Whine with Some Cheese

On this episode of Whine with Some Cheese , Eugenia and Avery return to Macbeth and immediately regret it, because Macbeth 1.3 is what happens when a thunderstorm hosts a networking event and the only career coaches available are three witches with questionable hygiene and even worse customer service. First, we learn the witches are not mysterious forces of fate so much as petty grievance machines...

On this episode of Whine with Some Cheese , Eugenia and Avery are dragged into Macbeth 1.2 , a scene that begins with a literal bleeding Captain and somehow still finds time for poetry, workplace-appropriate metaphors, and extremely casual leadership decisions. While production continues its war on luxury by providing string cheese instead of Brie, Duncan asks the most unnecessary question imagina...

This week on Whine with Some Cheese , Eugenia and Avery are forced, against every reasonable skincare guideline, to confront the opening of Macbeth . It is thunder. It is lightning. It is rain. It is an aggressively open place that threatens silk blouses, cashmere, and the very concept of indoor civilization. We meet three witches who treat scheduling like a personal attack on etiquette, communica...

This week on Whine with Some Cheese , we stagger to the finish line with Plato’s Republic , Book X, the grand finale where Plato decides the true threat to civilization is… poetry , paintings , and apparently beds . First, Plato puts art on trial. He argues that poets and painters don’t create truth, they create imitations , and not even first-rate ones. Cue the infamous bed saga: there’s the Form...

This week on Whine with Some Cheese , we drag ourselves through Plato’s Republic , Book IX , aka the book where Plato looks directly at anyone with taste and says: “That’s an unnecessary pleasure, and it’s ruining your soul.” Socrates traces how the democratic personality (lots of desires, lots of vibes, lots of “I contain multitudes”) allegedly devolves into the tyrannical person: a human being g...

This week on Whine with Some Cheese , we suffer through Plato’s Republic , Book VIII , where Plato explains, at exhausting length, how every government inevitably collapses into something worse, mostly because humans have the audacity to want things . We start with the “ideal” aristocracy : philosopher-kings, gold souls, everyone knowing their place, and (unfortunately) a whole lot of communal liv...

This week on Whine with Some Cheese , we tackle Plato’s Republic , Book VII: the one with the Allegory of the Cave , aka Plato’s signature horror story about being forced into personal growth with absolutely no ergonomic seating, no consent forms, and, most unforgivable, no SPF. We start underground: prisoners chained in a den, staring at a wall of shadows cast by a fire while random people parade...

This week on Whine with Some Cheese , we drag ourselves through Plato’s Republic , Book VI , where Socrates takes one simple claim, “philosophers should rule”, and turns it into an aggressively long audition process for the VIP Lounge of Truth . First, Plato tries to define the philosophical nature like he’s hiring for an impossibly selective role: quick intelligence, love of truth, courage, tempe...

This week on Whine with Some Cheese , we get ambushed by Plato’s Republic (Book V… and then some): the part where Socrates warns Glaucon about “three waves” of controversy and then proceeds to surf directly into the most unhinged policy proposal meeting in human history. Wave One: Women as guardians. Equality? Love that. But Plato’s version includes mandatory naked gym training with the men , plus...

This week on Whine with Some Cheese , we drag ourselves through Plato’s Republic , Book IV: the book where Socrates looks directly at the concept of personal happiness and says, “No ❤️” because the goal is the greatest happiness of the whole city , not “disproportionate happiness” for any one class. A devastating idea, frankly. We start with Plato’s least glamorous proposal yet: the guardians, the...

This week on Whine with Some Cheese , we suffer through Plato’s Republic , Book III , aka the chapter where Plato stops pretending he’s “just asking questions” and fully commits to being a controlling stage mom for an entire city-state . First, he comes for the arts. Homer? Censored. Tragic underworld poetry? Deleted. Famous men weeping? Apparently illegal: lamentation is for women (and not even “...

This week on Whine with Some Cheese , we stumble into Plato’s Republic , Book II , where Glaucon and Adeimantus decide they’re not leaving until Socrates finally answers the question: is justice actually good… or do we just pretend because we’re scared of consequences? Glaucon opens by forcing Socrates to sort all “goods” into three neat little categories (as if we have the emotional bandwidth), t...

In this episode of Whine with Some Cheese , we drag ourselves (emotionally, spiritually, and optically, because the font is criminal) through Plato’s Republic , Book I : the book where Socrates takes one peaceful stroll to Piraeus and immediately gets soft-kidnapped into an all-night debate about justice . We cover the whole chaos tour: a torch race on horseback (a fire hazard), a cloak-grab that...

Eugenia and Avery reach the grand finale: Act 5, Scene 2 of Hamlet, aka a meticulously curated catastrophe where the cheese is warm, the wine is peasant-adjacent, and Denmark hosts the worst-planned fencing event in recorded history . Hamlet casually recounts his sea-voyage admin crimes (rewriting royal orders with a signet ring, like it’s a normal Tuesday) while Horatio enables in silence. Then O...

Eugenia and Avery are forced into Hamlet ’s gravedigger scene, a bleak, dirt-forward nightmare featuring manual labor , legal debates about “self-drowning,” and a man cheerfully singing while tossing skulls like party favors. While two clowns litigate Christian burial rules (as if customer service exists in the afterlife), Hamlet shows up to clutch Yorick’s skull and spiral into the world’s least...

Eugenia and Avery suffer through Hamlet Act 4, Scene 7 , where Claudius does what he does best: dodges responsibility and turns crisis management into a group project. Instead of dealing with Hamlet like a functional adult monarch, he sweet-talks Laertes into a revenge plan that is somehow both overcomplicated and deeply tacky : a “friendly” fencing match featuring a poisoned sword , plus a backup...

This week on Whine with Some Cheese , Eugenia and Avery battle hostile studio air, a tragic room-temperature oat milk latte, and the indignity of Hamlet, Act 4, Scene 6, aka “Another room in the Castle,” aka the scene where Shakespeare gives us zero décor details but maximum logistical nonsense. We start with Horatio standing around in an undefined castle room when a servant announces visitors: sa...

This week on Whine with Some Cheese , Eugenia and Avery arrive expecting aged Gruyère and a respectable Bordeaux… and instead get string cheese, boxed wine , and Hamlet Act 4, Scene 5, aka the episode where everyone loses the plot at maximum volume in the world’s least hospitable castle. First, Elsinore’s front desk staff (read: Gertrude ) refuses to see Ophelia, because apparently grief requires...

This week on Whine with Some Cheese , Eugenia and Avery drag themselves into Hamlet Act 4, Scene 4, the episode where Denmark becomes a literal hallway for other people’s nonsense and Hamlet discovers (again) that thinking isn’t the same thing as doing. While Fortinbras casually marches an army across Denmark, because apparently borders are just a suggestion, we meet a Captain who explains they’re...

This week we’re dragged, against our pores’ consent, into Hamlet Act 4, Scene 3 , the scene where Denmark becomes a full-blown workplace safety incident and everyone pretends that vibes are a substitute for basic crisis management. Claudius is in panic mode because Polonius is dead, missing, and apparently unrefrigerated (health code violations everywhere), so he does what every weak manager does:...

This week, we’re back in Hamlet Act 4, Scene 2 , aka: the episode where two exhausted courtiers ask one normal question and get rewarded with riddles, metaphors, and emotional violence, plus dairy served at a criminal temperature. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern arrive doing what every underpaid support staffer does in a collapsing organization: trying to locate a problem the boss created . Their req...

Today’s episode drags us—against medical advice, into Hamlet Act 4, Scene 1 , aka: the morning-after group meeting where everyone talks about murder like it’s a scheduling conflict . We open with Claudius, Gertrude, and the two interchangeable assistants, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, entering all at once, too many bodies, too little ventilation, and not a single person offering glacial wine. Clau...

Today’s episode is what happens when you mix room-temperature Riesling , sweating brie , and Hamlet Act 3, Scene 4, a scene so chaotic it should come with a cleaning fee and a warning label for anyone who owns textiles. We start with Polonius doing what he does best: being invasive . He coaches Gertrude on how to “lay home” to Hamlet, then promptly hides behind an arras to eavesdrop on a private m...

Today we were promised artisanal brie and a 2015 Bordeaux. Instead, we got Hamlet Act 3, Scene 3 : a room in the castle, a murderer having a guilt spiral, and a prince who could solve everything in one stab, but chooses philosophical pickiness instead. Claudius decides he “likes not” Hamlet and ships him to England with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern (two human beige cardigans). Polonius, who treats...

Today’s episode is Hamlet, Act 3 Scene 2 , also known as: Hamlet decides he’s the Stanislavski of Elsinore and everyone else has to suffer through his notes. We arrive already injured by Times New Roman, hostile studio lighting, and the fact that Shakespeare believes people “enter” and “exit” like it’s a cardio routine. Hamlet opens by lecturing the Players on how to act, no “sawing the air,” no o...