War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7)

Say goodbye to Season 3 because it's time for Season 4!  The war is having a well deserved holiday. It's tired from all the retreating and endless bouts of foggy mist and misty misty fog.  Even though we're far from the front lines of the actual war there is still a war... but this war is a war between rigid social norms and being honest to your feelings.  In a literal sense it&apos...

It's that wonderful time of the season... QUIZ TIME! What can you remember from book 3 of War and Peace? It's time to don your finest velvet reading cape, pour a large glass of steaming hot beef tea and retreat deep inside your memory shed.  We've got questions about mailboxes, fog, the 1971 film Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory and of course some questions about book 3 of War...

It's the early 19th century and a handsome single chap with loads of dosh has moved in just round the corner. There's only thing to do: gossip. Dust off your reading cape, iron your finest party hat and check the tires on your chaise because we're going to a party! Who will do the most backflips? Which daughter will be the best at potentially being married? Who will put the evil Mr...

We wanted it to be on. We waited for it to be on. Now it's actually on, and it might be better if it was off. Can we change our minds? Last week we were left desperately hanging from the literary cliff, and this week we're boldly letting go. Join us as we descend through the soup-thick fog in search of answers... Who is dead? Who is alive? Have we completely lost? Did Daddy ever make it...

Where once there was fog, or maybe dense mist, but probably definitely fog, now there lies smoke.  Like an incredibly dense super-fog, the smoke hides all it touches...  Has the averagely tall Napoleon's dastardly plan paid off? Is everyone dead? Will the Russians find their way out of this hyper-fog-mist-smoke-hybrid?  We'd be lying if we said it wasn't on.  It really, really, real...

The fog was thick. Thick as a thick, thick bowl of fog soup.  Everywhere young Nicky Rostov turned he saw the dense white of the horrible thick fog. It was like being inside a pie made entirely of milk.   "Hello!" he shouted "It's me Nicky Rostov is anyone there?" The thick, milky fog consumed his words like a pack of pigeons around an unlucky chip. "I'm here to...

Yeah we're doing this again... We're sorry, OK!  We were so sure it was on before and so we said it was "on" but then it wasn't "on" and then this episode happened and at the end we were both like, "oh boy, it really is on now!" To be honest we don't know if it's on.  We hope it's on.  We're so sorry if it turns out that next week it...

Diary - I've simply got to tell you! Something incredible has happened. Are you ready??? I actually MET the emperor today, the real Russian emperor, and it was A-MAZ-ING!!!  Here's what happened... I was standing around on the road feeling MAD about not getting to do any fighting when suddenly everything slowed down. Everyone was quiet, and it was like the air was ON FIRE. That's wh...

Oompa loompa doompety doo We've got a perfect chapter for you Oompa loompa doompety doris This one is sort of all about Boris What do you get when you want a sweet job? Stories of Emperor's dropping their stuff Who is the short man shifty as hell? Standing and staring, run but don't yell! We don't like the look of it 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ Support the show, say...

These days we think nothing of receiving a sick gif from great grandma Bing, or a wicked TikTok from second uncle Pepe. There's no limit to the number of dope memes pinging live into our notification zones, hot and fresh from friends far and wide.  Back in 1805 though, Tikhon was the closest you came to TikTok, and if you wanted to see Count Rostov doing that funny dance, you had to knock on...

Might Mary maybe marry?  And Anatole... an angel awaits? Naysayer Nasty Nick needs "NO!" Tikhon turnip turtle train...  OK, enough of the amazing alliteration. There's mystery aplenty in this week's episode: someone has a tail, there's irrefutable proof of a superpower and Mary's fate is finally fettled, sorry, settled! Mary, is it a 'YES!' or a 'NO!&qu...

Dearest Listener, You are cordially invited to the 1805 FATHER OF THE YEAR awards, recognising some of the most incredible, selfless and thoughtful fathering from the past twelve months.  Taking place at the famous Sad Mansion, this year's gala will be an unforgettable event - with catering from the renowned McTurtle Food Corp™, music from the triple platinum Gravy Boaters, plus of course the...

We're back at Sad Mansion and there really is snow way out. It's time to arrange another wedding, so let's really dial up the sad-ometer!  Nasty Nick is back and he is positively piste! His angry sneezes are seconds away from causing an avalanche of misery. Will he succeed in making everyone in the house cry? Will he pull off the biggest prank of the entire book? Will Marry smile? W...

You know the feeling - your bags are packed, you've triple checked the passports, your pockets are stuffed with travel ham. This is going to be the best holiday ever.  But as your horse drawn taxi clatters toward the airport a terrible sensation creeps up your spine. What have you forgotten? You took the bear to the bear sitter, check. Household gas and electricity supply doesn't exist y...

Sick and tired of having grapes shot at you all day? Fed up of cheese rolls and barefooted handsome psychopaths? Are you longing for your old life of decadence? A life of seemingly endless and interchangeable social gatherings? A life full of turtle-based snacks and unforgettable anecdotes from the freshest diplomatists that Russia has to offer?  Are your hands really massive and red?  Do you need...

This week we're giving Tolstoy a well earned rest - while he enjoys a Turkish pipe and a nice hot bath, we're diving head first into the blue, blood-warm waters of William Golding's Lord of the Flies. Lauded alongside War and Peace as one of the greatest books of all time, Lord of the Flies finally answers the age old question 'should society be exclusively run by small childre...

You've finished Book 2 of War and Peace! Take a bow. The crowd are chanting your name!  "YOU ARE SO DIPLOMAT <YOUR NAME>!" They scream and cry. Flowers fall from the sky. You wipe a single tear from your cheek and take a triumphant bite of delicious ham.  If you've been with us from the start, or are but a simple traveller on the literary podcast highway looking for a ref...

Hi Will,  I've just been going through the official WAPIN7 End of Book Checklist , and I'm pleased to say today's episode really has got it all: ✅ Intense dramatic tension ✅ New horse x 1 ✅ Andy Pandy mic droppin' all over the shop ✅ Incredible literary prose ✅ Multiple descriptions of HANDS ✅ Unbelievable displays of military incompetence  ✅ Minor arguments about shoes...

Suddenly Adverb quickly and without warning; unexpectedly Will was perfectly summarising a chapter of War and Peace when suddenly Steve interjected and told him off for saying “‘ suddenly ” too much. Will, like the hapless General, turned purple with rage and was about to defend his honour when SUDDENLY - Be honest, you’re extremely intrigued to find out what happens next. 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️...

Goodbye, Darren, my old friend You were a horsey to the end You softly galloped on your sweet hooves The bravest friend that we could ever lose I have a vision, of you nibbling on some hay In the sky Within the barn of silence. Read the full eulogy: https://wapin7.com/episode/42-it-has-continued 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ Support the show, say Hello, and find the thoroughly diplomat e...

You'd be forgiven for thinking the beginning of the book was the beginning - oh how naive you are! 41 chapters in and now it's really time to get things started. The horses are primed, the ham supplies are looking good and the cannon balls have been mopped to perfection. One thing we hadn't thought of was the requirement of an extremely well dressed Accountant... Now that he's...

Do you want to be SUCCESSFUL?  Do you want to be IMPRESSIVE, FAMOUS and ATTRACTIVE? Do you want to be heroically KILLED BY GRAPE SHOT? If the answer to any of these questions is 'YES I DO', 'PERHAPS' or 'NOT REALLY' then WAPIN7's Climbing The Success Pyramid is the hot new motivational book for YOU. Learn why the most successful people only ever wear denim, how e...

You know the saying, "War and Peace go together like birds of a feather".  Birds have lots of feathers, you see, and a bird would not actually be legally called a bird if it had no feathers... Which is a lot like war and peace when you think about it. I mean, when you really think about it.  Can you ever truly have peace without having some war? Does war inevitably always lead to peace?...

Andy Pandy, aged 20¼ Tuesday 19th November, 1805 Bilibin's house, Brunn, Austria Dear Diary, I'M SO EXCITED I CAN BARELY SLEEP! Tomorrow I'm going to see the Emperor (finally!) and I'm going to tell him all about my amazing victory! I've brushed my whole uniform so I'll look 'totally on fleek as heck' (that's one of my fresh new epigrams I'm trying...

We've all seen The Mighty Ducks or that film with the bobsleighs or that one with all the karate kicking...  You know how it goes. Just as it looks like you'll never be able to bobsleigh really well, or do the best karate kick at the karate kick competition, a montage sequence begins to play. Eye of Tiger is turned up to 10 and then, without warning, your team of ducks perform the best k...