Undefended Dharma with Mary Stancavage

In this talk Mary dives into how craving and clinging show up in our lives and how much suffering, discomfort and discontent is caused because of it. We chase after pleasure all the time and hold tight to ideas and beliefs we think will give us what we want. The suttas are full of examples and wise advice to let go and let it be. Recorded Jan. 20, 2024 in the virtual world Send me a text with any...

Reflecting on the themes of humility, equanimity and resilience, Mary talks about how the practice can help us find the strength to meet each moment and each day. Mindfulness and an intention to be an advocate for ourselves are powerful ways we  stay grounded in an upside down world. This talk owes much to the teaching of Rick Hanson. Recorded Jan. 14, 2024 for the Insight Community of the Desert...

Kindness, friendliness, goodwill. The Buddha invited us to greet the world with a kind heart and without causing harm, but how do we do that in a world full of greed, hatred and ignorance. Mary discusses what gets in the way and how to move towards a heart of goodwill with integrity and wisdom.  Recorded Jan. 4, 2024 in the virtual world Send me a text with any questions or comments! Include your...

This simple quote from St. Francis Assisi contains a wise teaching on equanimity. What does it mean? How do we do it? Mary unpacks this invitation to move through the world with spaciousness, compassion and wisdom. Recorded Dec. 28, 2023 in the virtual world Send me a text with any questions or comments! Include your name and email if you would like a response - it's not included automatically...

Loneliness and isolation are feelings that are so pervasive these days. In this talk, Mary discusses how damaging this sense of disconnection can be and how the Buddha taught the importance of friendship and community. Finding true friends on the path supports our movement toward liberation. Recorded Dec. 24, 2023 for Insight Community of the Desert Send me a text with any questions or comments! I...

This talk was recorded at the Compassionate Heart Retreat in Los Angeles on Nov. 11, 2023. The title speaks for itself. Thanks to Recovery Dharma for the invitation and the recording. Much love! Send me a text with any questions or comments! Include your name and email if you would like a response - it's not included automatically. Thanks. Visit Mary's website for more info on classes and...

The Buddha's famous Fire Sermon describes how our senses are aflame when we're caught in craving and aversion. Mary discusses how often these flames are more like embers that we become used to. They smolder and continue unchecked while we're lost in our delusions. Paying attention helps to put them out and lead us towards liberation - nirvana is the cessation of the flame. Recorded...

Sometimes it feels as we're living in a binary world where there is either grief or gratitude and the mind creates stories as to why one experience is appropriate and the other is not. In this talk, Mary discusses being open to both - they do not cancel each other our, but with awareness, we can hold and be present for all. Recorded Dec. 2, 2023 in the virtual world Send me a text with any qu...

A brief reflection on how we are so deeply stuck in our conditioning that we are often unwilling to turn towards the reality of the moment. "Yeah, but" is what shows up when we hold on tightly. Let go of the 'yeah, buts' and greet the moment. Recorded Nov. 27, 2023, in the virtual world Send me a text with any questions or comments! Include your name and email if you would like...

Mary talks about how the practice of mindfulness and compassion has allowed her to walk through the few days after hearing about her brother's death. Willing to feel the grief, recognizing how we keep ourselves from feeling, and simply being present for the experiences of life is the simplicity and the power of this Insight practice. Recorded Nov. 18, 2023 in the virtual world Send me a text...

The story of Milarepa and the Demons is so emblematic of how we live our lives and how we can cultivate a spiritual path. We can choose to fight the reality of this moment or allow ourselves to be open to whatever arises. Mary talks about how this teaching can help us stay present for our lives and the world. Recorded Nov. 11, 2023 in the virtual world Send me a text with any questions or comments...

Mary reflects on the old story which tells us that there are two wolves at war in our minds - the good wolf and the bad wolf. The one who wins is the one we feed. Many times we get stuck in incredibly mundane ideas that cause so much discomfort.  How do we recognize when we're caught up in those unwise stories and how do we let go and feed what is most beneficial? Recorded Nov. 4, 2023 in the...

The world is spinning so quickly and it's easy to become unbalanced when things shift so rapidly. There is fear and anger, grief and sadness. It's important to be grounded and know our priorities in order to navigate each moment. In this talk Mary discusses developing a foundation that will support us which is based on the Buddha's most basic teachings. and which allows us to take c...

Continuing the conversation from last week, Mary discusses ways to stay present in the face of tragedy and the challenging moments we're walking through. Continuity of mindfulness, guarding the sense doors, skillful means, continuity of compassion and seeking connection with others are ways we can be present for this moment with wisdom and kindness. Recorded Oct. 21, 2023 in the virtual world...

A deep intimacy with our experience without preference is the essence of equanimity, however it's difficult to accomplish especially in the current moment when, once again, there is so much violence, suffering, greed, hatred and ignorance. There is so much grief and anger to hold. How do we sit with what is? How do we make space and become intimate with our feelings? Mary offers the Buddha&ap...

Mary looks at three qualities in the Paramis, Generosity, Patience and Metta, that will enable us to love unconditionally, and with an undefended heart. These qualities are within reach of all of us and can be cultivated to move towards a freedom in how we move through the world. We learn to treat ourselves and others with deep kindness and open heartedness. Recorded for the Insight Community of t...

Reflecting on the passage of time and also how life is contained in just this moment, Mary discusses how we can be present for both. Awareness allows us to see both the big picture of our lives and still be intimate with each moment and emotion as it arises. She also touches on the Nine Contemplations of Atisha which offer a wise way of reflecting on death and the human condition.  Recorded Sept....

A brief reflection on the way the practice informs how we move through the world.  Even during times when we can formally sit, awareness allows to be fully present for the moments we experience. Let it all in. Recorded Sept. 25, 2023 in the virtual world Send me a text with any questions or comments! Include your name and email if you would like a response - it's not included automatically. Th...

The Vipallasa Sutta is the Buddha's Teachings on Wrong View, or the distortions of the mind. We are taught about Right View as part of the Eightfold Path, but how do we recognize when the mind is caught up in views or stories that may be far from reality and in fact, which may cause harm to ourselves and others. Recognizing both personal and larger scale wrong view is vital in move towards li...

Using this wisdom from Ruth King as a framework, Mary looks back at 15 years of teaching and her experience with impermanence, imperfection and things not being all about her. It's been a journey of integrating the teachings and finding a foundation in the dharma leading to freedom. Recorded August 26, 2023 in the virtual world Send me a text with any questions or comments! Include your name...

Reflecting on a few hectic days of multiple emotions, Mary discusses how we can recognize and hold them with 'kindfulness'. How do you greet the moment since there really is nothing else. Recorded August 19, 2023 in the virtual world Send me a text with any questions or comments! Include your name and email if you would like a response - it's not included automatically. Thanks. Visit...

We all want to figure something out and be done; we want to live happily ever after. Unfortunately, the reality of existence is just the opposite: everything is impermanent and life is uncertain. This does not mean we are doomed to experience fear of loss and change, but instead the Buddha invites us to acknowledge the reality of this which in turn leads to freedom as we're no longer chasing...

Inspired by a quote from Lama Rod Owens, Mary reflects on what legacy might mean in a Buddhist context. How do you live in this moment? How do you impact the world around you? Each action is our legacy and the invitation is to practice for the benefit of all. Recorded August 3, 2023 in the virtual world Send me a text with any questions or comments! Include your name and email if you would like a...

It's seems that joy takes a backseat when things are difficult or messy.  The critical voices take over and tell us that now is not the time. However, it absolutely is the time. In fact, joy is one of the Awakening Factors and vital for our liberation. In this talk Mary discusses how to have joy in difficult times and how not to confuse joy with outside pleasures. Deep gratitude to James Bara...

Inspired by Sayadaw U Tejaniya's teachings on awareness and experience, Mary reflects on how to use these teachings in our practice and in everyday life to keep us from getting wrapped up in stories about tomorrow and yesterday. Instead, we are grounded right here which enables the growth of wisdom and clarity and the diminishing of craving and aversion.  Recorded July 22, 2023 in the virtual...