We Gauge Cage

Every Rose has its ghost. Just like every night has its EMT shift. Just like every Ambulance driver has their sad, sad song. Every Rose has its ghost.... Hey look. They can't all be winners. Such is the case with this 1999 Scorsese dud, "Bringing Out the Dead." Nic Cage stars alongside John Goodman, the ever-famous and supremely talented Ving Rhames, and some talentless zombie they...

Oh Cagey. Why don't you just meet us in the middle? We're losing our minds just a little. Ladies and Gentlemen, could I interest you in a romance, set in the 40's, starring two star-crossed lovers (he from the working-class side of town, she from a well-to-do, upper crust family) on the verge of the young man and his best friend shipping off to war? What if I told you there was a sc...

Love is all that I can give to you. Love is more than just a game for two.  Which is why we needed four for this particular episode. It's our annual Valentine's Day episode, so we invited the wives back onto the podcast to talk about Nic Cage's 2000 Christmas, family, rommy commy film "The Family Man." Let's just say there was a difference of opinion on this one. Some...

I don't want to wait. For this film to be over. I want to know right now, which will it be? Will Nic get another thumbs up, or will he fail to rise to the occasion? Brian and Brock sat down on their comfy couches and pored over Nic Cage and Meg Ryan's 1998 whirlwind romance/stalking horror/extended Goo Goo Dolls music video "City of Angels." This movie had angels. It had a city...

The boy is back in town. The boy is back in town.  That's right. Back for another live recording together, in the same room, holding hands, gazing longingly into each other's eyes, shirts off, all bets also off, and with more energy than any two boys should be able to muster. Brock and Brian watched the heck out of 2009's Nic Cage/Werner Herzog confusingly-titled and even more confu...

Well the weather outside is...weather. But inside, the boys are so delightful. And since they've no place to go, let them tell you about a 2005 Nic Cage film that they watched by the name of "The Weather Man." It's a tale as old as time about...a...weather man.  But before we can talk about The Weather Man, let's talk about the weather, man. It's real cold in Minnesot...

Gone like a freight train. Gone like yesterday. Gone like a Nic Cage in the Civil War. Bang Bang.  The boys done gone and done it, I tell you what. They watched Nic Cage's seminal '00 classic "Gone in 60 Seconds." We can say that this movie co-starred Angelina Jolie. But did it? Really? Does that count? The fellas were...underwhelmed.  Before all that, they discuss their Bert a...

National Treasure! That is what you are. Baby you're my golden star.  And speaking of babies, the baby boys plunked on down and watched Nicolas Cage's bonafide hit, all-time smash, 2007 box office superstar film "National Treasure: Book of Secrets." The sequel. The second one.  No, they still haven't seen the original film. No, they won't get to it for a while. Yes, t...

I always feel like, somebody's watching Nic! This week, the boys did. They sure did watch ol' Nicolas and his 1999 output "8MM." It's a doozy of a snuff-obsessed thriller with a twist that one of our hosts saw coming from a mile away. Snuff film? More like Snoozff film, amiright?!? Before that, Brock and Brian regale the listeners with their latest, weightiest competition....

I feel it in my fingers. I feel it in my toes. Nic Cage is all around me. And so the feeling grows.  It's the new year, babies! What better way to celebrate than watching the newest and what could possibly be the absolute worst movie of Nic Cage's oeuvre? Brock and Brian watched his 2018 horror/thriller "Between Worlds." But I'll tell you a secret. They wished they hadn&ap...

The best way to spread joy and cheer, is posting this podcast for all to hear.  Ladies. Gentlemen. "Let's Be Franc-o." That's right! The boys done went and pulled a real Christmas miracle and watched a non-Nic Cage movie! In the true generous spirit of the holidays, Brock decided to put the Nic Cage back in the box and watch Brian's #1 Comedy and all-time favorite Christma...

Hey you. What's that sound? Everybody watch The Frozen Ground.  Actually, Brock and Brian already watched Nic Cage's 2013 thriller "The Frozen Ground" so that you wouldn't have to. Seriously. You can probably skip this one. I'm just saying.  Before all that, the gentlemen talk overrated Christmas movies, we get an update on Baby Charley Watch 2018, Brock offers up som...

Happy Anniversary to us!  52 Weeks. 52 Episodes. 52 Nicolas Cage duds.  When we set out to do this podcast, we truly didn't know if we were going to be able to finish.  But here we are, one year later. One year wiser. One year better.  Thank you, to all of the hardcore listeners. Thank you to anyone who even tuned in once before deciding it wasn't for them. Thank you, thank you, thank yo...

Relax. Don't do Nic. When you wanna go through Nic.  What an episode. What a film. The boys watched 1986's "Peggy Sue Got Married." Starring a young Kathleen Turner. A younger, wilder Nic Cage. And directed by Nic's revered uncle Franny Ford Copes himself. It...was a movie. Certainly was that.  Before they travel back in time, the lads discuss Brian's horniness for a...

Let's get down to business. To defeat, the Huns. Did they send me Nic Cage? When I asked, for sons? You're a sorry, sad, pathetic lot, and before tonight is through. Nic Cage, I'll make an actor of you! Speaking of sorry, sad, and pathetic...Brock and Brian watched Nic Cage's 2009 animated triumph "Astro Boy." Do you remember Astro Boy? Did anyone see Astro Boy? You d...

Turkey for me. Turkey for you. I like my turkey in a big brown shoe... Happy Nicsgiving, y'all! This year, let's really focus on the reason for the season. And the reason for this podcast. Which is...to sh*t on one of Hollywood's most respected and revered actors, and put him in his place? We guess? If there's anything the boys are thankful for, it's a solid 90-minute run...

We rawdogged pills in Ibiza, to show Nic Cage that we were cool. And when we finally got sober, it was 48 episodes older, but F it, it was something to do.  There's no way of Knowing which film Brock and Brian watched this week. We Know it's from 2009. We Know that Rose Byrne co-stars. We Know that it had something to do with...Aliens? Aliens. But we couldn't possibly be Knowing the...

It's Saturday night and we're in the spot. Don't believe me? Just watch.  And watch they did. The boys watched Nic Cage's 2007....effort..."Next." And not the salacious MTV dating show. No, this "Next" had magic. And superpowers. And superjuice. And Jessica Biel.  Before all that, the lovable lads regale the audience with tales of Brock's Grand vacation...

Nobody knows the trouble we've seen. Nobody knows our sorrow... My goodness gracious, did the fellas walk right into a stinker of a film this week. One might say it was downright horror-ble! Your brave boys Brock and Brian took a trip into the old, abandoned, spooky castle for another one of Nic's castle-period thrillers "Seeking Justice."  But before the guys attempt to polish...

***Full Disclosure: Our editor completely blew this week's editing budget on Reese's Minis and completely fudged up the original posted version. The sound was off. So if you downloaded that version, feel free to delete it and play this one instead!***  Now, where were we? Well we were working in the lab, late one night. When our eyes beheld an eerie sight. For our monster from the slab b...

It's too late to 'pologize...It's too late! After the aural assault that we laid upon their fans last episode, the boys have returned with their tails between their legs to review a normal, light-hearted, magical romp through New York City a la Nic's 2010 classic "The Sorcerer's Apprentice." Brian asserts that this film is based entirely off of the Mickey Mouse &...

Holy buckets, y'all. Holy freaking buckets.  We'll be perfectly honest. We have no idea what to write here, because we truthfully don't remember recording half of this episode... Here's what we DO know: - This is our second Live episode. Brock and Brian are back together under the same roof.  - We started this recording with a full bottle of rum. We ended this recording with an...

***Warning, at the top. This film (and the podcast that follows) is traumatic, disturbing, and downright nasty. So, it's going to be a rough one. Fair warning. You've been warned. Can't say we didn't warn ya. Achtung, baby!*** That's right, mother'sdaughters! Surprise! I bet you all thought we were watching Windtalkers this week. But we switched up the game, we seized...

Where were you when the world stopped turning? Yeah? We're going to start on this note? Hoo boy...strap in and get your tissues ready for this one. The boys (respectfully) watched the 2006 Nic Cage film "World Trade Center," a drama about the titular buildings that were attacked by terrorists and the heroes that were trapped beneath them. Yep. But it's also a Nic Cage film...so...

Whoa, we're halfway there. Whoa. Oh. Living on a prayer. Take our hands, the boys watched Nic Cage's 1998 crime thriller "Snake Eyes," we swear. A somewhat confusing and ambitious film directed by Brian de Palma (of "Scarface" and "The Untouchables" fame) co-starring Gary Sinise and world-famous actress Carla Gugino. Before/after/around all that, the boys pl...