We Only Do One Take Podcast

Welcome back to the show! Turch rants about people not using the traffic zipper method of merging onto freeways and highways. Kieran tells us another million dollar idea: self-driving cars that can be used as mobile brothels. He will investigate further. Turch gets Kieran to psychoanalyse another bride who set out a list of 10 rules for her husband. In the style of Art of the Deal, Turch helps the...

Episode 43 – The Race that Stops a Nation – We Only Do One Take Podcast Welcome back to the show! To celebrate a long weekend for the Melbourne Cup, the boys have special returning guest Ryan on the show. Turch rants about how useless real estate agents have been during his time looking for a new place to live. The boys talk about The Simpsons again, and how sad it is that Apu will be leaving the...

A track featuring Kieran from episode 42 of the show!

Episode 42: Bob and Jane! In this weeks episode… Memes are making children fat! Kieran rants about the lack of food at a Hackathon! He also learn about 4Chan. The Flushmate pressure-assisted toilet flushing system injures 1,500 people . The worlds dumbest criminals are caught red-handed, by returning the scene of the crime. And, Americans are advised to NOT dress their chickens in Halloween costum...

We are back with season 3 and episode 41 of the We Only Do One Take Podcast! Sadly we are suffering a bit of the holiday blues. Sigh In this weeks episode, Turch rants about Americans, aeroplane toilets and hand dryers. Kieran also proves he is the weirdest man on earth. Trump watch is back; includes news about a hooker, 1/1024th native american and Ye. Kieran is back at it again with the super in...

Episode 40 – The Midlife Crisis Special Holy crap we have made it to 40 episodes! In this episode, we wanted to give back to all the fans and special guests and make it a huge rant based episode. Big should out to Niall, Alice, Damien, Emkew and Cienan for their rants! In the news this week: auctioneering skills are used to shut down a protester, an Italian sex doll brothel is shut down Al Capone...

Episode 39 - Dogs Gone Wild In this weeks episode…Female Monkeys don’t trust males, even when they are right! Turch rants about the decline in Uber’s service! We have more PornHub insights, plus Kanye West is going to be a creative director for the PornHub Awards Los Angeles. Dog sitting gone wild! A owner comes back to find shirtless man in living room making a porno. If you think that is bad, a...

And we are back with the show about nothing, the We Only Do One Take Podcast. As we steadily climb up to special episode 40, the boys are slowly preparing. Plently of goodness coming your way. In this week’s episode, Turch rants about boring people that have no hobbies and shamelessly promotes his gig at Bar 303 in Northcote, Melbourne, Victoria on the 8th September at around 9pm. Be there! Kieran...

Remember folks, when we change a Prime Minister, change your smoke alarm!! At least you can rely on stability from the We Only Do One Take Podcast! In this weeks episode…. Kieran rants about free speech! Turch reveals the secrets on how to make your dating profile, excellent. An air marshal is arrested, Taco Bell revealed as the healthiest fast food restaurant, and watch out Jess, science reveals...

Holy crap how did we reach episode 36? Who the hells knows. Kieran tells us a story of his dad, and how they plan to smuggle booze onto a boat, and the crazy lengths they are going about it. Trump Watch is back on the menu, and the We Only Do One Take Podcast is happy to report that Trump is still in the WWE Hall of Fame and the President of the United States. Turch tells us a story of schadenfreu...

Episode 35 - Deep Fried Chicken Diapers In this weeks episode…. Chickens are wearing diapers, fed up residents give monkeys the pill to save crops, Kieran rants about truth being late, man refuses to remove Nazi flag after claiming neighbour hacked WI-FI. Plus the Pussy Melter is back by popular demand. Turch also rants about the all the stupid national awareness days. Listen. Rinse. Repeat. Make...

Im this weeks episode, an important announcement from the Centre of Disease Control and Prevention, DON’T re-use your condoms! We also have more stats from the Pornhub insights team. Jess returns and shows us a singing dog, and Turch rants about music! Make sure you follow us on SoundCloud, iTunes, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube! If you would like to send a rant to the show, record it on your pho...

After a weeks break, we are back with Hip hop artist IKE Major joining us on the podcast! As always, the most important news of the week is covered! A man has sex with woman, but doesn’t have a penis! Turch rants about news sites that have too much advertisement... and Kieran learns about music! Plus we rip into that famous person (you know, the one who made a sex tape). Make sure you follow us on...

Episode 32 – Rude Guitar Pedals – We Only Do One Take Podcast Turch is charged enormous fees, Kieran continues his love of Elon Musk and both boys hate shirts. Kieran tells stories about another film he has seen, and rates a film five stars. What?! Turch talks about Steel Panther, and the worst bit of censorship in a very long time. A FIFA World Cup update and prediction (The boys like different t...

Episode 31, Bear Patrol – Have you paid your bear tax? In this weeks episode… a bear drinks a margarita and takes a dip in a California hot tub. Outrage in England, as beer glasses seized for being to small! We tell you the best way to eat popcorn. Pornhub have a new care team, and you won’t believe what they are doing now! And… we have some EPIC rants – don’t talk when your partner is reversing t...

World Cups chickens, digging big trenches, pizza delivery firemen and a bunch of stories about dogs; this episode has it all! Plus, Turch rants about how people compete about how little sleep they have, and a whole bunch of other things that these people do sync up to create the most annoying kind of person. Kieran on the other hand talks about the struggle of hearing loud people on the train. Wit...

Episode 28 – Have you invested in Pot Coin yet? In this podcast, Kieran at 28 years of age, learns what a Calzone is. Char wins the sexiest cow competition. We update you on Kim Jung Un’s toilet that flew first class to Singapore! Thanks to Dennis Rodmas (former NBA player) who helped set the meeting between Trump and Un! He also invests his money on potcoin.com. More importantly, our CEO provides...

Episode 27 – Don’t Be Late for Dinner Another great episode, we have another Billion dollar idea! There needs to be men couches that serve you drinks while your wife shops. Miss America scraps the swimsuit competition, Kieran and Turch are not happy! Jess joins us again as our guest and too our surprise Kieran turns up on time! By the way, don’t be late to dinner! Bonus material at the end of the...

Episode 26 – Puppet Jizz - We Only Do One Take Podcast It’s episode 26 of the show, and the boys are still in the dark. Please, send Kieran your light bulbs. He really needs them. Kieran starts the show off by requesting for more guitar solos, which never happens. Then he rants about doctors who are late… which is all of them. Whats in the news you say? Turch brings in a court case where a man had...

Episode 25 – The Show at War – We Only Do One Take Podcast The rantiest episode ever What a crazy episode! Turch and Kieran tell the wankers about the ongoing battle they are having with Spotify and PornHub. As Turch has stated, please send Spotify a message saying that you want our podcast on their platform! It will really help us out! Turch rants about another toilet issue, and it includes a sho...

14 hour sex sessions, all you can eat pizza, virgina headphones and two epic rants (thanks Alice and Aaron). This podcast is probably our best yet!

Episode 23 of the We Only Do One Take Podcast On this episode we have self-proclaimed Nerd Supreme Ayoub! Turch rants about his finger again, and complains about the public health system and fax machines. Nerd supreme bring in a story about a man who cut another man’s grass, drunk… and was arrested for it. Kieran on the hand talks about how he wouldn’t get a chip inside of him, if you know what I...

A man's penis costs him $100,000! A Goose attacks a golfer, Uni students in the Cry Closet and Turch gets a new dog called Shaniqua!

Episode 21 of the We Only Do One Take Podcast! Our return guest is Niall for his fourth time on the show. Kieran makes an apology on behalf of Turch in regards to the way he ends the show. Turch is definitely not sorry. A debate ensures and I’m pretty sure you will want that time you listened to it back. The boys reminisce about last week’s phone call, and Jess tells Turch something magic that she...

Episode 20 of the We Only Do One Take Podcast Twenty episodes in. Who let us do this? In this episode we celebrate Kieran’s birthday. Turch tells Kieran what he was going to give him for his birthday, but decided against it. Kieran tells us the story of where he spent his birthday, which leads into the best rant ever; lack of food and beverage facilities within a hospital. Turch continues his ques...