Whine with Some Cheese

Eugenia and Avery limp across the finish line of Macbeth, Act Five, Scene Eight , fueled by lukewarm coffee, oat milk betrayal, and the righteous belief that Shakespeare owes them compensation. The scene opens with Macbeth refusing to die like a “Roman fool,” which the hosts interpret as peak coward energy from a man who has spent the entire play detonating everyone else’s lives. Macduff storms in...

Eugenia and Avery are dragged, once again, into Macbeth Act 5, Scene 7 , a scene that opens with immediate alarums and the kind of chaotic stage energy that should come with a content warning and a hydration station. Macbeth storms in complaining he has been “tied to a stake” and must fight “bear-like,” which sends the hosts into a passionate defense of bears as dignified boundary-setters who do n...

Eugenia and Avery drag themselves into Macbeth Act 5, Scene 6 at an hour that should be illegal, only to discover that Malcolm’s big tactical masterstroke is, once again, “everyone carry branches and pretend we are landscaping.” They are forced to process drum-and-colours chaos, bough-based “leafy screens,” and the kind of loud, visually aggressive staging that would get a modern venue shut down f...

Eugenia and Avery are back in Macbeth Act 5, Scene 5 , and once again Shakespeare refuses to give them a single scene where people eat brunch, communicate clearly, and heal with mimosas. Instead, they get a drafty castle, a siege, a mysterious “cry of women,” and Macbeth attempting to run a kingdom like it is a hostile coworking space. Macbeth orders banners hung and tries to act unbothered about...

Eugenia and Avery wanted Netflix rom-coms and reality dating show meltdowns. Instead, they get Macbeth Act 5, Scene 4 , aka the moment Shakespeare makes an entire army commit to an outdoor team-building exercise with drums, colours, and a suspicious amount of forestry . From the aggressively vague setting (“country near Dunsinane,” like it is a sketchy real estate listing) to the stage direction “...

Eugenia and Avery arrive ready for brie and emotional stability, and instead get Wisconsin cheddar and Macbeth in full managerial meltdown mode . In Act 5, Scene 3 , Macbeth paces around Dunsinane like a man who thinks he is immortal because a trio of witches gave him a loophole prophecy, and he takes that confidence out on everyone with a pulse, especially the terrified servant he humiliates with...

Eugenia and Avery are back, and somehow Macbeth has found a new way to be loud without even showing up onstage . In Act 5, Scene 2 , a group of Scottish lords gathers to gossip, strategize, and casually announce that an English-backed force is closing in on Dunsinane, led by Malcolm, Siward, and Macduff. Which sounds heroic in theory, but in practice reads like an aggressively percussive group pro...

Eugenia and Avery arrive at Macbeth Act 5, Scene 1 already offended by the concept of Dunsinane Castle, because it sounds cold, Wi-Fi-free, and built entirely out of ankle pain. Unfortunately, the scene is not about renovations or guest amenities. It is about Lady Macbeth sleepwalking through a full psychological breakdown while two employees stand around providing the least helpful form of “care”...

Eugenia and Avery stagger into Macbeth Act 4, Scene 3 already furious, mostly because this scene opens with Malcolm requesting a “desolate shade” as if England is not one continuous, branded experience of gloomy outdoor seating. Macduff immediately counters with sword-first urgency, and the hosts are forced to watch two stressed men try to save Scotland while somehow making everything sound like a...

Eugenia and Avery stumble into Macbeth Act 4, Scene 2 , where the setting is Fife, the vibes are damp, and the home security plan is essentially “hope for the best.” While they try to recover from the insult of having to be awake at eleven, they watch Lady Macduff begin the scene in full grievance mode: her husband has “flown the land,” and she is not taking notes on patience, projection, or emoti...

Eugenia and Avery are dragged into Macbeth Act 4, Scene 1 , aka the mustiest cooking segment ever written: three witches circling a cauldron, chanting like they are auditioning for backup vocals, and tossing in an ingredient list that sounds like a chaotic Brooklyn tasting menu curated by someone who hates joy. They open by litigating the cave’s total lack of air conditioning, lighting, and basic...

Eugenia arrives vibrating with rage because today’s script is Macbeth Act 3, Scene 6 , also known as “two nobles talk around the truth so hard they practically sprain an ankle.” Avery is already emotionally compromised thanks to a manicurist cancellation, and now they are forced to sit through Lennox and an aggressively unnamed Lord delivering the most passive-aggressive political gossip ever reco...

Eugenia is already at her limit after offensive tablet font choices and an over-foamed almond milk latte, and Avery is one wrong hair wave away from a full meltdown. Unfortunately, today’s assignment is Macbeth Act 3, Scene 5 , where the witches convene on a damp-sounding heath and somehow manage to create the most toxic group project in all of classical literature. Enter Hecate, the self-declared...

Eugenia is one fluorescent bulb away from suing the studio, Avery is mourning the cheese segment because the brie has gone full dairy puddle, and together they’re forced to relive Macbeth Act 3, Scene 4 , the banquet that proves you can, in fact, ruin a dinner party so badly it becomes folklore. Macbeth opens the evening with peak seating-chart dictatorship, ordering everyone to “know your own deg...

Eugenia arrives furious about the studio vibe, Avery is one construction smell away from suing the city, and together they’re forced to dissect Macbeth Act 3, Scene 3 , a.k.a. the murder plot that collapses under the weight of bad scheduling and worse lighting. The scene opens on a lawn with a gate, which already feels like a logistical nightmare. Three murderers stand around bickering about who i...

Eugenia is trying to set boundaries, Avery is grieving an oat milk latte, and somehow they are both forced into Macbeth Act 3, Scene 2 , which is basically a masterclass in wealthy guilt spiraling with zero coping skills. Lady Macbeth opens the scene like an anxious event planner who cannot stop checking the guest list, immediately asking whether Banquo is gone. A servant delivers the kind of info...

Eugenia’s kombucha is tragically room temperature, Avery had to survive the insult of smelling asphalt through a car vent, and somehow that still is not the worst part of their day, because Macbeth 3.1 exists. This scene opens with Banquo doing the most, congratulating Macbeth while also mentally screaming “you played foully” and quietly spiraling about the prophecy that gives Macbeth the crown bu...

On this episode of Whine with Some Cheese , Eugenia and Avery are forced outdoors against their will for Macbeth 2.4 , the scene where Scotland’s vibe collapses so hard that even the sun gets dragged into the scandal. We open with an “Old Man” who insists on saying he is seventy in math, immediately launching into weather trauma like he is the original doom-scroller. Ross joins in and announces th...

On this episode of Whine with Some Cheese , Eugenia and Avery suffer through Macbeth 2.3 , a scene that starts with an unacceptable cheese plate and immediately escalates into the longest, most aggressive knocking sequence in literature. First up: the Porter, who responds to a late-night emergency like he is hosting open mic night at the gates of hell. Instead of opening the door, he riffs about f...

On this episode of Whine with Some Cheese , Eugenia and Avery tackle Macbeth 2.2 , the scene where the murder is technically completed, but the real crisis becomes noise control, basic cleanliness, and one man’s inability to follow the simplest instructions in the history of crime. Lady Macbeth has done the prep like a stressed event coordinator. The guards are drugged with possets, the daggers ar...

On this episode of Whine with Some Cheese , Eugenia and Avery tackle Macbeth 2.1 , a scene that begins with sleep deprivation, missing clocks, and enough open flame to void every insurance policy in Scotland. Banquo and Fleance wander the castle after midnight with a torch, a sword handoff that screams child labor, and the kind of nervous energy that would be solved instantly by modern melatonin a...

On this episode of Whine with Some Cheese , Eugenia and Avery stumble into Macbeth 1.7 , a scene that begins with confusing stage directions, questionable vocabulary, and enough open flame to get the entire castle shut down by a modern fire marshal. The atmosphere is already hostile. There are hautboys, there are torches, there is the mysterious appearance of a “Sewer” that sounds like plumbing bu...

On this episode of Whine with Some Cheese , Eugenia and Avery endure Macbeth 1.6 , a scene that is technically about royal hospitality but mostly reads like a luxury real estate walkthrough hosted by a king who will not stop reviewing the breeze. Duncan arrives at Macbeth’s castle and immediately starts praising the “pleasant seat” and the air like he is writing a five-star review for a boutique h...

On this episode of Whine with Some Cheese , Eugenia and Avery tackle Macbeth 1.5 , the scene where Lady Macbeth receives a letter, reads it once, and immediately decides the appropriate response is spiritual invocation, full-scale event planning, and a complete rebrand of her personality. It begins with Macbeth writing to his “dearest partner of greatness,” which sounds romantic until you realize...

On this episode of Whine with Some Cheese , Eugenia and Avery drag themselves through Macbeth 1.4 , otherwise known as the scene where a king micromanages an execution, hands out praise like free samples, and accidentally hosts the world’s most obvious setup for disaster. We start in Forres, in the least helpful stage direction of all time, “a room in the palace,” and immediately get a flourish th...