Michael Velasco x TheModernApe
V N APE
A local musician & failed intellectual walk into a bar…
Author
Michael Velasco x TheModernApe
Category
Podcast website
Latest episode
May 22, 2026
Where to listen?
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Episodes
EPISODE 106 | “The Gooner Gulag” (Feat. Kevin From Heaven) 22.05.2026 50:59
Joined by Kev on this episode of V N APE, the boys discuss: Roland the Farter and the lost art of medieval entertainment, debate whether the Make-A-Wish policy needs some serious revisions, and get into the recently viral JP Morgan lawsuit . They also say goodbye to InfoWars, break down Jordan Peterson accidentally reposting fetish porn, and end it with Nikola Tesla’s intense emotional attachment...
EPISODE 105 | “BBW Love Story” 21.04.2026 1:12:32
Welcome back to another episode of V N APE ! A short episode but don’t sleep on it! The boys dive deep into the psychology and philosophy behind the pimp game — strictly from a square’s perspective! They then discuss: OnlyFans founder passing away, Fidel Castro’s grandson interview with CNN, & V’s experience with a sassy BBW. Ask Us ANYTHING!
EPISODE 104 "TipToe Maxxing In Epstein Island" 28.03.2026 1:19:19
THE BOYS ARE BACK! And coming in hot this week — V N APE end up discussing: Ape’s wild random adult video chat experience, V’s curiosity landing him on a swinger website, Afroman having his day in court, LaRussel’s viral “Heaven Sent” preview, the future of Cuba after U.S. talks, Trump’s Pearl Harbor joke in front of Japan’s PM, Tucker Carlson grilling Sam Altman, a neuroscientist discovering he’s...
EPISODE 103 | “The Cuck Phenomenon” (Feat. Kid Miami & Kevin From Heaven) 14.02.2026 1:59:58
On this episode of V N APE, the boys are joined by longtime friend KID MIAMI. Formerly known as Mr. MIA, the Cuban-American rapper from Hialeah grew up alongside V and has been part of his musical journey from day one. The guys jump straight in & discuss: Adam22’s latest boxing match against Jason Luv—is he a champ, a cuck, or just coping? Kanye West vs. Lil Wayne in a VERZUZ, weird and shady...
EPISODE 102 | "Jury Duty" 18.01.2026 1:40:11
Welcome to another episode of V N APE ! On this one the boys go right into it & end up discussing: the power of lust, an Ice agent who killed a U.S citizen (Renee Good) and whether the shooting was justified or not, Trump capturing Maduro & how this will affect the future, how APE flexed his way out of jury duty by being funny, & wrap it up with Elon's idea of peak party entertain...
EPISODE 101 | "What If You Could Only Bust Once?!" 17.12.2025 1:23:20
LIVE from V's new music studio, the boys are back to dissect culture, conspiracy, & the absurd! Naturally, V N APE end up discussing: Stanley Kubrick’s ambiguous cinematic intentions, a hypothetical world where men can biologically ejaculate only once & how that single limitation would reshape society. They then break down Gooners, No-Fap, and Semen Retention & explain how each co...
EPISODE 100 | "Debate/Discussion w/ A Far Right Nationalist" (Feat. Ale) 27.10.2025 2:00:33
EPISODE 100 IS HERE! Thank you to everyone who's joined us along the way — the journey continues! For this landmark episode of V N APE, the boys welcome first-time guest Ale, a Cuban-American mechanic with bold opinions and a lot to say! Together they discuss/debate: Trump, Homogenous Societies, Christian Nationalism, WWII & Hitler, Mass Immigration & Multiculturalism, Dictatorships +...
EPISODE 99 | "Okeechobee: Hialeah's Red Light District" (Feat. Kevin From Heaven) 08.10.2025 48:14
The boys spent most of their studio session working on music but decided to squeeze in a quick pod before wrapping up! They kick things off talking about the passing of Tupac's grandmother and how people are praising Cuba for sheltering her from U.S authorities. We then speak on: God being a little insecure, New York mayoral candidate Mundami promises to decriminalize prostitution which leads...
EPISODE 98 | "Lake Titicaca" (Feat. J-Starz) 03.09.2025 1:40:48
The boys are back with V's big bro J-Starz! Strap in, because this ones all over the place. We start off with the wild news about Hulk Hogan passing away, then talk about why some women with Down syndrome are actually kind of baddies. We break down what "gunning" means in jail, speak on the unique tranny culture of French Polynesia, roast Will Smith's latest attempt at music, a...
EPISODE 97 | "Down With The Syndrome" (Feat. Kevin From Heaven) 12.08.2025 53:00
V N APE R BACK!!! & It's another unfiltered ride with the boys as they tackle everything from hooking up with women who have Down syndrome, to V's wild Uber passenger story that takes an unexpected turn. V comes with a hot take regarding Brown vs. Pink Pussy, revisit their most embarrassing moments, talk Trump's 180 on the Epstein list, and David Icke's reptilian theories,...
EPISODE 96 | "Long Live Leo" 08.07.2025 1:42:58
On this episode of V N APE , the boys pay tribute to their late friend Leo….They then dive into the rise and fall of digital villain Gypsy Crusader, gym bros taking steroids and the effects, unpack the mysteries of Project Blue Beam and William Cooper's theories on it, debate whether Alex Jones is "woke right" and celebrate the timeless beauty of an ebony queen in a story V tells +...
EPISODE 95 | "Birth Of A Cuck" 20.06.2025 1:05:53
V N APE IN THE HOUSE!!!!!! In this episode, the boys dive into L. Ron Hubbard's wild views on the mentally ill & disabled (3:09), an Australian billionaire's push for drug-fueled "Enhanced Games", and a bizarre ad V saw offering $15 for every Jewish podcast you listen to (35:45). They also get into Kash Patels claim that Epstein actually killed himself (38:04), Joe Rogan go...
EPISODE 94 | "ULTRA GOONER" 06.06.2025 1:36:24
On this episode of V N APE , the boys break down Diddy's recent legal drama and freaky antics, imagine a future where AI turns into savage Karens, the Stanford prison experiment, Bonnie Blue's jaw dropping plan to smash 2,000 guys in a single day, Jordan Peterson's latest debate with 20 atheists, the intricacies of "Gooning" + so much more! Follow us on X & IG: @VNAPEP...
EPISODE 93 | "GOD Likes Gay Stoners" (Feat. Jozz & Kevin From Heaven) 26.04.2025 1:39:20
4/20 IS HERE YOU FUCKING STONERS! This week, the boys are breaking it all down: the 8-circuit model of consciousness, and a joke about Leviticus 20:13 ESV - apparently, God says if you lay with another man, you'd better be stoned. They also get into Bukele & Trumps recent link-up at the White House, a debate whether a mystic's perfect consistency would earn Apes trust + some fried c...
EPISODE 92 | "The Most BASED Philosopher To Ever Live" 10.04.2025 1:35:37
GANG! The boys kick things off with a vital debate: facials vs. finishing in the mouth-whats really better? Only on V N APE do you tackle the questions Plato was too scared to ask! From there they wrestle with the classic question: is ignorance truly bliss? & dive into whether criticism of Israel is going to far. And then comes the main event: a sports-style bracket tournament to determine who...
EPISODE 91 | "Pink Pu$$y" (Feat. Jozz) 28.03.2025 57:39
The boys welcome its first female guest, Jozz, for a wild and unfiltered conversation. From debating whether incest is morally wrong if kids aren't involved, to revealing her top 3 porn categories, nothing is off-limits. Jozz also shares her experience as one of the top Global players in Mobile Legends, dives into her thoughts on astrology, and even opens up about how she claims she manipulat...
EPISODE 90 | "Mr. Hands" (Feat. Kevin From Heaven) 05.03.2025 1:31:39
In this episode of V N APE, we’re joined by Kevin From Heaven to break down the absurdity of the world we live in. We kick things off with Zelenskyy's recent visit to the Oval Office where he gets bullied, beer pong with dictators, we also dive into a real moral dilemma: If your wife cheated on you during your 13-year prison bird but held it down otherwise, are you staying or leaving? We also...
EPISODE 89 | "Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation" (Feat. 1leob) 07.02.2025 1:47:25
If I beat that pussy up is you gon' tell on meeeeeee? I didn't think so! Joined by Leo, the boys are back w/ another episode. They end up discussing: Joe Biden becoming a Freemason, Elon doing the Nazi Salute, the president of El Salvador tweeting about Hitler, the oddity of Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation, the gentleman who unalived himself after a video of him "Gooning" at a drive t...
EPISODE 88 | "Make Beastiality Great Again" 17.01.2025 1:47:46
New Year, New Pod! The boys end up discussing: Stoicism & Nietzsche, the interesting life of Diogenes, Ab-Souls interest in Alister Crowley, Beastiality, how Pol Pot took over Cambodia in 1975 and became one of the deadliest dictators, Idi Amin, V's experience with praying, + so much more! Follow us on X: https://x.com/vnapePODCAST Ask Us ANYTHING!
EPISODE 87 | "I'm An Exotic Being" (Feat. 1leob & Yosh) 19.12.2024 47:33
“I CANT PUT DOWN THE POD!” CANT STOP, WONT STOP. NO DIDDY! Joined by Leo & Yosh, the boys end up discussing: Lilly Phillips & her journey of having sex with 100 men in one day, V getting hit on by a gay dude @ work, the intricacies of Yoshi’s sex life, the dangers of being a Pornhub moderator, + so much more! HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM V N APE! Follow us on X: https://x.com/vnapePODCAST Ask Us...
EPISODE 86 | "Virtue Or Meaning?" 07.12.2024 1:40:03
Life has been busy with the holidays coming up so we are glad to be back with an episode for ya! The boys end up discussing: Yosh's dislike for women who over analyze things, V's trip to the hospital for a kidney stone, a game where the amount of fingers you chop off will be equivalent to the size of your penis, whether Virtue or Meaning is the greatest good, Firas Zahabi's argument...
EPISODE 85 | "Sus GPT" (Feat. 1leob) 03.11.2024 2:13:55
Another week, another high from V N APE! Or should say I say the sober kings! Joined by Leo, V speaks on taking a break from smoking marijuana & how he's been feeling since then. The boys then end up discussing: a video of a former inmate speaking on his love for booty, a weird IG clip of A. Rod & Diddy, Trump on the Joe Rogan Experience, Leo's thoughts on Anti-Natalism, Objectiv...
EPISODE 84 | "Pee-Pee Touch Or Gas Chamber?" 23.10.2024 2:14:51
Back from a little hiatus, them V N APE boys are back! Going right into it, we end up discussing: A video where Obama talks toward the "Brothas" about being upset that not as much black people are voting for Kamala as they did for him, V's plan to end homelessness, a deeper dive on Anti-Natalism, whether Joe Rogan will have Trump on the pod, Charlie Kirks hot take regarding abortion...
EPISODE 83 | "Pimping Dead Hoes" 04.09.2024 1:32:42
Another week, another dose of V N APE ! Ape starts off the pod with a business proposal regarding "Pimping Dead Hoes". This one is for the necrophiliacs out there! ...Anyway! The boys then discuss several topics including: The connection between the subconscious & conscious, Pascals Wager, Joe Biden on vacation, viewing Ethics as "Behavorial Aesthetics", Mark Zuckerberg adm...
EPISODE 82 | "A Journey Of Self-Discovery" (Feat. @MontanaTheProphet) 26.08.2024 1:04:02
On this episode of V N APE , the guys are joined by @MontanaTheProphet, an author + host of the "Montana Method Podcast"! We go right into it & discuss: How Montana got into podcasting, why he decided to write a book, why he believes in God, his experience on shrooms, whether morality is objective or not, "The Trolley Problem" which leads to a quick debate, Law Of Attractio...
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