What's Your Damage?

Episode 31: AJ & AJ are talking about the examples their parents set—and the unhealthy relationship habits they had to unlearn as adults. "J" kicks things off by reflecting on the song "You Don't Bring Me Flowers," the tune her parents considered  their  love song despite it actually being about a relationship falling apart. Looking back, she realizes that their marriag...

Episode 30:  AJ & AJ are talking first impressions—and all the ways they can fool us. "A" kicks things off by reflecting on the surprising way people react to Little A, and how adults often project their own judgments onto a toddler. How can a baby possibly have that kind of power? That conversation leads "A" into a deeper reflection on motherhood, raising a child while hea...

Episode 29: AJ & AJ Are Talking Breakups—But Not the Romantic Kind This week, AJ & AJ are diving into a different kind of heartbreak: the friendships, communities, and organizations we eventually have to leave behind. J kicks things off with stories from her years working at a theater camp, where the "Head Honcho" relied on bullying tactics and cult-leader charisma to keep people...

This week, AJ & AJ dive into American Psycho . First, "A" shares the story of her ex's sister, a woman whose sweet smile hid some seriously mean-girl energy. Despite "A's" genuine attempts to build a sisterly bond (including thoughtful gifts and endless patience), every effort seemed to be met with coldness and judgment. From a disastrous Memorial Day BBQ that someh...

AJ and AJ dive into female empowerment through two deeply personal lenses: literature and pop culture. “J” kicks things off with The Giver of Stars by Jojo Moyes, a historical fiction novel set in 1930s Kentucky about the Packhorse Librarians, women who delivered books by horseback to remote Appalachian communities. The story’s themes of friendship, courage, access to books, and women defying expe...

This week on What's Your Damage? , AJ and AJ revisit some of their greatest hits in the Regret Department. “A” kicks things off with a trip back to college, when she somehow convinced herself that being a theater kid dating a baseball player was a good idea. What followed was a masterclass in accepting less than the bare minimum: being treated like a booty call, getting cheated on, getting fin...

In Episode 25, AJ and AJ talk about the moment they realized their parents weren’t always going to feel cool, untouchable, or permanent. J's story starts with watching Oscar nominees together and trying to talk about  Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon  — only to hear it dismissed as “too loud.” Maybe it was the swooshing kicks, the clanging swords, or all those soft wind chimes. Either way, it ma...

Episode 24 of  What’s Your Damage?   returns to the COVID Pandemic as AJ and AJ reflect on the isolation, uncertainty, and strange rhythms of the pandemic years. "A" talks about feeling cut off from her artistic community while desperately trying to stay connected through the internet, and how Bo Burnham’s  Inside  — widely acclaimed and award-winning — perfectly captured that moment in...

In this episode of  What’s Your Damage? , we kick things off with a shoutout to our friends over at  Pod Chef  — because nothing pairs better with emotional damage than a perfectly plated podcast. Then AJ and AJ dive headfirst into two memories about sexism, survival, and becoming the hot, powerful women they were always meant to be. "A" takes us back to 2012 NYC, where she was grinding through th...

In this episode, AJ & AJ dive into the many forms cheating can take—both physical and emotional—and how blurry those lines can get. “J” shares a wild story from her teenage years: her high school boyfriend disappears at scout camp (before “ghosting” was even a term), only for her to later chase closure—literally—by driving 110 mph through mountain roads to win him back after his rebound fizzle...

AJ and AJ talk about fame, recognition, and the deeply held childhood belief that being discovered is just a matter of singing loudly enough near shrubbery. As “A” confidently states, “There is no one happier than a child star,” before unpacking her full-blown obsession with All That —aka her weekly pilgrimage into the fantasy that she was Amanda Bynes. Then “J” shares her own grassroots PR strate...

It’s like no time has passed for the audience—but AJ & AJ are back after “A” gave birth, and they’re returning in EPIC fashion… just like the movie they’re diving into: Titanic . “J” shares the unexpected moment of her theatrical sexual awakening courtesy of James Cameron (aka “Jimmy Cam Cam”), and—spoiler—it’s not the scene you’d think. Meanwhile, “A” recounts watching the film at a sleepover...

AJ and AJ bring in their husbands this week—because nothing says “strong relationship” like letting your partner publicly assign you fictional character energy. The mission? Decide which movie and TV characters they’re most like… and the answers are a little too spot-on. "J" kicks things off with Happiest Season , where her husband compares her to Jane—the sister who takes care of everyo...

AJ and AJ dive into some spicier territory this week. As “A” nears the end of her pregnancy, she opens up about her evolving feelings around intimacy, desire, and what’s been sparking her interest lately—including the complicated pull of watching sexy content online. She reflects on the tension between personal enjoyment and concerns about how that content is made. “J”, coming from a recovering Mo...

AJ and AJ start off hot with a very serious debate: what is the best soda? (This is important journalism.) From there, they pivot into baby shower planning for Baby A—because nothing says “welcome to the world” like a root beer taste test. But in honor of Baby A, the gals take a turn into… daddy issues. Buckle up. “J” shares about losing a close friend and how, in an effort to cope, she and her hu...

“A” kicks off the episode 16 with a second-trimester update and how she’s prepping for baby life—Little A is destined to be a bookworm, whether they like it or not. Then we rewind and get into breakups… the messy, formative, occasionally unhinged kind. “A” shares the story of her ex-boyfriend—an addict she met under chaotic circumstances (he literally couldn’t find his car). What followed was a wh...

AJ and AJ compare the wildly different ways they were raised. “J” talks about growing up extremely sheltered—so sheltered that when she had to choose a song for a rally in high school, she picked one without realizing what the phrase “midnight toker” meant. Her innocent mistake unexpectedly gave her a kind of credibility at school she’d never had before. “A”, on the other hand, had the opposite ex...

In this episode, AJ and AJ dive into the magical, chaotic world of high school theater—the place where many self-proclaimed theater nerds first found their people. "A" kicks things off by sharing how performing in Bye Bye Birdie helped her discover two important things: her love for acting and the kind of friendships that stick around long after the final curtain call (and yes, she’s sti...

This week, AJ and AJ get honest about advocating for your own needs in relationships. “J” unpacks how hard it has been to ask for help — even from her husband of 18 years. From lying sick on the floor but still struggling to say “I need you,” she recognizes the codependent habit of keeping score: doing good deeds in the quiet hope that someone will notice and reciprocate without being asked. &quot...

AJ and AJ talk about growing up in families where cutting the tension wasn’t optional — it was survival. They unpack what it meant to walk on eggshells in their families of origin and the roles they learned to play to keep the peace. “A” shares how she became the family tension diffuser, quoting The Simpsons at just the right moment to break the pressure in the room — unknowingly sharpening her ta...

In this week’s episode of What’s Your Damage? , AJ and AJ dive into their very different sexual awakening moments — and let’s just say, the vibes were not the same. “J“ spills about her lifelong devotion to Christian Bale (yes, even factoring in the infamous on-set rant) and how her love story really began with the Newsies . Something about scrappy newsboys in suspenders and fireman-adjacent outfi...

In episode 10 of What’s Your Damage? , AJ and AJ talk about the deep desire to escape into a different family. Growing up in traumatic family systems shaped how both of them turned to art—TV, books, and stories—as a way to survive the painful reality of their home lives.  “A” is 13 weeks pregnant at this point and reflects on her childhood, where the TV was always on. As a kid, she escaped into Fu...

AJ and AJ kick off Episode 9 with the choice of a generation: Edward Cullen or Jacob Black? From there, they dive headfirst into the teenage experience — from Levi Lovin’, ( dry humping ), going to parties, and the longing to be seen and find love and possibly made over! “J” talks about Can’t Hardly Wait and how, thanks to a strict Mormon upbringing (and the whole “appearance of evil” thing), she...

In Episode 8, AJ and AJ dive deep into what it means to break the cycle of abuse, especially when the harm comes from the people who are  supposed  to love you most—sisters, friends, and family. "A" shares the story of a friendship with a narcissist, beginning with intense love bombing and quickly evolving into something darker: becoming a supporting character in someone else’s carefully...

AJ and AJ get real about their first periods — including the awkward, traumatizing and even serendipitous moments that came with them. “J” shares how a trip to a waterpark turned into actual trauma when she was forced to wear a tampon way too early — locked in a bathroom with her mom and sisters, all of them screaming at her to just put it in — turning what should’ve been a fun day into total pani...