WHEN DATING HURTS

Becca was coming out of a marriage that had lost all of its energy. She then thought she had found a guy who provided all she was missing.  For a while, he seemed to be "that guy", but when he showed his real self, he was more than she could handle. She never anticipated the trouble she was in for, and when things started to break loose, it was a turbulent storm. Hang in there throughout this two-...

Becca was coming out of a marriage that had lost all of its energy. She then thought she had found a guy who provided all she was missing. For a while, he seemed to be "that guy", but when he showed his real self, he was more than she could handle. She never anticipated the trouble she was in for, and when things started to break loose, it was a turbulent storm.   Hang in there throughout this two...

Patrisha McLean was married to a world-renowned singer for 29 years. It started as a fairytale relationship but devolved into a 24/7 nightmare. For 29 years! Like many survivors, it took Patrisha a long time before she recognized this as classic domestic violence. Getting out almost cost her life.  This episode teaches what can happen to anyone who doesn't know the warning signs. It also informs y...

WARNING: The descriptions of events in this episode can be triggering. I was contacted by Detective Kristine Holt (Texas) who is a loyal fan of the WHEN DATING HURTS podcast. In fact, she uses it for training. Besides a wealth of knowledge about handling "domestic" cases, she wanted to speak with us about a case she will never forget. The domestic violence abuse suffered for years by Lisa Waldon i...

This is part two of a two-part narrative with Ashley. Ashley's story covers many of the classic warning signs of an abusive dating relationship. She went head over heels for a guy (Mark) and that led her to overlook clues that indicated this relationship was headed for trouble. Praise goes to Ashley for hanging with Mark for so long. She gave her best to get him on the right track. The more she ga...

This is part one of a two-part narrative with Ashley. Ashley's story covers many of the classic warning signs of an abusive dating relationship. She went head over heels for a guy (Mark) and that led her to overlook clues that indicated this relationship was headed for trouble. Praise goes to Ashley for hanging with Mark for so long. She gave her best to get him on the right track. The more she ga...

This is part two, the final episode of JaNae's story. . JaNae was studying to become a nurse. Tony was studying to be a doctor. To all who knew them, this looked like the perfect marriage of two smart professionals. Their parents were happy and proud of them. Nobody expected what was really happening in their “perfect world”. At home, when Tony couldn’t get his way or felt like dispensing some abu...

This is part one of two parts. JaNae was studying to become a nurse. Tony was studying to be a doctor. To all who knew them, this looked like the perfect marriage of two smart professionals. Their parents were happy and proud of them. Nobody expected what was really happening in their “perfect world”. At home, when Tony couldn’t get his way or felt like dispensing some abuse, JaNae was bore the br...

Molly’s story is so much like others you might have heard. She met someone she really liked. He had some issues, but she wanted to continue with the relationship.   They met in college. They had little in common, but he was so different and exciting. He fit neatly in the category of a “bad boy”. Her parents and her brother thought he was bad news, but Molly carried on with this relationship. Molly...

This is part one of two parts.  Molly was so much like other survivors you might have heard in this podcast. She met someone she really liked. He had some issues, but she wanted to continue with the relationship. They met in college. They had little in common, but he was so different and exciting. He fit neatly in the category of a “bad boy”. Her parents and brother thought he was bad news, but Mo...

This is part one of three parts with Laurie and her turbulent marriage to a law enforcement officer. Laurie wanted to tell the WHEN DATING HURTS podcast her “doozy of a story”. Those were her words.  The point she wanted to make was being married to a serial abuser is complicated exponentially when he is also a law-enforcement officer. Typically, these interviews take between one and a half to two...

This is part two of a two-part true dating abuse/violence story with Olivia Engstrom. Olivia was stretched to the limit by a man who swept her off her feet from the start. Never before had she felt so good about a guy—or about herself—as she did when dating him. That was his insidious scheme to capture her and keep her. At times, Olivia’s story will take your breath away. You will hear how this ma...

This is part one of a two-part true dating abuse/violence story with Olivia Engstrom. Olivia was stretched to the limit by a man who swept her off her feet from the start. Never before had she felt so good about a guy—or about herself—as she did when dating him. That was his insidious scheme to capture her and keep her. At times, Olivia’s story will take your breath away. You will hear how this ma...

This is part three of three parts with Laurie and her turbulent marriage to a law enforcement officer. Laurie wanted to tell the WHEN DATING HURTS podcast her “doozy of a story”. Those were her words. The point she wanted to make was being married to a serial abuser is complicated exponentially when he is also a law-enforcement officer. Typically, these interviews take between one and a half to tw...

This is part two of three parts with Laurie and her turbulent marriage to a law enforcement officer.  Laurie wanted to tell the WHEN DATING HURTS podcast her “doozy of a story”. Those were her words. The point she wanted to make was being married to a serial abuser is complicated exponentially when he is also a law-enforcement officer. Typically, these interviews take between one and a half to two...

This is part three of three parts. Stephanie always had a hard road ahead of her. From the moment she was adopted, there were scant times when life showed her an easy path. And yet, she has continually remained ultra-positive.   It's clear the one person Stephanie believed in most was herself. Listening to her story, your heart will go out to her years before she ever met up with Michael. It's a g...

This is part two of three parts. Stephanie always had a hard road ahead of her. From the moment she was adopted, there were scant times when life showed her an easy path. And yet, she has continually remained ultra-positive.   It's clear the one person Stephanie believed in most was herself. Listening to her story, your heart will go out to her years before she ever met up with Michael. It's a goo...

Stephanie always had a hard road ahead of her. From the moment she was adopted, there were scant times when life showed her an easy path. And yet, she has continually remained ultra-positive. It's clear the one person Stephanie believed in most was herself. Listening to her story, your heart will go out to her years before she ever met up with Michael. It's a good thing, because this man brought p...

Romana Frey's experience as a survivor of domestic abuse led this tireless advocate to her “life’s purpose”: working toward the elimination of violence against women, specifically violence that occurs in the home. Our interview would be full enough with her story of abuse from her parents and, later, her husband, but it also includes decades of stalking, a suicide within her family, and severe bru...

This is part two with Amy. Be sure to listen to part one first. We pick up on Amy and Brian as the turbulence he causes gets much worse. Amy holds onto the hope and good feelings she once felt about Brian, but he has other ideas.  Amy exhibits many of the characteristics we have seen in other abuse victims: She is affable, generous, optimistic, loyal and forgiving. He is the opposite of the man sh...

This is part one of two. It's a story you can relate to — and learn from. See how innocently this relationship began. Everything seemed perfect. It looked like it had a long future. What took place later could happen to anyone. Amy fits many of the characteristics of an abuse victim. She is affable, generous, optimistic, loyal and forgiving. Quite the opposite from the man she met online, thought...

Mikkel Becker joined with me months ago for her interview. Since then, I am happy to say she and I have kept in touch. She asked if there was anything she could do for the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast. Mikkel offered to record her thoughts looking back upon two marriages she had with husbands who turned out to be abusers. What she created is a stream of thinking I hope you agree is priceless in its h...

Part two of Meagan's story of abuse picks up immediately after she escaped certain death had she fallen from her fourteenth-floor apartment balcony. Her fall would have been precipitated by her boyfriend, Max.  She is not sure what o do about this abuser/boyfriend. Is he an unfortunate victim of himself, or a serial abuser bent on making her life a living Hell? Meagan is presented with a few chanc...

Part one of Meagan's story of abuse, takes her from Canada to New Zealand to Australia. Along the way, she meets a man she thinks is just the one she needed at just the right time.  Her narrative soon becomes an inexplicable story of serial mistreatment. Like many accounts of abuse told on this podcast, Meagan's story left me speechless many times. How such an agreeable, young, smart woman could b...

My guest, Kaytee Gillis, is a psychotherapist, author, and consultant working with survivors of traumatic relationships—whether familial or romantic. She is also a domestic abuse survivor herself. She will talk about this. Her recent book, Invisible Bruises: How a Better Understanding of the Patterns of Domestic Violence Can Help Survivors Navigate the Legal System, sheds light on the ways that th...