Upbuilding The Self

Enneagram Type 2s, nicknamed The Helper, are all about taking care of others and having deep intimate connections so they can feel really close and loved. They also have a hard time giving others space or seeing their own needs. Famous examples include Fred Rogers, Sally Field, and Stevie Wonder. In this episode, we explore the essence of the Type 2 and the insecurities and motivations that drive...

Enneagram Type 1s, nicknamed The Moralist, are detail-oriented visionaries driven by a set of principles personal that they feel in their gut and want others to align with. They also forever feel the guilt of not living up to these principles themselves. Famous examples include Nelson Mandela, George Harrison, Mahatma Gandhi, Osama Bin Laden, and Queen Elizabeth II. In this episode, we explore the...

Typing is one of the most critical skills for any user of the Enneagram. In this episode, we dive deep into the factors that contribute to understanding how to type and talk about the two biggest obstacles to typing correctly. We discuss the impact of the ego, the influence of the Wing, and the problem with Enneagram tests. We close this episode by giving you our three most impactful tips for how...

How can Donald Trump be the same type as Martin Luther King, Jr? How can Nelson Mandela be the same type as Osama bin Laden? It all comes down to the Levels of Consciousness. In this episode, we explore the most important dimension of the Enneagram, the Levels of Consciousness, which is so critical because it gives us the roadmap to be the best version of ourselves. No type on the Enneagram is bet...

Welcome to the first episode of Upbuild’s Enneagram Foundation podcast series. Whether you are a seasoned enthusiast or a curious newcomer, this series promises to offer fresh perspectives and valuable insights for your journey into the world of the Enneagram. In 14 episodes, we’ll provide a strong foundation on the nine Types as well as the most important dimension of the framework, the Levels of...

The inner critic is commonly thought of as the voice in our head that negatively judges and demeans us. This is true, but it is also has another job that is rarely spoken about. In this episode, Hari Prasada, Michael, and Rasanath do a deep dive into the strategies and nuances of our inner critics. They address the damage that can be done by taking the inner critic too seriously, how our relations...

What is really motivating you? Are you running away from something or towards something?  In this episode, Hari Prasada, Michael, and Rasanath share a framework inspired by the Bhagavad-Gita for thinking about different levels of motivation that show up in how we approach relationships, work, and our everyday experience of the world. They do a deep dive into each of the four levels of motivation a...

If you are not having an existential crisis, well, you are not looking hard enough. In this episode, Hari Prasada, Michael, and Rasanath do a deep dive into existential crises, their causes, and how to deal with them. They discuss the link between existential crises and the fear of death, how the fear of not being my ego and the fear of death is essentially the same thing, the importance of spirit...

We all have a need for validation, and yet most of us don’t like to acknowledge that we need it. In this episode, Rasanath and Vipin explore the definition of validation, why most of us have a difficult relationship with our need for validation, and why it is essential to our identities. They share personal examples and examples from their experience as coaches to illustrate how to move from an un...

What is one thing you are judgmental of others about? How is this also true about you? In what way does knowing it is true about you bring up shame? Michael and Hari, building off of Michael’s piece, I Dislike in You What I Dislike in Me , explore how our judgments of other people are often a mirror for what we don’t like about ourselves. They look at how this hypocrisy disconnects us from other p...

What is anger? Where does it come from? What can we do about it? For many people, no matter how destructive anger can be, it’s all too easy to fall prey to its temptation. As a follow-up to The Seduction of Anger podcast, Michael and Rasanath explore the nuances of this emotion from fresh perspectives. They dive into their personal lives and give examples to break down why, even after having worke...

Mary and Vipin dive into the topic of asking powerful questions, in coaching and everyday life. Through personal examples, they talk about what constitutes a powerful question, why it’s important to get curious, the value of being mindful about the things we are asking, how to create conscious relationships, and the impact of asking open-ended questions. Links Enneagram Library Live :  Join our bi...

How do you peel an apple? How do you brush your teeth? How do you soap yourself in the shower? We all have a set of “rules for achieving an outcome” that underlie absolutely everything we do, and yet, we are rarely conscious of those rules. By bringing consciousness to our rules, we have the freedom to embrace them or change them in a way that will better serve us and the people in our lives. In t...

Listening is a skill that is foundational to life and to relationships, which is also why it has become the foundational skill for the Upbuild Coaching Training program. In this episode, Mary, our new co-host who designed and helped launch the coaching training program, along with Vipin, explore the importance of listening and introduce us to the concept of the “four listening channels.” They give...

In order to be our best selves and get to the root of who we are, we need to take both an “outside-in” and “inside-out” approach. In this episode, Hari and Michael dive into Hari’s inspiration and key insights from his piece, The Two Sides of Working on Yourself. They explore how a superiority complex comes from the same place as an inferiority complex, the costs of working on the ego without work...

Do you work on problems that are comfortable to work on? Are you aware that your focus on these problems might be getting in the way of working on problems that will make a real difference in your life? Michael, Vipin, and Hari Prasada introduce us to safe vs. quality problems, a framework that was introduced to the Upbuild team ten years ago by a coach named Dave Parke and has become central to o...

What does it take to make the decision to live in a monastery and dedicate your life to service? What happens inside a monastery? What is the daily schedule? In this episode, Rasanath shares the intimate details of what it was like during his years as a monk in NYC. He gives insight into the challenges that came with relinquishing his identities, why he chose to give up everything to be fully comm...

Have you ever thought, “There is a part of me that feels this way, and there is a part of me that feels that way.”?  If so, you are already starting to do Parts Work, also called Internal Family Systems (IFS). In this episode, Vipin interviews Michael about Parts Work and the year-long course they recently completed with Guthrie Sayen. They share their takeaways and learnings from the course, how...

This is your damn life. What are you doing about it? In this episode, Vipin and Hari Prasada break down what gets in the way of approaching life with the seriousness it deserves and the reasons why taking our lives seriously is imperative to reaching our full potential. They look at the topic through the lens of a coaching relationship, inspired by Vipin’s article by the same name. They also discu...

Do you feel like you need something different than your present circumstances in order to feel happy and free? Maybe you just need a different job, to get that promotion, to move to a bigger place, or to get more time doing what you really love? Maybe once you get that, you’ll be able to enjoy life. In this episode, Hari Prasada and Michael introduce us to the idea of the freedom fantasy, a concep...

What is the difference between real humility and the projection of humility? Do you desire to be truly humble or do you desire what humility can give you? Michael and Rasanath break down the “The Paradox of Humility” and do a deep dive into what real humility looks like, what’s at stake if we don’t become humble, and the role that humiliation plays in helping us become humble. Links Enneagram Libr...

The phrase “There I go again” is one of the most simple yet powerful framings that you can use to work on yourself and to help you become who you truly are. Michael, Hari Prasada, and Rasanath break down how they use this phrase by giving real-life examples and share how it can help you separate your real self from your ego. They discuss the paradox of acceptance, the reasons why we are never sati...

Have you struggled to make a conversation productive because there is some tension in the relationship or because you feel triggered? Do you really want to give someone feedback but feel blocked in giving it to them? Michael, Rasanath, and Vipin break down one of the most important tools that they use in their personal lives and in their coaching work with clients: the meta-conversation. They shar...

How do you define your self-worth? Why is it so naturally tied to what you produce? Using Sacinandana Swami’s provocative quote as a starting point, Vipin, Michael, and Rasanath share personal examples of how they fall into the trap of defining their value by what they produce. They discuss the true reason behind our longing for a sense of value, the trap/problem of defining our value by what we p...

At Upbuild, we talk a lot about the difference between the ego and the self. But it can often feel like everything – our goals, motivations, achievements, aspirations, emotions, etc. – is part of the ego. So, what then is left? Vipin, Hari Prasada, and Rasanath disentangle the subtleties of the self and explain why the ego is the lens through which we experience our whole world. They unpack the co...