Who Am I Really?

Darryl, from Australia, admits he had a challenging childhood from his relationship with his adoptive father, to their family's need to move around a lot because they were so poor, and his experience learning he is a late discovery adoptee. Darryl describes himself as a person for whom the truth is very important, so as an adult he discharged his adoption setting his personal record straight. This...

Wendy, from Minnesota, had a lot of information about her natural mother and assumed the woman would want to know her, but that wasn't the case. They corresponded once, solely for her natural mother to share clinical information, then the door closed. Wendy said finding her paternal sister Jen, a woman she could have met years earlier at church, has been a redemptive blessing that's brought Wendy...

Brandi, who called me from myrtle Beach, South Carolina, is an inquisitive person adopted in to a family with a history of scholars, which is rare for a black family in the south. DNA led Brandi to a cousin who was determined to help her figure out their biological connection and which of two men were her birth father. Coincidentally Brandi studied the music of a uniquely east coast southern diasp...

When Susan, from Irving, Texas, found her natural mother, she learned she was conceived in transit when two young lives collided, then never saw one another again. Her birth mother's life seemed too chaotic the women to make a deeper connection. The woman ended things abruptly when Susan didn't behave the way she wanted. Susans's paternal connection, while a complete surprise, was filled with joy...

To date, I’ve only interviewed a few guests who weren't adoptees, and this will be another one. Today you're going to meet Anne-Marie from Southern California who drafted an impassioned submission to be on the Who Am I Really podcast. At first I wanted to stay true to the focus of the show, sharing adoptee voices. But I quickly realized there is no place, that I know of, for natural mothers to tel...

Liz, from Michigan, grew up in a neighborhood full of adoptees, so it wasn’t until years later in the Dominican Republic teaching a class with a lot of adoptees in it that her own adoption sunk in. After finding her natural mother through an intermediary they reunited during a sleepover in a hotel room where they stayed up all night. Their bond solidified when Liz’s daughter was born bringing them...

Jim, who now lives in Delaware, said growing up he had no desire to search for his first family. After his parents passed and he found his adoption name change form, his feelings about a search changed. While he missed his biological mother, one of her lifelong friends shared some intimate pieces of the woman’s life, including his birth father's name. Jim made the trip to Texas to meet his birthfa...

Gloria called me from Texas where she grew up with Mexican parents. In younger days she tried to find the ways she looked like her family. In adulthood, following the whim of some co-workers, Gloria did a DNA test naive to what it could possibly reveal. In a matter of months she was plunged into the deep end as a late discovery adoptee. She began drinking to cope, accidentally pushed away her pate...

Lisa called me from New Jersey to share her story of growing up in an abusive home. She had one unrelated adopted sister who didn’t have the same experience in their house that Lisa had. Lisa always felt like the odd person out and hoped that reunion with her birth mother would be a rescue from those feelings. The opposite was true with her maternal connection which fell apart twice, but Lisa’s pa...

Breanna learned that she was fostered then adopted but for financial gain and she described her home as a hostile environment. Her adopted mother was abusive, and Breanna ultimately ran away from home to the military. But before bootcamp she contacted her birth mother, and learned the hard truth about her conception. In reunion, she was forced to watch her birth father’s judgment for his actions....

In Debby’s home adoption was an open topic because she was fostered by her grandparents and adopted by their daughter. Unfortunately, she wasn’t welcome as an adoptee by her adopted father and she and her family faced abuse by her stepfather. In reunion Debby found out her birth parents tried to stay together and she has full blood siblings. But her biological father has tried to deny she is his,...

Alex, whom I spoke with live in Los Angeles, California, said growing up, he could never quite pinpoint the out-of-place feeling he carried in his adopted life. When his children began asking about family medical history, an incredibly lucky mistake with 23andMe DNA testing kits led Alex to his full-blood brothers. Alex and his brothers agree that the timing of their reunion was fortuitous for eve...

Mikayla (alias), from Australia, never wanted to confront her adoption until she began thinking about starting a family of her own. Through DNA testing, she uncovered both maternal and paternal connections, each marked by different levels of openness and receptivity that evolved and, in some cases, completely flipped. Ultimately, Mikayla earned the trust of her birth mother and met her face to fac...

Dr. Abby Hasberry spoke to me from Baltimore, Maryland. Transracially adopted, Abby was brought into a family that believed in racial harmony but didn’t support her ethnic expression as a teen. She became a first mother and was misled about the choices she made when placing her son. She has endured the ups and downs of adoption reunion with her firstborn and her own biological family. Today, Dr. A...

Alejandra, who spoke to me from Tampa, Florida, said that growing up she towered over her Mexican parents as a blonde white woman. They loved her deeply, making her feel safe she feels loyalty towards them. But adoption reunion, found Alejandra twice. Her maternal side had searched for decades to find her. Her paternal aunt found her then introduced her to her half-Brother. Alejandra has special g...

Yvette, from Memphis, TN, shared that In her childhood no one would say the word "adopted",. After a tense moment in the neighborhood and a series of events, Yvette figured out the truth. In reunion, Yvette learned she was placed for adoption at an odd place in the birth order of her siblings, corroborating an unsettling suspicion she had about her parents' relationship. However, she has also met...

Lauren, from southwest England in the UK, grew up knowing she was adopted and was loyal to her family, but applying to university and thinking through her life made her want to trace her roots. When she found her birth mother, she met a woman who started off chilly but warmed up when Lauren got to meet her parents, and Lauren learned that mother and daughter have something in common. Her birth fat...

Nicole, from outside London in the UK, grew up in Australia. As a teenager, Nicole struggled with her adoption, so after reaching out for help, her birth mother was found, but that caused challenges with her adoptive parents. Soon after, Nicole’s birth father was found and proudly showcased, but she admits she wasn’t ready for that paternal relationship and wishes now that she had invested more in...

Greg, from Minneapolis, Minnesota, said when his son was born, he thought he could stroll into the D.C. adoption system to ask for his adoption records, but he learned there were significant barriers to access. He’s one of the few people who found reunion through a registry, meeting his birth mother just in time to form a bond, then inheriting the true documentation of her past, more valuable than...

Christy, who called me from Utah, was deeply loved by her adoptive parents, who prayed she would be delivered to them. But throughout childhood, she was unable to shake the feeling of being abandoned. In reunion, Christy heard the hard truth of her conception, self-medicated to escape her feelings, then recovered to center herself in motherhood. Christy shared the importance of telling our stories...

Neshia, from outside of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, said her birth mother lived the street life and exposed her children to the full dark side of the choices she was making back then. Neshia credits one amazing foster family with showing her what a normal life as a child should be, but it was short-lived. Transplanted from the city into a rural transracial adoption, she was cast out as a teen, and t...

Today is a special double adoptee episode with Noreen and Adrian. They both live in Massachusetts, but they were together in New Hampshire to meet someone special in Noreen's search. Her adoptive mother was very supportive and even spoke with her first mother. For Adrian, the maternal search has had its ups and downs, including finding a grave, but their stories ended up converging when they found...

Lori, from Missouri, said that growing up she wondered who her birth mother was, but it wasn’t until she received her original birth certificate that the gravity of her identity truly hit home. Incredibly, documenting her search on social media led her to a very supportive search angel who already knew exactly who Lori was looking for. She tried to correspond with her birth mother, but Lori was bl...

 Sharla, from West Texas, grew up never wanting to find her birth family. But in truth, she knows she was suppressing that feeling. After a DNA test, Sharla finally figured out she had made a paternal connection, but she didn't realize how close she had actually come to meeting her birth father. Unfortunately, Sharla has gotten mixed signals from her birth mother, and now the woman has left her wi...

Elina, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, was born in Russia. She spent her early years in her birth family’s care before moving into foster care. Then, as a minor, she finalized her own adoption before departing for America. Elina grew up as one of four adoptees, each experiencing the impacts of adoption at different stages of their lives. Elina has been contacted by her extended family, but she’s no...