We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez

The court system is a whole culture unto itself! It has its own language and customs and procedures, and if you do not understand how the system works, that could hurt you in your divorce case. Kris breaks down what questions to ask when hiring an attorney all the way to what to do when in court. In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses the family court system and what...

Have you ever had your parent's voice come flying out of your mouth? Nine times out of ten that happened when you were stressed out, and it was a knee-jerk reaction. What can you do when that happens? Are you aware of all of the bad parenting that your dysfunctional family of origin gave you and how that plays out in your own parenting? In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris di...

For many of us that came out of families of origin that were toxic, we truly do not know what healthy looks like. So what behaviors are healthy? What should we be looking for in family, friends, partners, or even co-workers? What does healthy actually look like? In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses what healthy family, friends, partners etc. look like.  The full tra...

When a person comes out of an abusive relationship, they almost inevitably have anxiety. When a person is stressed out and at survival the amygdala enlarges and the anxiety increases. The good news is that with mindfulness, the amygdala shrinks.  In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses anxiety and why almost every single survivor of abuse has anxiety. She also discusse...

Have you ever wondered why the other parent did not protect you? Have you wondered why people just allow abuse to occur? What gets in the way of people acting to protect? These and many more questions will be answered in this weeks episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez discussing When People Do Nothing! In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses why the other paren...

Have you ever wondered why some people just cannot make a decision without asking everyone and anyone? What causes a person not to trust their own judgment? Have you ever met someone who just wanted to be taken care of to the point of clinginess? That would be someone with a dependent personality. In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses people with dependent personalit...

In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses the smear campaign, why they do it, how it "benefits" them, and who believes it. When a breakup with an abuser happens, have you ever wondered why they suddenly go on a rampage trying to discredit their former target of abuse? What does an abuser get out of such egregious behavior? Why do people believe them? What is a flying mon...

Did you know that most survivors of abuse, either by the family of origin or by a significant other, have eating disorders or issues with food? Yeah! Yet another lovely side effect of abuse. Survivors of abuse are more likely to have anorexia, bulimia, binge/purge, or overeating issues. How to help yourself is to get with a damn good trauma therapist that understands eating disorders. Write and bu...

Have you ever had someone either pooh, poo, or dismiss or actively destroy your dreams? Have you ever wondered what would possess someone to do such a heinous thing? What drives an abuser to stop their target of abuse from reaching their potential or from doing what they love? Well, wonder no more! Kris will break down what the payoff is for abusers who crush dreams!   The full transcript of this...

This week on We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris talks about the trauma response of dissociation and unreality and pretty much normalizes that response for survivors of trauma. The full transcript of this episode can be  read on our website .

In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez Kris talks about standing up for your self to your narcissistic boss, disrespectful doctors and standing up to anyone else who is being a jackwagon! The full transcript of this episode can be  read on our website .

When we have been unjustly accused of doing things we didn't do, the desire to clear the air is strong. Now, if you were dealing with healthy people, clearing the air would be the right thing to do. You aren't dealing with healthy people. Narcissists, Dark Triads, and the like LOVE to accuse the target of abuse of all sorts of things that THEY are themselves doing and then argue with or ignore the...

In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses the difference between Dependent Personality Disorder and Codependency. The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website .

So many of us have read romance novels or watched tv shows and movies, especially rom-coms, that send the wrong message. Messages like "You CAN change them!" "Stockholm syndrome is okay and will end well!" "Treat the partner like crap; they will love you more!" "Lose who you are in order to become what the partner wants!"  Many of those novels, tv shows, and movies have normalized abuse in some fo...

CBT works with mistaken thoughts and mistaken beliefs. One way to process said mistaken thoughts and beliefs is to JOURNAL! You probably didn't like that suggestion and you are probably wondering why I and so many therapists recommend it. Well, it all has to do with the amygdala. Journaling, writing and burning letters, and making poetry out of our pain all take the trauma out of our heads and put...

Have you ever wondered why abusers seem to lie all the time, about, well, everything? I'm sure you've heard the term "pathological" liar. Did you know that personality-disordered abusers lie upwards of 20 plus times a day, compared to non-personality-disordered people? Did you know that they KNOW they are lying and that it is done on purpose to create confusion and cognitive dissonance in the mind...

Do abusers use the "self-harm" card to control and manipulate? How do you tell the difference between a real self-harm threat and one that is about manipulation? Do you have a working knowledge of the way abusers use verbal abuse and derail discussions about their behavior?   Did you know that abusers often need a "harem" of supply and will often intentionally not introduce a target to family and...

What is coercive control? How do abusers make their targets do what they want them to do? Did you know that trauma bonding using intermittent positive reward is coercive control? Gaslighting and hoovering, isolating the target, and controlling what the target wears or eats are all examples of coercive control.  Coercive control starts early, as in you can see it in abusive relationships in middle...

Have you ever noticed some people either create chaos and drama or chaos and drama seems to follow them where ever they go? Have you also noticed that as much as they claim not to like chaos and drama, they still seem to be at the center of said chaos and drama? Red flag alert! You are dealing with someone who is disordered. You may ask yourself, "Why? Why does this person blow up every relationsh...

What is the definition of a toxic mother? What causes women to turn on their own children? What does that kind of physical/verbal/emotional abuse do to a child, and how does that affect adult children of toxic mothers? Toxic mothers can present one way to the "public" and completely different behind closed family doors.   Growing up with a toxic mother is a roller coaster. Sometimes the abuse is o...

Dysfunctional family members are hard to deal with, and it is especially hard if that or those family members are your siblings. Siblings in healthy families are our first friends. In toxic families, dysfunctional families, they are often our first bullies or our worst enemies. Dysfunctional families encourage sibling rivalry and bullying, and they certainly do not teach the children how to draw b...

In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris talks about disordered corporations, office bullies, cliques, backstabbers, screamers, and schemers and how you can either avoid working for a corporation like that altogether or have coping skills to deal with them. We've all been there, and done that, dealing with a disordered corporation that has the office bully, cliques, screamers, an...

Why are dark triads so damn dangerous, vindictive, and violent? What is psychopathy? What makes them decide to kill themselves or others? In the first half of the show, Kris talks about what is a dark triad which is narcissism, psychopathy, and control, and what motivates them to the acts of stalking and or violence. In the second half of the show, Kris answers any questions that come up about the...

In this week's episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses ageism in abuse, why they dump their partners for younger and younger models, and why they are so terrified of aging. Have you ever wondered why disordered people delight in telling you that you CAN'T do the very thing you want to do? Have you ever wondered why age is such a big deal? Why abusers tend to discard their part...

In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris addresses the pain of betrayal trauma and how to effectively cope with the pain and the desire for revenge.  Kris also discusses how the trauma may be affecting current and future relationships. In the second half of the show, Kris answers questions from listeners. Narcissistic abuse is all about betrayal. What exactly is betrayal trauma?...