Untethering Shame

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes: I believe in gentle parenting. I really do. I try to validate my child’s feelings, stay calm, and be patient. But by the end of the day, I hit a limit. I get firmer. Sometimes my tone changes. Sometimes I feel like the ‘bad guy.’ And then I spiral that I’m not actually doing gentle parenting right. It feels like there...

Welcome back to Untethered in Shame. In today's episode, I sit down with Mallary Tenore-Tarpley to explore a part of recovery that is rarely discussed, yet nearly universal: the middle place. Often, society presents recovery as a binary choice of being completely sick or completely recovered. However, the reality is far more nuanced, and most people spend years in a space where progress and se...

In this episode, I am joined by Garrett Wood, clinical hypnotherapist, executive functioning specialist, and founder of Gnosis Therapy, for a grounded conversation about high performance, shame, and sustainable well-being. Together, we explore why high-achieving, high-masking professionals often struggle with burnout, sleep disruption, and emotional disconnection (even when things look “successful...

I am so excited for this conversation today because it’s one I have personally been sitting with, wrestling with, and actively experimenting with over the past few weeks. We are welcoming back the incredible Abby Payne, who many of you remember from our first episode together on people-pleasing, self-worth wounds, and the nervous system. And today, we’re exploring a topic that affects every single...

In this episode, I sit down with Chris Mamone to talk about the complex reality of grief. Chris shares his personal experience of losing his son to stillbirth in 2022, and he explains how this massive loss forced him to re-evaluate everything he knew about processing pain. We discuss why grief goes far beyond just losing a loved one, noting that it can include job loss, moving, or losing relations...

I am equal parts curious, interested, and a little scared because of the incredible things we talk about today. In this episode, I sit down with Mel Dorman to explore how we can heal our toxic beliefs about wealth and redefine what it means to be financially secure. Mel shares an incredible path, starting from living in a slum in Kolkata, India, helping women escape sex trafficking on a dollar a d...

In this episode, I am joined by Kathy Wisniewski, certified health coach, owner of True and Lasting Wellness, and host of the Tragically Beautiful podcast, for an honest conversation about shame, abuse, and reclaiming personal power. We unpack why abusive and disempowering relationships are often misunderstood, how shame keeps people silent, and why leaving is not the same as healing. Kathy shares...

In this Ask Me Anything episode, I am pressing pause on specific listener questions to unpack a theme that has been showing up constantly in my work: the radical acceptance of imperfection. I have been thinking a lot about mistakes lately, from the tiny ones to the parenting moments that replay in my head at 2 AM. I discuss why being human means we are imperfect and why that imperfection is actual...

In this conversation, Kyira Wackett and Jemma discuss the complex relationship between body confidence and shame, exploring personal journeys and societal influences. They delve into the importance of self-worth, the impact of societal standards on body image, and the journey towards body acceptance. Jemma shares insights on intuitive eating, the significance of body neutrality, and the challenges...

In this episode, I am continuing our topic-driven conversations by tackling a feeling I know we all share: the tension between everything we want to do and what we actually have the capacity for. We live in a world that constantly tells us to do more, be more, and optimize more, creating a quiet, shame-filled narrative that if we can't keep up, something is wrong with us. I explore the radical acc...

In this episode, we welcome back Jane Pilger to explore the nervous system, shame, and the internal "parts" that drive our behaviors. While many believe binge eating stems from a lack of discipline, Jane explains that it is actually a nervous system response designed for protection. When we feel unsafe or overwhelmed, our bodies often turn to food as a way to regulate energy and numb difficult fee...

In this episode, I step back from individual listener questions to address a topic that’s generating a lot of confusion right now: trauma bonding. We explore the intersection of shame, attachment, and survival and why trauma bonds are so often misunderstood as “poor choices” or “lack of boundaries.” Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:What trauma bonding actually is (and what it’s not)Why our br...

Welcome back to the second half of this crucial conversation. If you haven’t listened to Part 1 yet, I highly recommend hitting pause and going back to listen to that episode first [LINK TO PART 1 HERE] . In that first episode, we laid the foundation—defining what "pig butchering" actually is and exploring the global machinery behind these scams. You really need that context for this episode to hi...

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous therapist who writes: “Sometimes it’s hard not to feel like a fraud when you’re helping clients through things you’re still struggling with yourself. How do you reconcile the shame of being seen as the expert when you’re still learning?” We explore the intersection of shame, imposter syndrome, and the myth of the “fully healed helper” — an...

In Part 1 of this two-part conversation, Kyira sits down with Michele Ilich-Daubas, a former senior legal analyst at Meta and scam-prevention advocate, to unpack the psychology behind modern scams — particularly “pig butchering,” a highly sophisticated form of financial and emotional exploitation. Rather than framing scams as random or obvious, this episode reveals how they are long-term psycholog...

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes: “I always say yes to requests from my friends, family, and coworkers — even when I really don’t want to or don’t have the capacity. Then I end up resentful, tired, or feeling like I’m the bad friend or partner for refusing. How do I actually learn to say no without drowning in guilt?” We explore the tension between com...

In this episode of Untethering Shame , I am joined by Jessica Fern, a therapist, educator, and the internationally recognized author of Polysecure , Polywise , and her newest book, Transforming the Shame Triangle . Together, we explore the Shame Triangle: the internal loop that occurs between the inner critic, the shame part, and the inner escaper. Jessica explains how we internalize the "drama tr...

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes: “I keep ending up with emotionally unavailable people. I want to believe I’ve learned, but part of me feels like I’ll just make the same mistake again. How do I rebuild trust in myself?” We explore the intersection of shame, self-trust, and growth — and how our fear of repeating mistakes often hides our progress. Insid...

Do you feel a sense of silent shame around aging or the changes happening in your body? In this episode, I sit down with relationship strategist Katie Rössler to discuss the often unspoken shame surrounding perimenopause. We explore how cultural perceptions of aging impact our identity and relationships, and why open communication is so critical during these transitions. We discuss the concept of...

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes: “Why do I lose interest as soon as someone actually likes me or treats me well? I say I want a healthy relationship, but every time I find someone good for me, I get bored or start pulling away.” We explore the intersection of shame, safety, and desire — and how the nervous system often mistakes calm for disconnection....

In this conversation with leadership communications coach  Salvatore Manzi , we explore why so many of us struggle to use our voice — whether in meetings, relationships, friendships, or moments that matter. Together, we look at how shame, early conditioning, nervous system responses, and social dynamics shape our ability to speak up. Salvatore breaks down the myths around “quiet leaders,” shares h...

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes: “I’m trying to be better about setting boundaries in relationships, but sometimes I feel like I’m just being controlling. How do I know the difference?” We explore the intersection of shame, fear, and self-trust — and how the tension between control and boundaries often reveals our deepest fears about being too much or...

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes: “I’m always trying to do more on social media — post more, show up more, engage more — because I feel like if I don’t, I’ll lose relevance or connection. But it’s exhausting. And every time I try to take a break, I feel anxious and invisible. How can I build a healthier relationship with social media that doesn’t make...

Money is one of the most common sources of conflict in relationships — and also one of the least understood. What starts as a disagreement about spending, saving, or financial priorities often turns into defensiveness, distance, and unresolved resentment. In this episode of  Untethering Shame , I’m joined by  Jordan Pendleton , a former financial advisor turned  Money Conversation Coach for couple...

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes: “Kyira, I’m struggling with Christmas this year. Money is tight, and I know I won’t be able to give my kids the big gifts that their friends at school will likely get. I want them to feel the magic of Santa without feeling ‘less than’ when they hear what other kids got. How do I keep Christmas joyful and special withou...