What's Your Damage?

Episode 41 of  What’s Your Damage?  brings a first for the show: AJ and AJ welcome their editor, KT, as their very first guest. Together, the three of them unpack abandonment — being left, leaving others, and the ways we sometimes abandon ourselves. KT kicks things off by tracing the roots of her codependency back to high school, when a complicated relationship with a close friend and make-out bud...

AJ and AJ are middle-aged now, which means it’s time to look back at who used to be in charge: their parents. “J“ remembers blasting Billy Joel with her dad and how quickly a fun moment could shift when his need for control took over. One Sunday, a harmless evening of cards, singing, and good clean Mormon fun turned into “J” and her brother quietly managing their dad’s mood — something she now rec...

Episode 39: AJ and AJ begin this episode with a trigger warning as they explore experiences of violation, entitlement, and the anger that comes from realizing someone else believed they had a right to you. “J” starts with her time performing in The Homecoming by Harold Pinter, where she played the only woman in the cast—a character who, quite literally, gets passed around the men in the family. Af...

Episode 38 is all about dreams evolving —what happens when the life you once wanted stops fitting, and how letting go of an old definition of success can make room for something more meaningful. “J” takes us back to 2011, when she moved away from her hometown, her husband, and her entire community for a new hospital job in a new city. She worked overnights and took the train back to visit her husb...

AJ and AJ kick off this episode with a content warning: child abuse is discussed. This week’s damage is hypocrisy , specifically, the strange rules parents create for their kids while somehow finding themselves exempt from those same rules. “A” starts with Mommie Dearest and the infamous “no wire hangers” scene, which hit a little too close to home. Watching the movie helped her recognize just how...

Episode 36: Boundaries This week, AJ and AJ are talking boundaries: setting them, holding them, and dealing with the people who suddenly become very confused about what a boundary is the second it applies to them. "A" opens up about the trauma she experienced growing up and the long process of coming to terms with the reality of her childhood. After cutting family out of her life, she ev...

In Episode 35 of  What’s Your Damage? , AJ and AJ talk about rejection—and what happens when the thing you thought would validate you becomes the thing that breaks your heart. "A" starts us off with her early days as a young comedian in New York City, where the theater culture could be deeply toxic and so much of your identity depended on whether you were “chosen.” Being cast on a Lloyd...

In Episode 34 of What’s Your Damage? , AJ and AJ talk about loss—and the unexpected things that helped them survive it. “A” begins with her junior year of high school. Until then, she had been a fairly average student who put very little effort into school. That changed when she met a teacher who inspired her to apply herself and recognized what she was capable of. For the first time, a teacher to...

In Episode 33, AJ & AJ explore one of the most universal yet isolating human experiences:  loneliness . They reflect on the different forms it can take—from feeling alone inside a marriage to feeling disconnected from other people, even when you're surrounded by them—and how art became a lifeline when human connection felt out of reach. "J" begins by sharing the profound loneline...

Episode 32:  Nobody Told Us About Our Bodies This week, AJ & AJ dive into one of the quietest sources of childhood shame: not being taught about their own bodies. They explore how silence around anatomy, puberty, and what's "normal" left them carrying fear, confusion, and trauma long into adulthood. "A" takes listeners back to the summer after eighth grade, when she att...

Episode 31: AJ & AJ are talking about the examples their parents set—and the unhealthy relationship habits they had to unlearn as adults. "J" kicks things off by reflecting on the song "You Don't Bring Me Flowers," the tune her parents considered  their  love song despite it actually being about a relationship falling apart. Looking back, she realizes that their marriag...

Episode 30:  AJ & AJ are talking first impressions—and all the ways they can fool us. "A" kicks things off by reflecting on the surprising way people react to Little A, and how adults often project their own judgments onto a toddler. How can a baby possibly have that kind of power? That conversation leads "A" into a deeper reflection on motherhood, raising a child while hea...

Episode 29: AJ & AJ Are Talking Breakups—But Not the Romantic Kind This week, AJ & AJ are diving into a different kind of heartbreak: the friendships, communities, and organizations we eventually have to leave behind. J kicks things off with stories from her years working at a theater camp, where the "Head Honcho" relied on bullying tactics and cult-leader charisma to keep people...

This week, AJ & AJ dive into American Psycho . First, "A" shares the story of her ex's sister, a woman whose sweet smile hid some seriously mean-girl energy. Despite "A's" genuine attempts to build a sisterly bond (including thoughtful gifts and endless patience), every effort seemed to be met with coldness and judgment. From a disastrous Memorial Day BBQ that someh...

AJ and AJ dive into female empowerment through two deeply personal lenses: literature and pop culture. “J” kicks things off with The Giver of Stars by Jojo Moyes, a historical fiction novel set in 1930s Kentucky about the Packhorse Librarians, women who delivered books by horseback to remote Appalachian communities. The story’s themes of friendship, courage, access to books, and women defying expe...

This week on What's Your Damage? , AJ and AJ revisit some of their greatest hits in the Regret Department. “A” kicks things off with a trip back to college, when she somehow convinced herself that being a theater kid dating a baseball player was a good idea. What followed was a masterclass in accepting less than the bare minimum: being treated like a booty call, getting cheated on, getting fin...

In Episode 25, AJ and AJ talk about the moment they realized their parents weren’t always going to feel cool, untouchable, or permanent. J's story starts with watching Oscar nominees together and trying to talk about  Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon  — only to hear it dismissed as “too loud.” Maybe it was the swooshing kicks, the clanging swords, or all those soft wind chimes. Either way, it ma...

Episode 24 of  What’s Your Damage?   returns to the COVID Pandemic as AJ and AJ reflect on the isolation, uncertainty, and strange rhythms of the pandemic years. "A" talks about feeling cut off from her artistic community while desperately trying to stay connected through the internet, and how Bo Burnham’s  Inside  — widely acclaimed and award-winning — perfectly captured that moment in...

In this episode of  What’s Your Damage? , we kick things off with a shoutout to our friends over at  Pod Chef  — because nothing pairs better with emotional damage than a perfectly plated podcast. Then AJ and AJ dive headfirst into two memories about sexism, survival, and becoming the hot, powerful women they were always meant to be. "A" takes us back to 2012 NYC, where she was grinding through th...

In this episode, AJ & AJ dive into the many forms cheating can take—both physical and emotional—and how blurry those lines can get. “J” shares a wild story from her teenage years: her high school boyfriend disappears at scout camp (before “ghosting” was even a term), only for her to later chase closure—literally—by driving 110 mph through mountain roads to win him back after his rebound fizzle...

AJ and AJ talk about fame, recognition, and the deeply held childhood belief that being discovered is just a matter of singing loudly enough near shrubbery. As “A” confidently states, “There is no one happier than a child star,” before unpacking her full-blown obsession with All That —aka her weekly pilgrimage into the fantasy that she was Amanda Bynes. Then “J” shares her own grassroots PR strate...

It’s like no time has passed for the audience—but AJ & AJ are back after “A” gave birth, and they’re returning in EPIC fashion… just like the movie they’re diving into: Titanic . “J” shares the unexpected moment of her theatrical sexual awakening courtesy of James Cameron (aka “Jimmy Cam Cam”), and—spoiler—it’s not the scene you’d think. Meanwhile, “A” recounts watching the film at a sleepover...

AJ and AJ bring in their husbands this week—because nothing says “strong relationship” like letting your partner publicly assign you fictional character energy. The mission? Decide which movie and TV characters they’re most like… and the answers are a little too spot-on. "J" kicks things off with Happiest Season , where her husband compares her to Jane—the sister who takes care of everyo...

AJ and AJ dive into some spicier territory this week. As “A” nears the end of her pregnancy, she opens up about her evolving feelings around intimacy, desire, and what’s been sparking her interest lately—including the complicated pull of watching sexy content online. She reflects on the tension between personal enjoyment and concerns about how that content is made. “J”, coming from a recovering Mo...

AJ and AJ start off hot with a very serious debate: what is the best soda? (This is important journalism.) From there, they pivot into baby shower planning for Baby A—because nothing says “welcome to the world” like a root beer taste test. But in honor of Baby A, the gals take a turn into… daddy issues. Buckle up. “J” shares about losing a close friend and how, in an effort to cope, she and her hu...