War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7)

Dear Diary, My name's Pierre and I'm in my 20s, maybe early 30s, I'm not really sure. I've had a strange few years, I swapped my wife for a pile of bones and then I built a hospital out of money and sticks. Now I'm a senior guy at a pretty cool secret club, they think I'm pretty cool, but I'm starting to worry all the blood and arguments might not be as great as...

All together now! He's got the rights of the people, in his hands! He's got plump white hands, for his hands! He's got a strange way of talking, in his hands! He's got the whole world in his hands! 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ Support the show, say Hello, and find the thoroughly diplomat extras at: patreon.com/wapin7 Including... (Free!) bonus content, Tolstoy's...

We’re back! It’s officially Volume 2, it’s officially 1808, it’s officially spring. Indeed, the spring has never been springier in this spring-time spring spectacular. Peel off precisely one layer, go for a walk, and get ready to feel the full force of spring’s power. Chirping birds - check. Blooming flowers - check. Talking trees - check. This is going to be the best damn spring of our entire liv...

You've been hanging on to that cliff for too long!  It's time for us to set you free and reveal the murderer! Or MURDERERS!! This week it's all about windows and doors and locks and nails and hair but mainly windows and locks and doors and did we mention windows?! Get ready for the payoff of to the world's FIRST detective story.  You're not going to believe it... 〰️〰️〰️...

Move over Sherlock, pipe down Poirot, check yourself Miss Marple - there's a new detective in town and he's the real og. This week we meet the incredible deductive mind of August Dupin - a sexy, forceful and profoundly arogant amateur detective cleaning up the streets of Paris with nothing more than his wit, his assistant and his incredible telepathic abilities. Written by Edgar Allan Po...

You look down at your large red powerful hands. You clench one into a  fist and pump it triumphantly into the air! You've finished Book 5 of War and Peace and rightly want the world to know about.  "What next?!" You scream. "I need more!!" It's time to put your knowledge of Book 5 to the ultimate test. We've got questions about: bones, hands, horses, Smurfs and F...

It's the end of Book 5 AND the end of Volume 1 of War and Peace - and there are just so many unanswered questions: Will Denisov escape the law? Will peace last forever? Will the surfs ever truly be free? Why was that hospital so awful? Will Nicky get an arbitrary promotion for no reason in particular? Where did all those bones come from? Who the hell stole all the biscuits? What was that tiny...

Casual clothes day, dress down day, own clothes day, free dress day, non-uniform day, uniform free day, wear what you want day... Whatever you call it, it might be a day you look back on fondly, remembering that time you wore your favourite jeans to school and everyone said "great jeans". Or perhaps it's memory you've locked deep in your memory shed because of the time you wore...

🇺🇦 How to support the people of Ukraine 🇺🇦 Support from the UK Support from the US Other ways to help from your country 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ Support the show, say Hello, and find the thoroughly diplomat extras at: patreon.com/wapin7 Including... (Free!) bonus content, Tolstoy's Hall of Fame, and special episodes. 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ We've had mustar...

If you've assembled an IKEA cupboard or two you'll know how essential good, clear instructions are. They really can make the difference between having an attractive, sturdy cupboard, or finding yourself poisoned, shot and starving after a monumental argument.  This week we're opening a couple of WAP instructional manuals - first we'll be leafing through "How to build your...

Pierre the perfect pilgrim pleaser pleases pilgrims perfectly in this week's perfectly priceless episode of WAPIN7. PAUSE! "Pierre? Perfect!? " You proudly protest! Well yes! Pierre is a perfect, polished, patient, professional, pleasant, punctilious and perfectly perfect player and it's about time everyone knew it! Preach! 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ Support the sh...

This week we're talking Serfs - the indentured workforce of 1800s Russia, bonded to a lifetime of hard labor for zero pay as they slowly die from preventable diseases in their rat infested hovels. We'll be asking "Is that really that bad?" and hearing things like "Maybe my Serfs are actually having a great time?" as well as "Even if it won't cost me much to...

We just got a meta letter! I wonder who it's from? A letter inside another letter! I wonder who it's from?! A letter longer than time itself... I wonder who it's from!! A special special meta letter that's super extra long! WHO IS IT FROM?!?! JUST TELL ME! There's only one way to find out... 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ Support the show, say Hello, and find the...

Warm up your mouth, polish your teeth and fill your lungs because it's time to party! Yes that's right, you are invited to another sensational Anna 1 get together where your hips absolutely will not do the talking, but your lips certainly will.  Prepare to chat, schmooze, and wag your chin all the way to the top as you compete with the greatest small talkers in all of St. Petersberg. Wil...

We've all joined ultra secretive societies before. We all know the drill: box of bones, blindfold, various sets of gloves with incredibly specific uses, a trowel, some aprons, secret hieroglyphs, an unknowable mystery, various states of undress and of course a very very very large bill to be paid immediately ! For those of you who haven't joined a secret society I think you're in fo...

Ahoy me hearties! What better way to start Book 5 than with an old sea shanty! One sad man in a very sad place Yo ho ho and a bottle of vodka Enter the Pirate King with a large round face Yo ho ho and a bottle of vodka Who is the Pirate King? What does he want? Why is he yelling? Why does he only eat tiny bits of sugar? There's only one way to find out... It be time to walk the plank! 〰️〰️...

What happens when you take a boring old monkey paw, fill it with magical evilness and exactly three wishes, and give it to an unsuspecting family who like playing chess and listening to the wind?  Will they wish for world peace?  Will they wish for the world's best clown? Will they wish for more paws? There's only one way to find out... "Monkey Paw, I wish for a special episode of W...

You've finished book 4 of the greatest book of all time!  You're feeling proud, brave and completely diplomat. You howl with pride. Howl like a recently cursed werewolf singing his heart out at the clavichord. Just as you reach the crescendo of your happy wolf song it dawns on you... Do I actually remember anything? Well do you?! It's quiz time!  We've got questions about 13th...

Ancient Russian legends speak of an old curse. It is said there is a man, human at a glance, but listen to him sing and you will hear the beautiful and sad voice of a wolf. This half man, half wolf, is older than time itself. Through the millenia he has sought but one thing, one thing that could finally release him from his furry prison - true love. Who is this beast? Will the curse finally be bro...

The first rule of Ping-Pong-Cricket cards is: you do not talk about Ping-Pong-Cricket-Cards .  The second rule of Ping-Pong-Cricket Cards: you DO NOT talk about Ping-Pong-Cricket Cards! Third rule of Fight Club, sorry Ping-Ping-Cricket Cards: if someone yells “stop!”, goes limp, or taps out, the Ping-Pong-Cricket Card game is over. Theres only one question, 'Are you afraid to play?" Ever...

TONIGHT @ IOGELS Moscow's Hottest Club 1806 Get ready YOUNG PEOPLE for the biggest night of the year: the alcopops are flowing, the beats are gnarlier than Napoleon, and the dance moves are completely diplomat! Yes it's SINGLES NIGHT at IOGELS.  Don't miss out, book your tickets now.  GUEST LIST ONLY. ALCOPOP FOUNTAIN. DANCE COMP. 〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ Support the...

We've had some good times over the last 64 episodes haven't we? We've laughed, we've loved, we've danced the Cooper. Absolutely, there was a small amount of horrifying war, and just a touch of mindless violence. But overall, it's been a lot of fun.  But as the saying goes, sometimes life gives you pineapples, and sometimes life drops hundreds of huge, sad, pineapples...

Shy Moscovite Pierre (Hugh Grant) meets Moscovian Hélène (Andie MacDowell) at their own wedding and enjoys several months of marriage to her. The next time they meet, at their own house, Hélène is accompanied by a poor but amusing lover Dolokhov (Corin Redgrave), leaving Pierre heartbroken. Never mind, with the bald hills on the horizon, there's still time for him to win the love of his local...

The party continues!  As guests greedily sup turtle soup and toast every single person in Russia a storm is brewing... Not a literal storm, like a storm , but an internal storm.  What happens when a massive man with long sad hair and giant healthy red hands is pushed to his limits? Will he explode like a large massive bomb; or will he just sit there looking all sad and red?  Retribution is coming....

Dear Listener, You are cordially invited to an evening of fine dining, amusements, and powerful dancing at The English Club. In attendance will be one SPECIAL GUEST plus Russia's oldest and wealthiest men, and of course me, the sauciest boy in town Count 'Sauce guy' Rostov. Truly it is not to be missed. Over 18 delightful courses we will travel the culinary world, consuming everythi...