Velvet Al Watches Movies So You Don't Have To

Velvet Al Celebrates His Birthday So You Don't Have To 11.12.2023 49:00 ↓

What better present for the man who has everything than forcing him to watch bad birthday cartoons?

Velvet Al Watches No Contest So You Don't Have To 08.12.2023 48:23 ↓

Shannon Tweed doesn't show her boobs and Roddy Piper doesn't crack one liners. What fresh hell are we living in?

Baywatch Nights Season 1, Episode 14: Backup 01.12.2023 35:11 ↓

The Hasselhoff Detective Agency sure do take on a lot of cases that don't pay.

Velvet Al Watches Strippers vs Werewolves So You Don't Have To 24.11.2023 1:30:58 ↓

We learn a lot about werewolf mythos. We also learn a lot about stripper mythos.

Baywatch Nights Season 1, Episode 13: Payback 17.11.2023 37:17 ↓

Angie Harmon strips to her underwear and Geraldo Rivera goes into Berserker Rage. On second thought, you might actually want to watch this episode.

Velvet Al Watches "Mulva 2: Kill Teen Ape" (Plus "Poochinski") So You Don't Have To 10.11.2023 1:13:05 ↓

The intro disclaimer promised graphic nudity. They lied to us. Also, someone made a pilot for a TV show starring Peter Boyle as a talking dog detective and it didn't get picked up? Further proof there is no justice in the world.

Baywatch Nights Season 1, Episode 12: Thin Blood 03.11.2023 49:32 ↓

Blood isn't thicker than Hasselhoff.

Velvet Al Watches Mennonite Of The Living Dead So You Don't Have To 31.10.2023 1:19:45 ↓

Most of the episode is spent discussing the finer points of orgy etiquette.

Velvet Al Watches Manson Brothers Midnight Zombie Massacre So You Don't Have To 27.10.2023 39:01 ↓

It's the pro wrestlers vs zombies movie that isn't "Pro Wrestlers Vs Zombies."

Baywatch Nights Season 1, Episode 11: Takeover 20.10.2023 34:40 ↓

We already forgot what this episode was about.

Velvet Al Watches Carlito's Angels So You Don't Have To 13.10.2023 46:27 ↓

How do you say jigglevision in Spanish?

Baywatch Nights Season 1, Episode 10: Kind Of A Drag 06.10.2023 34:47 ↓

David Hasselhoff in drag and a random performance from Skee Lo. Does television get any better?

Velvet Al Watches The Little Mermaid (Not That One) So You Don't Have To 29.09.2023 1:11:12 ↓

The nice thing about adapting public domain stories is that if you want to, you can make the Little Mermaid a stripper.

Baywatch Nights Season 1, Episode 9: Blues Boy 22.09.2023 40:01 ↓

B.B. King will do anything for a paycheck.

Velvet Al Watches 2016 (Ghana) So You Don't Have To 15.09.2023 1:15:12 ↓

This film suggests that Aliens and Predators have set aside their differences and started mating. That gives us hope for the future.

Baywatch Nights Season 1, Episode 8: Balancing Act 08.09.2023 27:34 ↓

Learn the origin story of the David Hasselhoff Detective Agency

Velvet Al Watches Assault Of The Killer Bimbos So You Don't Have To 01.09.2023 41:23 ↓

Not affiliated with Bimbo Bakeries.

Baywatch Nights, Season 1, Episode 7: Pressure Cooker 25.08.2023 30:20 ↓

It's totally not racist to have the black guy go undercover at a chicken restaurant.

Velvet Al Watches Killer Rack So You Don't Have To 18.08.2023 1:02:38 ↓

You'd expect a movie about boobs to have more gratuitous nudity.

Baywatch Nights Season 1, Episode 6: 976 Ways To Say I Love You 11.08.2023 36:36 ↓

Angie Harmon being really bad at phone sex gave us chubb.

Velvet Al Watches Deadly Punkettes So You Don't Have To 04.08.2023 1:10:51 ↓

Or Velvet Al Sees Andy Dick's Nutsack So You Don't Have To

Baywatch Nights Season 1, Episode 5: Just A Gigolo 28.07.2023 29:39 ↓

How much would you pay for a night with David Hasselhoff?

Velvet Al Watches The Oogieloves In The Big Balloon Adventure So You Don't Have To 21.07.2023 1:04:28 ↓

Just what are the logistics of a vacuum cleaner having sex with a window?

Baywatch Nights Season 1, Episode 4: "Deadly Vision" 14.07.2023 32:42 ↓

The psychic's powers are real! And so are her boobs!

Velvet Al Watches Octopus II So You Don't Have To 04.07.2023 56:18 ↓

It's 4th of July! What can be more patriotic than a killer octopus?