Unpacking Myself

We live in a society that is flashy. We are attracted to and impressed by fame, recognition, attention and it is easy to get caught up in chasing that or comparing ourselves to that but the true value of our life is measured by the impact we have in this world and on those around us. It's easy to dismiss our impact when it doesn't seem as flashy or as grand or large scale as those around us but wh...

I got fired up about a post I say that said never say these things in an email at work. I dive into why saying things a certain way is not the answer and how that can make us lose credibility instead of earn respect. Being a "boss babe" or "boss lady" has nothing to do with confidence by avoiding certain phrases. It is deeper than that so we need to go deeper than the external presentation. People...

Manipulation can feel hurtful, disrespectful and deceiving but why do people do it in the first place? On the receiving end it can be confusing because manipulation isn't a blatant and direct act. It is meant to confuse us - we are being told one thing but you feel that the intentions are not in line. This week I unpack what helps me get clarity in these moments of confusion, what motivates people...

Life is anything but predictable yet we continue to be shocked and surprised when things don't go as planned or go our way. It's hard to see it in the moment but the hard moments often make the best stories of how we grew or learned. The goal was never to not feel emotions but rather how quickly we can get ourselves out of negative emotions or mindsets. In this episode, I unpack how finding the hu...

I realized that at times, my need for clarity and transparency gave me the illusion that I knew exactly what was going on within someone else. This was delusional, this was my ego. How could we act like we know what it is to be someone else even when we "put ourselves in their shoes." The last thing we are as a species, is simple. We are complex, people are complex so how can we even think for a m...

During a recent chat, a friend and I noticed similarities in our marriages because of how our spouses were. When someone is whole themselves, without us, they create a stability and ease in their relationships that benefits those around them. When we are not whole and seeking other things or others to complete us, our relationships become shaky and tumultuous. When we are whole, change or growth o...

I recently noticed something my mind was doing. It did it back to back which allowed me to realize there was something to unpack. We are designed to protect ourselves from being hurt, not just physically but emotionally as well. If we don't take time to pause and unpack, we don't even realize the ways our mind tries to protect us. It creates false narratives, goes into judgment mode, makes things...

Most people are really uncomfortable with uncertainty, whether its in business or personal lives or career. Uncertainty brings up fear, stress, insecurities for us. We feel like we should know - what college we are going to, what career path we want, when we are going to get married, etc. And so to avoid the discomfort we try to plan everything and be ahead of it. We then impose our fear of uncert...

People always talk about how communication is key for any good relationship. Yes it is but what happens when people are honest in their communication, what happens when there are deeper issues they are dealing with? Communication doesn't necessarily help. The older generation and an eagle couple (yes you read that right)  helped me unpack what might be the actual key to a good relationship. I unpa...

I recently heard some wisdom and thoughts on a podcast that inspired me to do this episode :) They talked about what our true purpose really is and that life is meant to be good, filled with joy and love. But why does it feel impossible to get there at times? Why do bad things happen if the purpose is happiness? At first I felt that this idea was too simplistic and unrealistic but as I unpacked it...

Most people just want to be seen, heard and understood. We have this innate need to be validated, we want to feel like we matter and are valued. And without even knowing it, we give away our power and put this validation in the hands of those close to us - a parent, sibling, boss, child. This then becomes a lifelong chase that impacts all our relationships. Why do we do this? I unpack this topic a...

Gonna give it to you straight right now - I see women holding back their opinions, their disagreements, their desires over and over again. I see it in the workplace, in their marriages, with in laws, with family, with friends. Why do we do this? Why does it feel safer to do this than to just say what we are thinking or say what we rather do instead? What are we missing out on by holding back who w...

The concept of Love Languages was developed for couples but I think we need to talk about this across all of our close relationships. Doing something kind is meant to make the other person feel special but what if we are just doing what is in line with our love language versus theirs? If we do something nice, we want to make sure the ROI (return on investment) on our time and energy and money is w...

Michelle Obama recently said it loud and proud "I did not like my husband for 10 years of our marriage".... and guess what? It was while their kids were young. Bravo to her for admitting something that most people either didn't even realize was happening or were ashamed to admit. As I've gone through raising young kids myself and seen those around me do the same, I have noticed that more people fe...

It's easy to think it's okay to hide our crappy moods, temper and mess behind closed doors in our home where others except our own family can't see it but our home is a small representation of who we are and our life on a larger scale. I never really understood how this could matter or impact our life until some recent realizations. We can dismiss it or use it as a small stepping stone to make the...

Had this debate with some people recently. Is it better to start people at a 0 and let them prove themselves to you or do you just assume the best and good in all initially? Often times the latter can be misconstrued as being naive but is it? Can't you start people at a 10 and then still be smart about it when they do something hurtful or something you don't like? It's easy to write people off or...

Had a major epiphany while doing this episode - it's easy to be intentional with our days than our months & year. I don't know about you but I'm kinda getting tired of seeing the years just passing me by. Yes they are filled with love and joyful moments BUT am I making progress and moving forward in the way I want to? Are my years as planned or am I just high-fiving myself for getting things done...

I lived in India for 8 years of my life. I visited even after moving away but something about this recent trip just hit differently. Was it the place or was it my heart and mind's ability to receive this time around. Amazing how different and profound an experience can be when you are open and allow it. This isn't a sequel to Eat Pray Love…ha! It's me unpacking and finding lessons in the simple th...

There is "who we are" when things are good - people are kind, loving, respectful to us and then who we choose to be when people aren't kind, loving and respectful. It's hard to stay true to who we are and stick to our values when people push us in a negative way. We will feel the urge to do "tit for tat" but staying true when others are not good to us is when the true test of our character. More t...

There are stats, research, studies, experts that tell us when the odds are against us but this information can also create worry and block us from having the outcome we desire. It's easy to let our past and things that happen to us to define who we are today but it doesn't have to be that way. I share my story of how I shouldn't be who I am today considering the things that have happened in my pas...

As kids, we see the world with so much curiosity and get engrossed in whatever is in front of us. Then at some point in our life, we find ourselves standing to the side, being more of a bystander than a participant, being more in our head than engrossed in what is in front of us. This is something I noticed about myself and I'm learning to lean in more, allow myself to be engrossed and enthusiasti...

As the end of the year approaches, I noticed in myself and others how easy it is to jump from one exciting holiday to another, and life in the future rather than enjoying the simple, quiet, day to day moments in life as well. There is a balance between enjoying holidays and special events versus using these big events to make your life exciting. They can either add more joy or be the main source o...

Part of the human experience is lots of interactions with others, and lots of interactions with others means there will be conflict, hurt feelings, disappointment, frustrations. I would love to be the bigger person in all situations but sometimes it is hard for me to do. I got curious about when I was able to be the bigger person and let it go and when I wasn't able to as easily. As I started unpa...

Observing myself and others I've noticed that most of us have an ongoing, recurring "theme." A certain emotion, thought or experience that seems to happen throughout our lives whether it be at work, at home, with friends, in our marriage, with our kids. There are things that keep coming up for us regardless of the external scenario. In this episode, I share the deeper purpose and reason for this r...

I was feeling nostalgic about the time I lived in India recently and as I sat with those feelings, paying attention to how I felt and why, I realized that what was making me feel nostalgic was very specific. For many of us we feel nostalgic about certain places, things we used to do, certain people, even certain smells. I think nostalgia is more than just a fond memory of the past. I think there i...