Upbuilding The Self

Do you consider yourself someone who has difficult conversations with ease, or someone who fears them? What does it really mean to have a difficult conversation? What is the role of the heart and our emotions in having difficult conversations? Michael, Hari Prasada and Rasanath take inspiration from a CEO’s experience of needing to fire someone to look at how the ego prevents us from bringing our...

Do you donate money to charity so that you feel less guilty about your life, to receive praise, or to get a tax benefit? Should you try to get really rich and then give your money away in order to do the most good? Rasanath and Michael discuss the motivations behind our charitable giving and how to differentiate between egoic and pure motivations. They address what they do when they receive reques...

Have you ever wondered what really happens on bonus day at an investment bank? In this episode, Hari Prasada interviews Michael about his article, Goldman Sachs Bonus Day and the Entitled Ego , and his intense experiences around receiving a bonus during his time at Goldman. They discuss the posturing that went into bonus day, the flimsiness of using compensation as a measure of self-worth, the suf...

Hari Prasada, Michael, and Rasanath discuss the three sources of introversion and share the different gifts of and challenges faced by introverts depending on where the introversion comes from. When we discover the reasons for our introversion, we have greater access to self-understanding and self-empathy. It allows us to live with greater intentionality and to stretch our borders without disrespe...

Are you a person who changes your beliefs or behaviors in order to please others or to succeed? Do you think this is a positive characteristic? Vipin, Michael, and Rasanath break down what it means to be a chameleon and why many of us go through life feeling pleased with ourselves for being this way. They share real life examples of how they were chameleons in their younger years, how to tell the...

Are you driven by inspiration or insecurity? For most of us, the answer will be some combination of both. But are you aware of the relative weight of each, and to what degree you project insecurity as inspiration? In this episode, Hari Prasada interviews Rasanath about his coining of the term, “Inspiration-Insecurity Continuum.” They discuss the dangers of avoiding our insecurities, how to discern...

How do you respond to the question, “How are you?” Do you answer honestly or reflexively? Do you even know what the honest answer is? In this episode, Hari Prasada interviews Michael about his article, “ The Oldest Profession in the World .” They analyze the standard responses to the question, ‘How are you?’ and what our responses might be attempting to communicate on a deeper level. They discuss...

Do you react to things other people say or do in a way you wish you could do over, even when you feel righteous in your response? What if you could control your reactions a bit more and choose your responses more intentionally? In this episode, Hari interviews Vipin about his article, " How to Create Space Between Stimulus And Response ." They discuss an example from Vipin’s life when a...

Why would anyone give up a life of wealth on Wall Street to become a monk? And why would anyone who would eventually become a monk be motivated to work on Wall Street in the first place? In this episode, Vipin interviews Rasanath about his journey from investment banker to monk and the key steps along the way that led to such a significant change in life and career. They examine the root cause of...

Do you find yourself getting agitated when someone posts flattering things about themselves on social media? Do you think (or talk) badly about the other person, feel badly about yourself, or find yourself not wanting to reach out to connect with that other person? In this episode, Hari interviews Michael about his article, " Our Unilateral Contracts ." Michael introduces us to a framewo...

Most of us are wearing masks all the time. We are wearing ego masks that cover who we are so we can prove that we are worthy, that we are enough, and that we have a place in this world. Although these masks help protect us and help us garner appreciation, they also keep us locked up in a prison. They obstruct our satisfaction with life and prevent us from being truly connected with ourselves and w...

Shame is a hard emotion to talk about because we feel shame about having shame. Rasanath and Michael break down this complex emotion by unpacking an experience of shame that Michael experienced brought on by a feeling of not being productive enough. They examine the root causes of shame, the problems that arise when we feel shame, and what it will take to reconnect with our hearts so that we can w...

Who do you envy? And how does it serve you?  Envy is a universal emotion. It can lead us to feel ashamed, disconnected from others and ourselves, and sometimes even to wish ill for others. However, for many of us, it’s not clear we would want to rid ourselves of envy because we fear we might lose our “drive.” Rasanath, Michael, and Vipin examine the root causes of envy and debate the question: Whe...

In order to “overcome” imposter syndrome, most self help books teach us that we should just believe that we can be anything that we think we should be. While a positive mindset and confidence can be beneficial, with this way of thinking, our egos are still in control as they drive us on never ending quests for more validation and achievement. In this episode, the Upbuild team takes a deep dive int...

Anger is like a temptress, seducing us with promises of control and justice. And yet, for the vast majority of us, how we deal with our anger almost always leaves us further from our goals and creates collateral damage in the process. In this episode, Michael and Rasanath discuss the complexities of anger and how to channel it in a healthy way. They unpack why anger is often the default response o...

Why is it that our successes and failures have such a strong influence on how we feel about ourselves? The Upbuild team discusses the link between self-worth and the number on our paychecks, how we draw the line between healthy and unhealthy validation, and the limitations of chasing self-worth as a motivator. By getting clear on the difference between the ego and the true self, the team reveals h...

Most of us think we are self-aware. But what does it actually mean to be self-aware? And why is it that people who think they are self-aware are usually the opposite? The Upbuild team unpacks this paradox of self-awareness and the challenges that we face in becoming self-aware. The team also discusses why having real self-awareness brings up shame, why we often respond to feedback with the phrase,...

Join two former monks, a former startup founder/CEO, and a former equity derivatives trader as they journey into how we can become free from our egos - the identities of who we think we should be - in order to become who we really are. This podcast will help you understand your ego and the unconscious motivations, insecurities and emotions that affect your every action and relationship.   Links En...