Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex & Love

Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: Over 30 years ago, an elderly woman met with one of our pastors to tell him that the Lord had told her that oral sex is a sin. He took it to heart, and preached a whole sermon about its evils. Is oral sex a sin?...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: Why does my spouse's porn use and inappropriate sexual behavior feel so personal (even though it’s not)? Understanding this has been one of the hardest parts of my journey. My husband has, what I'll call, a porn addiction induced inability to orgasm. What I would l...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: I’m close to completing the Betrayal & Beyond group but it doesn’t seem like our group will continue to interact much after the group ends. I am only 6 months into this journey and still feel like I need the support of a group (especially since no one in my real li...

Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:  I feel rage every time I have sex with my husband. I am angry about how he took advantage of me all these years by having sex with himself and stealing my sex. I do NOT want him to feel any pleasure because he h...

Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: I'm in a Betrayal & Beyond group and it's been great for healing BUT my question is, where do I fit in as the girlfriend? How do I approach a Safety Action Plan when I'm not a spouse and don't really know...

Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: My husband has cancer and is unable to have an erection without viagra. He's offered to help me achieve orgasm in other ways, but this feels selfish. What do I do? How do you deal with your sex drive afte...

Email us your questions! - unfiltered@puredesire.org Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions: In porn/sex addiction recovery resources, most of them seem to recommend a celibacy period of at least 90 days. My husband, who is a recovering porn addict, uses 1 Corinthians 7:5 to say that is unbiblical, sayin...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: What do I do if my boundaries are not honored and my spouse continues to gaslight me and make me feel like the mean one? What is the best way to come up with boundaries and what are some good boundaries? We have been doing "recovery" for 6 years now. My hus...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: How do I stop thinking about the prostitutes my husband was with when he and I have sex? How do I get my head sorted out? Do you ever get to the point where your spouse's past with a prostitute doesn't bother you or will you always experience triggers? What...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: My husband is in a Pure Desire group but does the bare minimum. He says he’s sober and offended that I don’t trust him. He says he will always resent me for asking for a polygraph. Should my husband’s attitude toward me change with recovery? Is it an unreal...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: How do I process my own betrayal from his porn addiction and abusing my daughters and their friends? How do I reconcile with my daughter, who was sexually abused by her dad, whom I'm still married to? We have not resumed anything sexual, hardly even touchin...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: I’m in a Betrayal & Beyond group and my husband is in a Seven Pillars group. We are working through this painful process. I’m curious about what specifically men are seeking out that they are not being provided with by their partners? Are we talking about s...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: When my husband's secret affair life was exposed, I felt like I had to have sex all of the time to keep him from cheating. Now, he doesn't know how to have sex (or true intimacy) because sex was always "done to him." How do we work through all of this? How...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: I'm the only one in my group whose husband is not working on recovery or counseling of any kind. How do I navigate this, not manipulate or give ultimatums, and keep myself safe as I engage in this healing process alone? For me to feel safe and start rebuild...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.  In this episode, we answer these questions: As a parent in recovery, how do I start the conversation about sexual health with my kids? Is there anything about a teen brain that is different from an adult when it comes to struggling sexually or emotionally? How can I help my kids who struggle? (not just boys...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: As a parent in recovery, how do I start the conversation about sexual health with my kids? Is there anything about a teen brain that is different from an adult when it comes to struggling sexually or emotionally? How can I help my kids who struggle? Resourc...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather . In this episode, we answer these questions:  If we struggle with addictions, why can’t we just quit cold-turkey?  How long will it take to fully recover from addictive behaviors? How can the Three Circles tool help? Resources Full Episode On Youtube Betrayal & Beyond Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relat...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions: I went to my church for help and left feeling more confused and ashamed. What should I do now? If I’m a woman who struggles, how do I know if I can go to my church for help?  What can churches do to create safe environments for women who need help whether it's thei...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex & Love, with Ashley and Heather . On this episode, we answer these questions: I relapsed last weekend and feel so much shame. How do I pick myself up off the floor? Who do I tell about my relapse? What tools can I use to get back to restoration?  If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered , email us at unfiltered@puredesire....

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions: Everyone thinks he’s the ideal husband, but I’m miserable. Where do I find help if nobody sees the problem? Why is it so hard to walk away from someone causing me pain? My husband and I are in counseling, and the counselor thinks I’m the one overreacting. W...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex & Love, with Ashley and Heather.  In this episode, we answer these questions:  How much do I share with my kids? If I tell people about my struggles, will I look like a bad mom?  How do I avoid hurting my kids while I’m recovering?  Will I be able to raise secure kids when I’m such a mess? If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unf...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather .  In this episode, we answer these questions:  Since discovery, I can’t seem to function like I did before. I’m crying one minute and angry the next. How long will this last? As a betrayed mom, what steps can I take to begin healing and ensure I don’t take out my pain on my kids? How much do I share with my...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.  On this episode, we answer these questions: What does it mean to be sexually healthy as a single? What type of boundaries should I have for dating? I’ve heard of the “love cocktail” of chemicals people experience when falling in love. Can a person actually experience withdrawals from feeling in love? Resour...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather .  In this episode, we answer these questions:  What comes first: thoughts, feelings, or behaviors? I grew up in a home where we didn’t talk about feelings. How can I learn more about feelings, so I can teach my kids about feelings? I struggle with talking about feelings, especially to my husband. What can I...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather .  In this episode, we answer these questions:  I could go the rest of my life without sex. Is this normal? My husband is sexually anorexic. What does this say about me? Does the Bible really tell us we can’t withhold sex from our husbands? Resources The Great Sex Rescue , by Sheila Wray Gregoire Betrayal & B...