Undefended Dharma with Mary Stancavage

As much as we try to outrun old age, sickness, and death, each of us subject to these truths. We live in a culture of denial and telling us we're not doing it right if we "let" any of these things happen. Instead, as the Buddha teaches, we recognize the truth of our existence and make peace with the reality of the human condition. How do we deny and how do we become familiar with ou...

In this episode, Mary discusses a teaching from Sister Clear Grace Dayananda, the Traveling Nunk, who spoke about putting down the stick of self. This stick is when we see everything through a personal lens, through our own stories and craving or aversions. This stick is a stick of dukkha, or suffering, and when we learn to recognize it or put it down, we taste the freedom of just being. Recorded...

The Buddha's teaching on lovingkindness, or metta, is not just about throwing magic pixie dust on others, but is about developing a way of being in the world which allows us to live without fear. We let go of self and other and move through the world with wisdom, clarity, ease and friendliness towards all. Mary explains how mindfulness practice is essential for this transformation and liberat...

The idea of Beginner's Mind, or Don't Know Mind is a useful practice in letting go of our preconceived ideas about the world and how things should be. When we get stuck in should, what if and if only, we get stuck in the dukkha of craving and aversion. The willingness to let go of those ideas and the humility to say, 'don't know' is the route to liberation.  Recorded June...

Equanimity - it's a million dollar word, but what does it mean and how do we experience it? In this brief reflection, Mary talks about her favorite definition of equanimity - "a deep intimacy with our experience without preference" and what that means in our day to day lives. The Buddha's teachings offered equanimity a quality necessary for liberation and a way to peace in this...

In this talk, Mary reflects on the Buddha's instruction to his son Rahula about the importance of truthfulness. He says that once you're capable of lying, there is no evil you cannot commit. This is a strong statement but underlies the Buddha's teaching that being fully present with reality is the path to freedom. Lies and delusion are how we disconnect ourselves and others from the...

Mindfulness meditation is so common these days that many of us take it for granted and miss the incredible importance of this practice on the path to liberation. Mary discusses each of the four foundations in the Buddha's wise teaching. It is a path that offers a way to be fully present in each moment and to live with clarity, wisdom and compassion. Spend some time with this simple, yet subtl...

On the third anniversary of the murder of George Floyd, Mary reflects on how powerful the dharma can be as we greet the world as it is, and work to end injustice and harm where we find it. The Buddha's enlightenment offers us a path to end suffering for all. As Reggie Hubbard says, "If your offerings don't speak to the cries of the people, what are you doing?" How does your pra...

Along with Greed and Hatred, Delusion is considered one of the Three Defilements or Three Poisons, in Buddhist teachings. These three underlie so much of the suffering in the world and need to be rooted out in order to be free. Delusion may be the most challenging to see because we're so unaware of it and it masquerades as many other things. In this talk, Mary shows us how delusion shows up i...

In this short talk, Mary reflects on words of wisdom from various teachers all inviting us to be, stay and return to the present because there is no other path to liberation. Simple phrases from Jack Kornfield, Rick Hanson, Sayadaw U Tejaniya and even a tea bag, remind us to be right where we are. Recorded May 11, 2023 in the virtual world Send me a text with any questions or comments! Include you...

We sometimes hear the statement that someone is being a good Buddhist or a bad Buddhist based on some action. But does the concept of good or bad Buddhist even exist? In this talk, Mary examines the invitation to be a Buddha rather than a Buddhist. The Buddha offered a path to follow which takes us away from suffering and towards liberation and it's a personal journey based on our own experie...

The practice of meditation invites us to be available to every experience that shows up, but we have been conditioned all our lives to react in certain ways which means we're not available. We may not even realize that we're turning away particular experiences. In this talk Mary discusses how we pick and choose what we will and won't be present with and how to break down these barri...

 Being happy for other's happiness is one of the hardest practices but one that is essential for our liberation. Mudita, or appreciative joy, is one of the Brahma Viharas and teaches us a true generosity of the heart. Breaking free from the culture of competitiveness, judgement and othering, mudita allows us to experience the joy of others as our own.  Recorded April 22, 2023 in the virtual w...

This talk is an invitation to turns towards reality and the truth of our existence in order to move toward liberation. Reality is always present but we are trapped in our perceptions and viewpoints which may not necessarily be the best for us and may even be harmful. As Ayya Anandabodhi says, "The more we're attuned to the truth of the way things are, the more clear things are, the more...

Setting an intention is a wise and skillful way to move in a direction that takes us away from dukkha and towards liberation.  The ten Paramis are qualities that Sylvia Boorstein calls the natural inclination of the heart. In this talk Mary discusses how the Paramis can serve as a beautiful container for our intention and a way to greet our day to day experiences with wisdom and compassion. Record...

Thought, word and deed: the Buddha talked about the importance of these three in how we communicate with the world. Teacher Larry Ward calls them the three powers. In this talk Mary discusses the necessity of paying attention to our thoughts because the impact on our lives is so meaningful and touches just about everything.  You really want to be aware of something so powerful. Recorded March 23,...

Every once in a while the reality of the human condition - of sickness, old age, and death - comes at us with full force. The question is always about how we greet the moment. In this talk Mary discusses the importance of wisdom and clarity and also about the compassion necessary to open our hearts to each moment. Recorded March 18, 2023 in the virtual world Send me a text with any questions or co...

Inspired by Women's Month, Mary talks about women in Buddhism going back to Mahapajapati, the first nun, and what women experience today. Buddhism is not immune from patriarchy and misogyny and a willingness to see where delusion lies is vital for the liberation of all beings. Recorded March 11, 2023 in the virtual world Send me a text with any questions or comments! Include your name and ema...

In this talk Mary discusses two ways the mind drags us away from being present for our experience, especially if it's something unpleasant or uncomfortable. Distractions and habit energies often work together to keep us on a path of craving and aversion and far away from freedom. Identifying our habits of mind and developing a willingness to let go is of paramount importance for our journey t...

A brief reflection on how easily we're distracted from what our actual experience is by focusing on something out there. A blizzard during a retreat is a good way to recognize how this can show up. Recorded Feb 28, 2023 in the virtual world Send me a text with any questions or comments! Include your name and email if you would like a response - it's not included automatically. Thanks. Vis...

The Buddha's teachings on giving and generosity were clear - there is no liberation without it. If we knew how important it was we would not cling to anything. But we live in a society that tells us there is never enough which breeds craving and selfishness, whether conscious or not. This talk invites us to recognize what giving and generosity look like, and how to cultivate it as we walk thr...

The Buddha's teachings on the Five Remembrances invite us to deeply connect with our mortality and the mortality of all beings. It's a challenging reflection and what that is energetically denied by our society. How do we make peace with impermanence and fully embrace the human condition? Recorded Feb. 11, 2023 in the virtual world Send me a text with any questions or comments! Include y...

Mary shares some of the teachings from the recent retreat she attended: greeting everything with compassion, discerning skillful and unskillful thoughts and responses, and the Buddha's invitation to go forth and care for the world. And then she shared how she tried to makes sense of these teachings when getting home and hearing about the violence, mass shootings and murder of Tyre Nichols. Re...

After a week on retreat and no class or dharma class to upload as a podcast, Mary sends a few words of greeting to everyone listening with a reminder of compassion and care. Recorded Jan 30, 2023 in Burbank, CA Send me a text with any questions or comments! Include your name and email if you would like a response - it's not included automatically. Thanks. Visit Mary's website for more inf...

Our modern world has seen the glorification of experts in all fields and Buddhism is no exception to this. In this talk Mary juxtaposes the idea of expert and their rarefied knowledge to the wisdom, clarity and simplicity of Thai Forest Master Ajahn Chah's teachings. Ajahn Chah made the dharma accessible to anyone, maybe not easy, but simple. Recorded on Jan 21, 2023 in the virtual world Send...