Who Am I Really?

Pam, from Emeryville, CA, told me her desire to search started when she was a kid, but it was Oregon’s laws that changed everything for her search. When she met her birthmother she encountered a woman who couldn’t relay the details of her past, leaving Pam with only her paternal side of the story. He says that what is alleged against him is not true, but Pam is having a ha...

After the adoptive father she loved so much died, Alison learned her birth father, Tim, was looking for her and she took it as a good sign of things to come. Sadly she found herself disappointed in him, and later in her birth mother, Jean, whom he contacted without telling her. Alison had no idea her birthmother struggled with mental illness, so their contentious relationship was in...

Andrew lives in Murphy, Oregon, near Grant’s Pass but his is an east coast story. Andrew grew up kinda feeling like an odd man out in his family, not fitting his parents ideas of who he would be. In an amazing coincidence, his pen pal relationship with an elementary school class was key to unlocking his adoption reunion search. The open road took him to meet his birth father wh...

Jessica is a rare native, born and raised, in Las Vegas, Nevada. She shares how she found her biological relatives through DNA testing despite her best attempts to get information from the Mormon church, an entity focused on global genealogy. Jessica discovered she looks like her birth families and has similar traits to them. But Jessica also learned that for all she has in common with her birth m...

Laura called me via Skype, would you believe, from Falkirk Scotland. Laura told the story of her childhood knowledge that she might have siblings out in the world, and her quest to meet them. When she met her biological mother things started slowly as Laura tested the woman to make sure she wasn’t going to leave again — and she didn’t — then she did. Laura’s deve...

Dan has barely told anyone the his whole story until this episode. He shared that he was in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) as an infant. Then his son's rare medical condition and his wife’s ability to share her heredity while he could not was a catalyst for his search. Dan is thankful for the warm welcome he’s received in his paternal family, and is still hoping that his birthmo...

Before becoming an adoptee advocate Rich was searching for his own identity. As a child, his older adopted sister vengefully told him their mom wasn’t his real mother. It made him wonder who the other woman could be. When he was in college, his adoptive parents gave him an envelope of non-identifying information. Many years later they handed him another document that revealed his bi...

Joseph is a really outdoorsy guy who lives in Edmonds, Washington, about 30 minutes north of Seattle. He likes mountain biking, trail running, camping and skiing. Joseph grew up in a family of several children, some biological, and one other adoptee you might already know. He told me that he never could have pinpointed what it was, but he always seemed to be searching for something....

Steve, from London, Ontario, Canada shares his story of being adopted after his mother lost a child. Steve and his mother never connected, in fact, she stifled his social development and seemed to be holding him back because he didn’t look like their family, and didn’t fit in. As a teen, Steve was out on his own in the streets when he learned that he had fathered a ch...

Kyle tells the story of growing up, towering over his mother and sister and looking very different from them, but being loved. Locating his birth mother he was amazed to see someone he looked like but struggled to get along with as she battled her own pain. In the end, he was able to truly connect to his Native American heritage while discovering the pain that was deep within him. H...

Katherin called me from Atlanta, Georgia. She grew up in a challenging environment with an adoptive mother on dialysis, an adoptive father who disengaged from parenting, and life lessons that taught her to suppress her emotions. Seeking connection, Katherin turned to the affection of men to fill the emotional voids in her life. In reunion, Katherin discovered her birth mother's struggles with ment...

Amy shared her story with me from Carlisle, Pennsylvania. She learned about her adoption before her teen years—a revelation that left her in shock but also helped her make sense of her family dynamics. In college, Amy’s coming out created a rift within her family, leaving her worried that pursuing an adoption reunion might lead to similar tensions. Thankfully, Amy’s birth mother embraced her happi...

Virginia spoke to me from New York. When she was young, her single mother struggled to raise her and her two younger brothers, battling addiction and mental illness, which ultimately led to their family being separated. While Virginia was reunited with her mother, she was not reunited with her brothers and was devastated by the terrible news that she would never see them again. As an adult, Virgin...

Bobbi, who lives in Montgomery County, Maryland, reached out as an ally to the adoptee community. After we chatted, she realized something important about her own journey. She shared her tale of generational kinship adoption, the heartbreaking discovery that her beloved granny had likely endured an assault, and the DNA discoveries of multiple adoptees who were placed from her own family tree. This...

Jean, from Boulder City, Nevada, shared that her raising parents had their flaws, from addiction to enablement, but she knows they loved her and they did the best they could with what they had in their toolbox. Searching for her birth mother, the woman was found quickly, their resemblance was shocking, and after discovering some disturbing facts about the woman's past, maternal reunion remains an...

Curt, from in Las Vegas, Nevada, felt like something was off in his family when he was a kid, so he he set out to find his own way. As an adult, Curt got curious about locating his birth family, but chickened out on submitting a DNA sample to launch is search for reunion. On his maternal side, Curt was finally able to meet his birth mother, but she seems to be keeping him at arm's length. Curt's b...

Patrice, from Northern Virginia, said that in her house adoption was never discussed when she was a kid. So her curiosity led to a secret search as an adult. While her birth mother had no plans to meet Patrice, in reunion, her birth father told everyone about his long lost daughter. Unfortunately, the loneliness of the COVID 19 lockdown drove a wedge between Patrice and her birth father. This is P...

Sharon, from Springfield, Missouri, grew up in a small town as part of a large family. After leaving home, she became pregnant and was abandoned by the birth father. Following the placement of her daughter, she suffered in silence for years. For decades, Sharon hid her pain behind a smile—until the day her daughter found her. When they reconnected, they finally saw the beauty in each other. Sharon...

Janet spoke to me from her home in Nantucket, Massachusetts. She grew up with an adoptive mother who presented to the outside community as a saint whom everyone loved. But at home she was unkind to her family. Janet said she spent her whole life wanting to know her birth mother when she finally found the woman. Janet's birth mother didn't want to know her and only met her after her other children...

Baya called me from Basking Ridge, New Jersey. She was raised in Germany by parents who grew up in post-World War II Germany, along with an abusive older brother. In her town, everyone knew Baya was adopted, and she even knew who her birth mother was. However, to this day, Baya has not yet reached the point where she feels ready to take the next step—coming face to face with the woman she has know...

Jim, from Gilroy, California, Jim was born in the early 1960s in San Jose, California. His adoption story is complex, shaped by the trauma and loss his adoptive parents faced after losing their youngest biological son. For Jim, the love he sought from his adoptive father was elusive, replaced by emotional and physical abuse in his adoptive family. As Jim searched for his biological family he was d...

Moses is an adoption trauma educator and therapist, but his own personal journey as an adoptee is one of hardship and resilience. To use his words, Moses was stolen from South Korea at the age of two, by his famous mother, to grow up as part of a transracial, international, and high profile family. However, beneath the surface of fame Moses faced deep trauma, isolation, and tragedy. His story rais...

After two years in foster care, Janet was adopted into the foster family. An interracial woman, she grew up in a white midwestern community in Ohio. Janet recalls the love she felt from her family and the isolation of being one of two people of color in her town. Through the International Soundex Reunion Registry (ISRR.net) she connected with her birth mother who had been waiting for her...

John called me from Charlotte, NC, but his story starts in Ontario Canada. He shares how he grew up in a strict home and how even though he was mischievous, he didn’t think his actions warranted his unceremonious delivery to boarding school. After decades of dedication to his search, he finally discovered his birth mother’s identity, accidentally uncovered deeply held lifelong...

Marilyn called me from Southeast Tennessee. When she met her natural mother, she finally learned the story of what the woman had been through as the pieces of 50 years of history returned to her memory. Maryilyn admits she didn't have a huge void to fill in seeking reunion but that being in reunion has opened up closeness with her natural mother that some of her closest friends have waited years t...