V'Ger Please!

Gather around the campfire as Peter tells us all about the Artemis convention, polite Canadian space pirates, and a whole bunch of other things more interesting than "Two Days and Two Nights", which we eventually review and is ...okay.

When Captain Hadley shows up, it's time for some prime overacting as we watch "Desert Crossing"! When Archer and Trip rescue Mr. Crabbs, they get a dinner invite that ends in balls, desert lacrosse, and a subplot about heat stroke that ruins everything. Would you like to know more?

A familiar face graces our screen as we review "Fallen Hero"! After Archer gets browbeat into doing a quick fetch quest for the Vulcans, the NX-01 winds up in the middle of the most unnecessary conspiracy of all time. But hey, any excuse to finally make the Warp 5 ship go Warp 5, right guys?

Tune in this week as we review "Vox Sola", where I cannot describe a single thing we say in this episode or this advertisement will never pass social media standards. Quick, go take a look at one screen shot of this thing. What do YOU think we spend an hour talking about?

The lingering malaise of Enterprise S1 really starts to set in as we review "Detained"! When a stunt-casted Al shows up for the big 'message episode' about internment camps being bad, what happens when the writers are so dim-witted they make the bad guys completely reasonable?

We get two special guest stars for the price of one as we review "Oasis"! When the NX-01 finds a spoopy ghost ship the most obvious plot happens. Even with the writers using 100% of the René Auberjonois, will that be enough?

At last Enterprise stops holding back and really shows us how bad it can be as we review the inexcusably bad "Acquisition". Your hosts don't hold anything back as even they are unable to find a way to save this wretched turkey.

Old instincts coming rushing back as we get the Chuck O'Tay episode no one wanted in the wrong show as we review "Rogue Planet"! When the NX-01 meets some Dick's Sporting Good aliens, Archer tries to score a date with a metaphorical Pokemon from a poem. Seriously, this is the plot.

We meet the Vulcan everyone warned you about at the Goth Club as we review "Fusion". We get the standard Enterprise tropes here - Archer gets more traumatic brain injury, T'Pol gets the short end of the stick, and Trip is a super bro to the first fat Vulcan.

You podcast team faces off as they review "Shuttlepod One"! Will Joseph be able to bring Peter into the light of accepting this stage play style episode as a quality addition of the Enterprise cannon? Or will he persist in complaining about this greatness with his 'facts' and 'logic'? Listen and find out!

We settle in to some of that sweet continuity as we review "Shadows of P'Jem"! Marvel at an episode that is supposed to be all about T'Pol making a choice but ends up with her having zero agency and dumb boob jokes until Shran shows up and saves us all.

Your intrepid podcast duo does a bit of late-night recording as they review "Sleeping Dogs"! As we are confronted by yet another C+ to B- entry of Enterprise, we postulate on the reasons why the show became a cultural footnote. Also, Reed has a cold.

Phlox entertains his lady friend while the Nx-01 tries to help very friendly aliens in "Dear Doctor"! Will the planet of comfy sweaters be a match for Phlox coming in hot to both Crewman Cutler AND terrible medical ethics? Probably not!

The NX-01 gets it's Reed episode while they deal with incredibly serious, death defining stakes of alien in "Silent Enemy". Also, for some godforsaken reason, half the runtime is about Hoshi finding out what he wants in a cake. This is a thing that actually happens.

Nothing like a trailer for our show 200+ episodes in, but better late than never!

Sins of pilots past return to haunt us as a certain Temporal Agent makes his first appearance in "Cold Front"! Gas up the space RV because we are headed to Branson to look at stars with space Hare Krishnas.

Your podcast heroes run out of ways to describe all the bad plans when they review "Fortunate Son"! The NX-01 takes a detour to helped some stranded space truckers, they get subjected to terrible Mayweather acting and have another inexplicable low-intensity space fight. It's not a good trend!

The NX-01 unlocks the power of unlimited breadsticks as we review "Civilization". When the crew finds a planet that's a cross between Witcher 2 and Italian family dining, a fun field trip becomes a Captain Planet episode …and very little else happens.

Enjoy an episode with the lowest possible stakes as the lads review "Breaking the Ice". This one is so casual, it spends five minutes on a scene where they answer poop questions by 4th graders, and the villain is...poor footing.

Quick visit to the gift shop at the Vulcan monastery leads to a galaxy of head wounds as we review "The Andorian Incident"! When the NX-01 Trio tries to get cultural enlightenment they run into the unmitigated excellence of Jeffrey Combs and hatch a plan to avoid having Reed shoot up the place …which involves Reed shooting up the place.

You podcast heroes remember to select the banker and head west as they review "Terra Nova"! When the NX-01 decides to check in on a colony that went silent, they find a lightly irradiated Paramount backlot, Reed gets a convenient leg wound, That Guy from The Mummy shows up, and Mayweather has to do the homework.

Things take a deeply weird turn on the NX-01 as the boys review "Unexpected". When Archer sends Trip over on a weirdly inefficient field trip to help space lizards on the cheapest set imaginable, he manages to get the worst case of cooties ever seen. He has all the hormones as his fixes OSHA violations, and also … Klingons show up?

The first away mission becomes the field trip from hell as we review "Strange New World"! When Archer stupidly decides for no reason to visit a cool LA area park, T'Pol and Space Florida Man get a dose of accidental MK Ultra in the Not Hell Caves while Red Shirt Tennis Star has a bad time with the soul sucking device.

The Edgy Space Teens have their first brush with existential space horror and the NX-01 decide to put invasive species on random planets as we review "Fight or Flight"! Watch as Archer writes stupid decision checks his bad torpedoes can't cash, Hoshi thinks it's time to nope out, and we learn some space fairing races lack critical context clue skills.

I hope you got plenty of that Faith of the Heart, because your heroes are BACK with a review on Enterprise's opener, "Broken Bow". When Deebo drops in on Earth, the NX-01 has to make an unscheduled trip to Discount Omega as edgy teenager humans rebel against their lame Vulcan Dads. What could go wrong?