What Matters Most

We are told that failure builds character, that it teaches resilience and it points the way forward. But in real life, failure is usually less inspiring than that. It is embarrassing, exposing and harder to learn from than the slogans would have us believe. In this episode, Antonia and Jacqui take apart the psychology of failure: why it hurts so much, why shame so often gets there first and why ou...

In this episode, Antonia and Jacqui explore the shift from the older, more clinical definition of trauma to a broader, more psychologically nuanced understanding: that trauma is not only about what happened, but about what happened inside us as a result, particularly when an experience leaves us overwhelmed, unsupported, unseen, or unable to fully process it. They unpack the difference between dis...

Forgiveness is often spoken about as a virtue, but in real life it can feel messy, resistant, and anything but straightforward. In this episode, Antonia and Jacqui unpack what forgiveness actually is, why it matters for our mental and physical wellbeing, and how to begin moving from hurt and resentment toward something more peaceful..with or without reconciliation. See omnystudio.com/listener for...

For something so ordinary, communication is anything but simple. We tend to think of poor communication as a dramatic failure. A screaming match, a betrayal, a rupture…but the reality is it is often far more subtle than that. It lives in misread signals, conversational habits, little dismissals and the moments we leave feeling less held than we hoped. This week, Antonia and Jacqui turn thei...

How do you know if you’re in a good relationship…Not a perfect one, but a genuinely good enough one?  In this episode, Antonia and Jacqui take that question seriously and pull it apart with far more honesty than romance culture usually allows. They break down what being in a ‘good enough’ relationship actually means? How to tell the difference between ordinary disappo...

Ambition is one of those qualities we are taught to admire almost without question. In this episode, Antonia and Jacqui unpack ambition as both a personality trait and a cultural obsession. They explore the difference between intrinsic and extrinsic ambition, why striving can be life-giving when it is rooted in values and meaning, and why it can become corrosive when it is driven by status, compar...

There can be a particular kind of melancholy that settles in when you catch your reflection in the mirror of your life and realize it looks different from the blueprint you once carried so confidently. The slow-dawning awareness that somewhere between your twenties and now, the GPS of your dreams got quietly recalibrated. In the latest episode of What Matters Most, Antonia Prebble and clinical psy...

Change is the one thing we count on in life and yet it gets easier. Whether it's a career shift, a new relationship, a move, or just a subtle shift in priorities, change has a way of throwing us off balance. In this episode of What Matters Most, Antonia and Jacqui take on the complex topic of navigating life transitions, big and small. Our brains treat change as a threat, even when it's something...

In this episode of What Matters Most, Antonia and Jacqui tackle one of psychology's most misunderstood concepts: boundaries. Despite becoming a pop psychology buzzword, the reality of setting healthy boundaries is far more nuanced than social media makes it seem. The hosts explore why boundary-setting feels so intimidating, particularly when online discourse oversimplifies their true purpose. As A...

In the hierarchy of modern relationships, friendship occupies a peculiar position: essential to our wellbeing, central to our happiness, yet always relegated to the emotional back burner when life gets serious. Romance gets the red carpet but friendship gets the leftover energy. The episode looks at the particular challenges of millennial friendship maintenance, the juggling act of careers, partne...

Originally inspired by Mel Robbins ‘Let Them Theory’ in this episode of What Matters Most , Antonia and Jacqui dive into the psychology of control; why we crave it, where it comes from, and how it can impact our lives and relationships.  Together, they unpack the evolutionary roots of our need to control, the difference between agency and unhealthy control, and why sometimes letti...

This week, Antonia and Jacqui perform surgery on one of society's most beloved obsessions. It’s the quiet saboteur of your happiness, hiding behind seemingly admirable qualities like ambition and high standards. It can push you to achieve great things, but perfectionism can also leave you paralyzed, afraid to start anything you might not excel at. Jacqui breaks down the science behind perfec...

We have never had access to so much information. But does it help or hurt us when it comes to seeking answers to support our mental health? The answer may surprise you. Because there was so much more to cover in last week's episode, Antonia and Jacqui dive even deeper into the world of therapy. They tackle the avalanche of self-diagnosis, offering advice on how to ensure you get the correct diagno...

…Ok but what is therapy?  Firstly (and I know we say this every episode) but this is a chat that everyone can benefit from. Whether you have your psychologist on speed dial or have never seen the inside of an office.  This week Jacqui and Antonia demystify the process and delve into its importance beyond just addressing crises. They highlight the way it can be used to support ment...

This week's conversation between Antonia and Jacqui can be a…well, sensitive subject.  Historically, being called ‘sensitive’ has been equated with weakness. Thankfully, because of thorough research from numerous scholars (we are looking at you Dr. Arthur and Dr Elaine Aron) we have a much deeper understanding of what it means to be ‘a sensitive person’.  A...

This week Antonia and Jacqui are exploring a topic that is another favorite in the self help section of bookstores.   Habits..they touch every aspect of our lives. From the morning routines that set the tone for our day, to the more unconscious patterns that can hold us back. As always the girls simplify the science behind how we form habits and how they shape our success. They also expl...

95% of all parents will have issues with their connection at one point or another. Often it comes after having children, as parents grapple with maintaining their relationship with each other while dealing with the intense demands of raising kids. But you're not alone.  Clinical psychologist Jacqui Maguire and Antonia Prebble talk about how to open up and have potentially vulnerable conversat...

As a clinical psychologist, Jacqui Maguire sees burnout a lot. She's watched it become more and more prevalent in the last few years, and is well versed in its signs, symptoms, and common causes. She's also seen it become a bit of a buzzword. One that can be used to describe how people are trying to keep up with fast-paced lives. But, in this episode Jacqui and Antonia Prebble unpack what burnout...

Hello to our beautiful listeners! We are so sorry but we have a slight change of plan and will now be going on a break for the rest of this year. We just wanted to update you on what has been going on behind the scenes. And, not to be too mysterious, but we do have some exciting news in here! x  We can't wait to get back to sharing 'What Matters Most' with you next year - We have so much plan...

Ah, money: Right now, money – or the lack of it – is a real hot-button topic as New Zealanders battle a cost-of-living crisis. If you’ve found yourself worrying about finances this year, first of all you’re FAR from the only one, in fact, 57% of Kiwis surveyed in recent studies are worried, too. So in this episode of What Matters Most, you’ll hear Jacqui and Antonia t...

We all experience it – the dizzying highs of helpful emotions, and the crushing lows of the unhelpful ones. In this episode, Jacqui explains exactly what is emotion regulation – and how, if you develop some simple skills, you’ll be able to identify and navigate your thoughts and feelings in a far healthier way. You’ll hear heaps of tips and tricks as to how to actually labe...

It’s been an incredibly challenging year for many Kiwis, and to those who are rebuilding their lives after the impacts of a natural disaster, Jacqui and Antonia send you their love and support. It’s an unfortunate sign of the times that this week, close friends Jacqui Maguire, a clinical psychologist, and Antonia Prebble, actor and presenter, tackle the subject that has been most reque...

You’re far from being alone if you identify as a people pleaser – more than half the female population are too! In this episode Jacqui will talk you through how you can identify whether you (or someone you have a close relationship with!) are a people pleaser. You’ll hear a bit of live therapy, as Antonia opens up about her own experiences as a people pleaser and Jacqui works thr...

This is the one Jacqui has been very much looking forward to discussing – and it’s a biggie: attachment styles. Yip, our relationship in those very early years with our primary caregiver does go on to impacts us as adults – not just in our romantic relationships, but in all facets of our lives, from friendships to the workplace. Gaining an understanding of how your early relation...

We’re back! In Volume VII of What Matters Most , close friends Jacqui Maguire, a clinical psychologist, and Antonia Prebble, actor and presenter, get to the bottom of what the mental load is, how this dynamic occurs, what we can do to change our own behaviours and how we can have those tricky conversations with our partners to create a more equal distribution of tasks in our homes. It's a co...