After several months of operating the Unqualified Detective Agency, we finally attempt to answer the question no one asked but everyone fears: what is our actual crime-solving success rate? A supposedly simple calculation quickly descends into bickering, selective memory, creative accounting, and a spirited debate over what should and defi...

On 14th December 2019, a child-sized decorative Santa vanished from The Strawberry Hall pub in Dublin. But this wasn’t your average festive felony. Within 24 hours, photos of the kidnapped Santa began appearing on a dedicated Instagram account, mocking the pub, and taunting Ireland. And then came the twist no one was prepared for.
Santa wasn’t just stolen…
he was being held for ransom.
For €5,000,...

In the tense finale of Rural Rectal Rampage, we finally meet the shadowy figure pulling the strings behind the entire scandal. A seemingly simple confrontation unravels into something far more complex… an unexpected motive that forces everyone to rethink everything they thought they knew about the crime… and about themselves. As we piece together the true intent behind the Rampage, we arrive at a...

A prime suspect suddenly blocks Karen from all form of communication, disappearing without a trace. Meanwhile, a reckless pyramid scheme involving teenagers spirals wildly out of control, taking the case to fresh levels of unprofessionalism. Desperate for answers, Karen takes stalking to bold new heights, while Lauren conducts a final high pressure interrogation that could make or break the entire...

The investigation reaches new levels of desperation.  We find ourselves loitering outside a school, attempting to brief two teenagers on an undercover mission. We consult a nurse about the medical implications of anal insertions. And out of nowhere, a mysterious stranger appears with divine intervention. But nothing prepares us for the final question....is this scandal confined to Chipping No...

The quiet streets of Chipping Norton are no longer at peace. A phantom prankster - or an organised ring of pranksters - is targeting local stores and tagging innocent household items with stickers that say “for rectal use only.” As the town’s elderly residents grow increasingly distraught, the pressure mounts on Detective LK and KW to put an end to the madness.  Follow us on Instagram @whosha...

Just as Detective LK and KW thought they were closing in on the truth, one shocking revelation blows the whole case wide open. Confusion mounts, new leads emerge, and a tender goodbye is said to Joao, the four legged creature at the heart of the story. Buckle up for the ride - the mystery of this canine's demise is far from over. Follow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case eviden...

Through a dark twist of fate a dead dog named Joao vanishes in the most unlikely theft imaginable. A bizarre mistake spirals into a rollercoaster of chaos, deception, and the relentless hunt for answers. Each revelation pulls us deeper into shadows where nothing is as it seems. Set against the glittering façade of Paris’s Champs-Élysées, one haunting question lingers: will justice for Joao ever be...