Unclassical

Welcome to the concluding part of The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe! And wow, what a ride, shut up Susan, shut up Aslan, and damn! Narnian battles are next level! Put the rabbits and squirrels down!

Sorry for the radio silence, but Marsha has been actually silent, the 100 day cough is a real bitch. But we're back and we've got big news and an Aslan as you've never heard him!

Merry Christmas to one and all! - unless we don't like you, then you can fork off. But we like everyone here so whayyyy! Welcome to our Christmas episode, I'm just going to list some key quotes from this episode: - Egg grog (genius) - Tongue twister of the week; "To say which way the witch's sledge went" - Very glad and also, very solemn - Fire fires of the sun Enjoy!!

Get ready for perhaps the best life advice ever from our eccentric, dear professor. Find out the lengths we'll go to to avoid going on boring tours. And really question how trusting these children are - as if they're from war time London with "Mum's the word!" plastered all over the streets - Ed is the only one with his head half screwed on and he's a c**t addicted to cra...

Join us for an unseasonably hot Christmas. Apologies, for munching sounds, we're only human! But welcome, to the winter wonderland, that is Narnia, and... is Mr Tumnus alright? Shall we kick Edmund? And... does 'foreword' confuse anyone as much as it does Katy?

Is anyone else as gross as us? And back to the story, just saying Jekyll, well, he's not that good is he? And get cosy, because this gets sppoooooooky! We've really enjoyed this read by the way and hope you have too, and we can't wait for our Christmas series!

Part 2 of our spooky Halloween read! Are you feeling romantic? Is Jekyll? Is there more to the mysterious Hyde character? And who's working late in the lab one night?

It's spooky season, so perfect timing to check out this Scottish classic - who is the monster and who is the man??!!! (Seriously, the Hunchback of Notre Damn is very quotable in this). Expect extreme ableism (tw) and terrible Scottish accents, and of course dastardly deeds! It's about to get dark...

Last episode of One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, we were happy to see the back of this book, and gave it a send off we've never done before. We also have a long tangent about how to kill lots of different types of animals...sorry... do you know how to kill any animals? Hey, just making conversation! (But no, only stroke animals, they're nice!)

But Ratchet is, well, ratching up the heat? That's definitely not a saying, sorry, it's nearly 1am, enjoy the carnage, and a carnival is a terrible idea right?

Part two is here. There's raging, there's bold departures from logic. And oh my god, someone give us a dictionary, because the English language is hard! Serious trigger warnings for r*pe, r*cism, s*xism, basically, this book is a steaming pile of offence.

This episode is a lot of set up, as this book needs a lot of trigger warning and context, and we're nattery noos of course! We hope the comforting words of our father "We all die alone" help you at this tumultuous time, and that you're not too traumatised after this episode. Remember, don't chat out of open windows and check what your bra looks like before being filmed. But i...

Oh my god, this episode, we all need a minute. Jesus HAlso, trying to improve our sound quality without hiring a studio, it's a work in progress guys, sorry but bear with, hope it's not too jarring. And let us know if there's anything you'd like us to discuss in our debrief! (And are two types of potato on a roast excessive?)

Are these little piggies in over their heads? Do you know what a cloaca is? And is duckling just a shltIing after all? It's all falling apart (literally) in this week's return to Animal Farm.

Well the humans are gone, but is Animal Farm the eutopia that Old Major envisioned? And who will lead now that Jones is gone? Apart from tuning in for this gripping tale, tune in for 'Katy - The Eighth Wonder of the World - The Most Pointless Psychic You'll Ever Hear!' No but, seriously, it's a little creepy! Also, what do we think of Mollie? We've been discussing her ever sinc...

We'rrreeeeee back! Guys, we're buzzing to get back to recording us cackling for you to hear in your ears! As you know, it's been nuts, so what better way to start a new chapter (hehe - pun!) than diving into an Orwellian nightmare - but don't tell Katy! She's still hoping for a wholesome cottagecore tale... let's see how long that lasts!

:( it's our last episode with little Sarah! Will Sarah remain a servant at Miss Minchin's school forever? Will Ramdas carry on staring through her window? Will Becky finally be recognised as a vulnerable child? And most importantly, is Sarah's attic on the left or right? We'll be having a short break while we work on the next season, but also we have a new project up our sleeves... more on that so...

This week - how about we set fire to it all? Set fire to your enemies houses? Set fire to the schools? Burn the lot! (Can you tell Marsha is a little antsy this week?) And! We cool with grown men sneaking into little girl's rooms? Why does Santa get a free pass? No. Doesn't sit well with us at ALL! But most importantly, the fact we must put ahead of everything else -Sarah, was hungry.

Sorry it's late - but here it is! Part 3 of A Little Princess! Find out how servant life is treating Sarah, why are we all Oliver Twist? And does the new revelation about Sarah's dad really bum you out? TW: Turns out Becky and Lottie are hella racist, I wouldn't have predicted it from those characters, but there you are.

So if you didn't complete last week's homework of watching the 1995 film version of A Little Princess - what are you doing here? Shoo, shoo! Go watch it! We're back with Sarah and her whimsical fancies and it's party time! Sarah is turning 11 years old (does that mean she hasn't seen her dad for 4 years? Savage), all the girls are excited for what is going to be the birthday party of the century,...

We'rrrrrreeeeee back!! And what a book to kick off 2023 with! Get ready from some 18th century 90s vibes - you read that right! We're reading A Little Princess! We're hoping you've seen the 1995 film (if not, go do your assigned homework of watching that now) and come along on this enchanting (sometimes disturbing) adventure. Meet Sarah, dear Papa and the Minchin sisters as Sarah starts at her new...

Here it is! The final part of Nutcracker is here just in time for Christmas, so cosy up by the fireside, dim those Christmas lights and listen to the tale of a grown nutcracker grooming a child by showing her a lot of sweeties. Nutcracker? More like cradle snatcher. Cradle Snatcher Nutcracker.

Want to hear more inappropriate rhymes? Well you came to the right place! Why does everyone speak in rhyme? Also, you can find out why you should never ask an Astronomer for directions. Why do old books have so much beef about green eyes? And how many breaks is too many breaks in a bedtime story? Further, there is an important message in here about catching up with family (they might have somethin...

I'm not even going to address the title of this episode, you'll just have to listen and be horrified like we were. I will ask though, if anyone else's mums cut corners off tables? Just us? Probably just us. And also, MERRY CHRISTMAS! Come join us for some fantastic festive vibes, and very lax safeguarding of minors!

The final part of Dracula is here! Will the boys get their act together and forget about bloody breakfast, or will Dracula out wit them yet again? What will become of dear Mina? And we meet the new characters of Bowie and Kukri, what mischief will befall them?