Undefended Dharma with Mary Stancavage

The invitation to relax, observe and allow is a wonderful meditation instruction, but it's also a way we can bring mindfulness to our everyday lives. It's a practice of equanimity, awareness and liberation - simple yet profound. Recorded July 11, 2024 in the virtual world Send me a text with any questions or comments! Include your name and email if you would like a response - it's no...

 Continuing last week's theme of experiencing liberation in this moment, Mary looks at Stephen Batchelor's teachings on embracing our existence and opening to the everyday sublime which is available to each of us at any moment. Recorded July 6, 2024 in the virtual world  Send me a text with any questions or comments! Include your name and email if you would like a response - it's not...

In this podcast, Mary reflects on the teachings of Buddhadasa Bhikkhu and his concept of "everyday nirvana". If we can follow the Buddha's direction to not cling to anything as I or mine, we will have the freedom and liberation offered by this path. That letting go can happen at anytime - our meditation practice creates the conditions for it - and it's important that we begin t...

The Paramis are 10 qualities of the heart that it is said we need to develop for awakening. Sylvia Boorstein says they are the natural inclination of the heart and are gifts that we give to each other - they are a path of kindness. These qualities, which include generosity, willingness, and patience, are something we can work with in our daily lives. In this talk Mary gives an overview of these qu...

One of the heart practices - or brahma viharas - is Mudita, or appreciative joy. This challenging practice invites us to be happy for the wholesome good fortune of others, even those people we may not like. This is a challenging practice because we live in a competitive society that teaches us either we are a winner or a loser and if someone else is winning then we're in trouble. Mudita break...

Samsara is the cycle of birth and death that we experience before enlightenment and it is also considered the suffering in this world. In this brief talk, Mary reflects on the reality of our lives and how fighting against difficulties only intensifies them. Recognizing that things are messy and finding a way to make peace with that is the beginning of our path to liberation. Recorded June 8, 2024...

In Buddhist teachings there are the ideas of conventional and ultimate reality. In Mahayana tradition they're known as the two truths of relative and absolute. These two ideas enable us to move through the world dealing with the ins and outs of our everyday lives (convention/relative) reality, while using the teachings of impermanence, no-self, and dukkha as a foundation as we move towards li...

We have all been hurt in our lives, to a greater or lesser extent. This hurt often brings up challenging emotions which we can run from or make space for. Healing happens when we become willing to turn towards the difficulty. This healing involves taking care of ourselves and Lama Rod Owens suggests that this healing is necessary before we can begin to forgive others. Jumping right to forgiveness...

The idea of an undefended heart seems counterintuitive right now especially with all the suffering in the world.  We think that putting up walls will keep us safe but instead the armor just isolates us. The Buddha invited us turn towards the reality of our lives and the world and open to all. In this talk Mary discusses the need for an undefended heart, what gets in the way and how to move towards...

In the Buddha's wisdom he invited us to reflect regularly on our mortality which flies in the face of a society which tells us we can be immortal if we just do it all right.  The denial of reality and craving for the impossible causes so much suffering and disconnection. When we turn to face the reality of our lives and our shared humanity, we experience a freedom and a connection with others...

The Buddha's teaching on Wise Speech serves us well in these days of great polarization. We have our sides and spew our rhetoric, often without thinking about how we communicate can make a bad situation worse. The invitation, as always, is pause and think about the truth, necessity and kindness of how we connect with others. It does not mean we shy away from difficult conversations or keep qu...

Bhikkhu Analayo suggests that the Buddha's teachings can be summed up in two words, "Let go." Ah, but if it were only so easy. Mary reflects on how the act of letting go gets more and more subtle and challenging the deeper we go and the longer we practice, but the freedom is worth the effort. Recorded April 29, 2024 in the virtual world Send me a text with any questions or comments!...

Grief seems to be a constant companion these days and making space for it is an important part of our practice. Grief can be scary and we're tempted to push it away instead of inviting it in. When we do acknowledge our grief, we reconnect with all of humanity and recognize we're not alone. Connecting with grief is empowering - allow yourself to feel and be open to this moment. Recorded A...

The teaching of impermanence is a core tenet of Buddhism and our ability to recognize the impermanence we meet each day is so important for us in order to be free. How we relate to shifting and changing experiences while staying in the present is the key. Mary discusses the places we get stuck and how we can let go. Recorded April 13, 2024 in the virtual world Send me a text with any questions or...

Mary discusses this famous teaching of the Buddha. When we experience pain or something uncomfortable the tendency is to react it a way that mitigates the discomfort. The reactivity often just intensifies the initial pain rather than helping us be present with the discomfort. This reactivity is often subtle and deep and takes willingness and practice to uncover and let go of. Mindfulness allows us...

Building on last week's talk about overwhelm, Mary discusses how vital it is to make the effort to come back from those places and stories that are not helpful an to make the effort to stay where we are. How do we let go and how do we stay present with whatever is showing up? And once we find place of equanimity, we realize that effort remains part of the practice. Effort is vital on our path...

When life gets busy, we can become overwhelmed by everything. Both our lives and the world can be too much. However, the invitation of practice is to be right where we are -- overwhelm occurs when we spend our time in the future or the past and being present is how we cope. It's overwhelming if we don't pay attention. Recorded March 23, 2024 in the virtual world Send me a text with any q...

In this talk Mary discusses how important being grounded is in the present moment is to be open to gratitude. When we're stuck in thoughts about I, me and mine, it's a challenge to recognize how connected we are to the world and how gratitude arises naturally when we are. Recorded March 16, 2024 in the virtual world Send me a text with any questions or comments! Include your name and ema...

When we practice for extended periods of time we find that our hearts become tender. But often we don't have the time to practice so intensely. The question becomes how can we cultivate a loving and compassionate heart right now, and in a world that can be challenging. Mary discusses the Buddha's invitation to move through the world with good will towards all and reads a poem by Zenju Ea...

There is no dharma talk this week so Mary offers a few reflections on the benefits of residential retreat and the invitation to make peace with the way things are. Recorded March 4, 2024 in the virtual world Send me a text with any questions or comments! Include your name and email if you would like a response - it's not included automatically. Thanks. Visit Mary's website for more info o...

Taking refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha, The Triple Gem, is usually done on retreat or other occasions. In this talk, Mary delves into what taking refuge means and how reflecting on each of these supports our journey to liberation. "Taking refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha is like putting on an overcoat on a cold night. There is great comfort to be found there.&qu...

The world seems to be screaming right now - there is so much going on with violence, climate change, oppression and injustice at every turn. We also have our day-to-day issues to deal with. At times it like these it is more important than ever to realize that love is the path to liberation rather than hatred, greed or delusion and apathy. The Buddha taught over and over again how vital it is to cu...

In this talk Mary discusses the concept of samvega which means the experience we feel when we finally see through the delusion and stories that we have believed and used to guide our lives. It can be a shocking experience and an example is when the Buddha saw a sick person, an old person and a corpse. He experienced samvega .  This feeling can help us move along a spiritual path and Mary talks abo...

Mary offers the invitation to start where you are quite often but what does it mean? It's the name of a wonderful book by Pema  Chödrön, but additionally it is a reminder that we cannot be anywhere other than right here. We often think we have to get to a certain place before we're ready to tackle our problems, or that something has to go our way. Instead, we're asked to start right...

Buddha taught that the six realms of  Saṃsāra  are where we are caught in the continuing cycle of birth, death and rebirth. We only become free when we are free of craving or clinging, and see clearly into the characteristics of existence. These realms can also be viewed as psychological states that we experience from day to day - the heaven realms of pleasure and the hell realms of suffering. In...