Untoxicated Podcast

One of the most widely accepted misperceptions about alcohol addiction is that the drinkers are the only people facing enormous challenges in recovery. The fact is that the loved ones of alcoholics have just as much work to do to heal, and the stigma associated with codependency makes the work just as challenging. In this episode, Sheri and Matt introduce our new Echoes of Recovery program for the...

On our first remotely recorded episode due to the COVID-19 pandemic, Matt and Debbie Scheer discuss the public policy decision that threw Denver into chaos. The mayor announced that liquor stores and marijuana dispensaries were not essential, and would close the following day. That order lasted about an hour due to the chaos it caused. Lines wrapped around blocks as people scrambled to get their b...

While the COVID-19 pandemic is nothing like the terrorist attack on America we suffered during 9/11, it does isolate and confine us in a similar way. Back then, 19 years ago, I sat on the couch, watched cable news, drank massive amounts of vodka and sulked. I can’t help but imagine that millions of drinkers will have the impulse to do the same thing now as we hunker down and watch the news a...

Was your middle school sex ed experience as shrouded in shameful secrecy and as incomplete as ours? In this episode, Matt and Debbie talk about the lasting negative impact of our society’s refusal to talk openly and honestly about one the most potentially beautiful and totally natural human acts. It isn’t just about fumbling awkwardness. When we don’t talk about sex, fulfilment,...

Sheri and Matt dive deeper than ever before into the intimate details of our alcoholic marriage. Our relationship started in a very typical manner – we mixed booze and romance and lowered all inhibitions. As life pressure built from work stress and raising children, our intimacy morphed from typical to tragic, and love was squeezed out of our physical connection. Now, in recovery from alcoho...

The damage done by alcohol is no laughing matter, but if we lighten up and loosen up, honest, healing conversation often follows. No one knows more about using humor as the ultimate icebreaker when discussing difficult subjects than my friend Debbie Scheer. Debbie is a professional speaker, she is the mother of two young boys and she is living her best life alcohol free. She uses humor to delve in...

To blame my alcoholism on Doritos is a bold statement, but the more we learn about neurochemistry and the way our brains process inputs, the more obvious the link between my adolescent snack patterns and my addiction to alcohol becomes. I am often asked how I knew I was an alcoholic when my high-functioning life hid it so well. I am also often asked how I became an alcoholic while others with simi...

Emily Schrader has always been a risk taker. Drinking alcohol and doing drugs was a natural fit for a woman living life on the edge. Now, with 15 years of sobriety, she is taking a different kind of risk putting everything she’s got into her non-profit mission called Bar Zero. Starting as a catering company that offers an exotic dry bar experience, Bar Zero will eventually grow into a full b...

I’m supposed to feel rested coming off the holidays, right? So why do I feel so bad – worthless and sinking? Some people drink to avoid processing trauma, abuse or neglect. High-functioning alcoholics like me drink as a reprieve from the relentless pursuit of accomplishment. This episode isn’t specifically about alcoholism or addiction in general. It is about dealing with the hum...

This is our third consecutive sober holiday season, and it is monumentally better for both my wife and me. In this episode, Sheri and I discuss the differences in Christmas number three on our quest for recovery. The stress and excitement are still there, but we’ve finally shed the pressure from both keeping up appearances, and the dreadful anticipation of alcoholic antics. It’s really...

In this episode, I share a speech I gave to a community of people recovering from alcoholism through the twelve steps. It was not an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, though many of the people in the audience were AA participants. In the speech I make the argument that alcoholism is not a spiritual problem for me, so a spiritual solution is no solution at all. The speech led to a lively, yet open-mind...

Jolene Park and her friends were like the cast of Sex in the City with their nights on the town and affinity for classy wines while complaining about their relationship struggles. The dots where there, but Jolene couldn’t connect them. Until she stopped drinking. Now Jolene is a leading voice talking about the benefits of going alcohol free, no matter where you are on the spectrum from casua...

When I was trying to gain my permanent sobriety, I needed my wife’s support more than ever. I thought her cautions attitude and reserved enthusiasm was selfish on her part. I didn’t understand that she needed to protect herself, and she had no control over my commitment to never drink again. I was the one who was selfish by crushing her soul, then expecting her to celebrate my recovery...

Christy Wynne didn’t have a spectacular, catastrophic, up-in-flames relationship with alcohol. Sure, she partied for many years, but she decided to leave the booze behind because she just didn’t feel right, and she could deny the cause of her health just being off no longer. Now she has taken her sobriety to new levels by coaching other gray area drinkers and speaking out about the dam...

The damage done to our marriage by my active alcoholism was massive. We are still trying to deal with the resentment, and repair trust and our intimate relationship. But now, we face an unexpected challenge. Sheri’s occasional, social drinking is having a toxic effect on our marriage. I’m not proud of the impact, but I do think it is important that we talk about it. Please let us know...

Almost 15 million Americans have cancer, but there are more than 15 million American alcoholics. Addiction to alcoholism touches all of our lives. In this speech designed to inform and destigmatize, I talk about how victims of cancer are treated with love and care while victim of alcoholism are treated with scorn and shame. The cure for alcoholism is available to us in changed attitudes and in the...

Listen to this speech I wrote for the students at a large, racially and economically diverse high school after they experienced a series of brazen and dangerous incidents of alcohol abuse. We can’t convince all adolescents to abstain from alcohol, but we can convince them to make drinking a choice with two acceptable answers. Let’s reduce peer pressure and increase mutual respect. Mayb...

Sheri and I are stuck. We have made tremendous progress in the recovery of our relationship, now in the third year of my sobriety, but resentments from the past continue to haunt us. We have unpacked, dealt with, explored, rehashed, discussed and worked through all of the issues. We have apologized – me for my drunken behavior, and Sheri for her angry responses – sincerely and endlessl...

In part two of a three part series about how Matt’s alcoholism has damaged our marriage, Sheri talks about the process of recovering our marriage from the depths of distrust and deceit. While we’ve made good progress, learning to love again is ongoing and requires patience and massive effort. The raw emotion in this episode tells the whole story.

God has an important place in my life. He always has. I am a very spiritual person, and I pray constantly both now and back when I was in active alcoholism. That’s why I don’t believe God wants us to let go and let God. For me, God has given direction to my life, but he expects me to do the work to get sober. I don’t believe alcoholism is a spiritual problem. I believe it is a br...

Relationships are so important to our happiness and our success in early sobriety. Taking alcohol out of our relationships actually does not fix the problems that our years of drinking caused. Removing alcohol only makes the damage visible and allows us to work on our problems and try to fix our broken relationships. In this episode, we talk about relationships with family members as well as intim...

The disease of alcoholism has many victims. The spouses and children of an alcoholic are victims. The parents and friends of an alcoholic are victims, too. The victim we forget is the alcoholic. If you are convinced alcoholism is a disease like I am, then the person afflicted with the disease is most definitely a victim. What other disease can you name where the victim is the target of blame and s...

In the third week of the SHOUT Sobriety program, we discuss two very important topics in early sobriety. We have to be patient with ourselves and our brains as we begin to recover from alcoholism. Not only does it take time for our brain chemistry to improve, but it takes time for our sobriety muscles to gain strength. Social events are dangerous for the first year of sobriety, and should be avoid...

In week 2 of SHOUT Sobriety, the topic could not be more important. This week we are focused on brain chemistry. We lean how our alcohol consumption hijacks our neurotransmitters and controls the reward pathways in our brains withholding pleasure from us unless we give our brains alcohol. We also learn about the power of the subconscious mind. It really doesn’t matter that we have decided on...

Learn about our program to help people navigate the treacherous waters of early sobriety. It is called SHOUT Sobriety , and we offer this six week strategy for those concerned about their drinking, and for the families of those who abuse alcohol. Hear my story and what worked for me to achieve permanent sobriety. Editorial note – when I say, “strokes,” I mean, “seizures.&#8...