Untoxicated Podcast

What are your expectations for recovery, for you or the people around you? Some expectations are absolute necessities. Others are unachievable, and even harmful. Sheri and Matt talk through a bunch of scenarios and explain how their expectations have changed over time. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the couple something too? if so, send your...

***Trigger Warning: Death from alcohol abuse is discussed. Julie, Rachel, Becky and Melanie join the conversation and help Sheri and Matt break down the issues surrounding custody agreements and co-parenting arrangements. From the impact these decisions have on the, “should I stay or should I go,” decision, to communicating with the kids, this roundtable episode covers a lot of ground...

We would never blame one person’s alcoholism on the attitude or actions of their partner. But it is also naive to ignore that loneliness in a relationship is an underlying issue that leads to self-medication. And that self-medication creates more distance. Guess what that distance leads to? (If you guessed, “more drinking,” you are picking up what we are laying down on this nuanc...

In this corner, making her third appearance on the Untoxicated Podcast , is Master Addiction Counselor, star and host of the Put the Shovel Down YouTube channel, the one, the only, the fabulous Amber Hollingsworth. And in this corner, is an old drunk who seems to now be addicted to asking questions and forming opinion about addiction, Sheri’s husband Matt. Sheri referees as these two go toe...

The more Sheri and Matt learn, the more undeniable the connection is between emotional intimacy, physical intimacy, sexual satisfaction and trust. Understanding the connection requires understanding the ways in which alcoholism does damage to intimacy in romantic partnerships. Sheri laughs and cries hard in this emotional episode. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question...

Early sobriety from high-functioning alcoholism is plagued with dopamine depletion and identity crisis resulting in mood swings, tension, sadness, thin skin and meanness. As a three-time gold medalist in the 2017 D!@k Olympics, Matt leads a roundtable discussion about what is takes to qualify for, and succeed in, this gruelling competition. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’...

There is conflict inherent in alcoholic relationships. And conflict brings guilt. Regardless of the outcome of the relationship, the conflict and guilt deserves relief. Sheri and Matt talk about the benefits of taking the time to remember why we fell in love. Do you want to ask Sheri and Matt a question? if so, send your question to  matt@SoberAndUnashamed.com . If you love or loved an alcoholic,...

Merry Christmas! During the holiday season, strained family relations manifest in challenging ways. There is perhaps no better time for Sheri and Matt to talk about the role of family in support of recovery – for the alcoholic or the loved one. Are we expecting too much? Do you want to ask Sheri and Matt a question? if so, send your question to matt@SoberAndUnashamed.com . If you love or lov...

It’s the most wonderful time of the year. At least that’s how it is hyped. If you are living through the holiday season with active alcoholism or early sobriety, the trauma and nervous system dysregulation can make this time of the year terrifying. On this episode, Sheri and Matt relive some relatable memories, give you a completely unnecessary education about the whole grain bakery bu...

Traci is back on the podcast! And this time, she brought her husband, Andy, along for the conversation. It has been over three years since Traci laid some wisdom on us in Ep61 when she lamented that when Andy got sober, it turned out that he had opinions. Five years into Andy’s sobriety, they both continue to grow and recover, and Traci is here to tell us all to be careful what we wish for....

There are a lot of universalisms in alcoholism and recovery, for the drinkers and the loved ones. One thing that sets each of us apart is the pain concoction that leads to sobriety and recovery. The pain concoction is the opposite of the reason for Sheri’s new-found love of Dr. Pepper. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the couple something...

*** Warning: suicide and death are discussed Barbara first appeared on the podcast almost three years ago on Ep70 when she shared the story of her husband’s alcoholism that led to her becoming a living organ donor before their eventual divorce. Barbara’s story has progressed significantly, and so has her understanding of the impact of alcohol on her and the man she loved. The emotional...

Traditions and triggers go hand in hand, and at no time is that more prevalent than during the holiday season. Sheri and Matt discuss how triggers and traditions have changed for them over time. They also brag about their credentials, and the talents derived from long toes, in a cringey sort of way. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the couple s...

We did not set out to record three episodes on the topic of relationship separation, but the response to parts one and two has been overwhelming, so we are proud to bring you this third installment in our unintentional series. Listen for the unmistakable balance of pride, humility, vulnerability and commitment in the voices of our three panelists who all credit the separation demanded by their spo...

***Trigger Warning – Talk of Self Harm and Suicide It is common knowledge that alcoholism is a progressive disease in relation to the volume and frequency of consumption. What is rarely considered is that the loved ones of alcoholics lower their own standards in a progressive way as well. In this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about the origins of our baseline standards, progressive deteriorat...

When is recovery over? When can we call declare success? Sheri and Matt discuss the baseline expectations that everyone deserves to have met in a thriving, loving relationship. They also discuss the expectations that lead to disappointment, and how those unmet expectations are often misdiagnosed as an indication that the person or the relationship isn’t successful in recovery. (And the Chris...

Sheri and Matt welcome Nicole, Lisa, Sarah, Shannon and Kelly to the podcast to share their real-life experiences with separation from their alcoholic spouses. Some of the separations led to divorce. Some of the separations led to sobriety and reconciliation. Some of the separations are new, and some have transpired over years. The two things all of our panelists have in common is that they have e...

Sheri and Matt deal with Matt’s hypocrisy about supporting detachment in alcoholic relationships. up to and including physical separation, when the couple never got separated themselves during his active addiction or recovery. Join our introductory session of The Developing Story for teens who have experienced alcoholism in their households on November 6th. For free access to this session, p...

No transition was more important to Sheri’s and Matt’s relationship recovery than when Matt stopped telling Sheri what she was doing wrong and started trying to understand why she felt the way she did. It was a major shift that saved their marriage, and they talk all about it on this episode. Join our introductory session of The Developing Story for teens who have experienced alcoholis...

Comedian and Recovery Coach, Cory Martin, joins Sheri and Matt for this insightful and deep episode That’s right, she’s not just about laughs. Cory pairs humor with some unconventional and well thought out ideas and perspectives including her 7 Active Principles of Conscious Recovery. She challenges some of Sheri’s and Matt’s thinking, and shares stories of how her experien...

No. That’s the short version of the title question’s answer. An emphatic, “no,” in fact. But as with most of the world’s hard-to-solve problems, there is much more to the story. On this episode, Sheri and Matt breakdown what happens in a alcoholic relationship breakdown, the roles of the partners, and how the relationship can be repaired. Sheri and Matt start the epis...

Our six panelist share their experiences and perceptions with a wide variety of alcohol addiction recovery programs. Some common themes emerge, like the healing power of finding your tribe, and that when it comes to recovery programs, there is no one size that fits all. Our roundtable discusses the role of science, the role of spirituality, traditional methods, new ideas, large formats, small grou...

Sheri and Matt welcome the most special of guests, their daughter, Cathryn, for a return visit to the podcast. This time, instead of working through the heart wrenching experiences of Cathryn’s childhood, like they did on Ep200 , they talk through all the details about their newest program: The Developing Story Writing Workshop for teens who have been impacted by alcohol abuse in the family....

Sheri and Matt discuss the personality type that often underlies high-functioning alcoholism. Removing the alcohol doesn’t change the personality, and for Matt, and millions of others, the work of recovery is understanding their discomfort with contentment. Confused much? Give this one a listen. Sheri and Matt start the episode by answering a listener’s question Do you want to ask the couple...

Kim’s nervous system, her mental health and her marriage were all suffering from the trauma of addiction. A happy ending seemed woefully unlikely. But with persistence, fortunate timing and openness to consider different alternatives, Kim’s husband has found lasting sobriety, and theirs is a story of redemption and hope – a story Kim thrives from telling. Sheri and Matt start the...